itsallthesame Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 Hey im new to the site. I am a 20 year old male that does not know what to do at this point... Here is my story: I started dating this girl around April of 06. I have had a couple of relationships before this one, but none of them felt as special as this one. I mean this was perfect. No fights, her parents and siblings love me and the sexual chemistry was great. I really had nothing to complain about until she came back from a trip she underwent with her friends. She went to another country with her friends and her best friend's brother who is 19. When she came back she was not the same. I just felt something was wrong and something had happened. She began disobeying her parents and getting home late (something that they don't tolerate). About a three weeks ago we had a fight (the second one in two weeks) and went on a break. I went to her house this past Saturday and she wasn't there. I chilled with her bro for a few waiting for her and I saw "our diary" where she would write about me and her. I read the last page and found out she had kissed her best friend's brother "and did not want that kiss to end". I felt so betrayed that when she got back I asked her to tell me the truth about her and this new guy, but she kept on lying until i actually showed her our diary. From there on it was all crying for her and saying how "sorry" she was and that she didn't want to tell me because it would "hurt me". Well, we broke up that day. The weird thing is that even though I felt betrayed and angry, I cant find myself to be mad at what she did. I guess I just couldn't see her crying like that saying that "she didn't want to lose me" because i was "one of her best friends". On Monday I went over to her house to speak with her and I told her I wanted to be friends with her, but it was gonna be hard (i did this because I was told by her bro that she was a wreck for the past few days and I just cant see her like that). Well, we hugged said what we had to say and for some reason started kissing passionately. One thing led to the other and well... you know. She called me again yesterday and we talked more about being friends and that she likes the other guy , but I was surprised when she told me she wanted to see me on Sunday. Today I called her and we decided to meet up and talk about how being friends was gonna work out. We ended up repeating what we did Monday... Telling each other how much we like and love each other and like Monday she had to go to see her friend (because the two of them take Judo lessons together)... I have a few questions: 1- What is happening? 2- What does she want from me? 3- Does it look like our relationship could be salvaged? 4- What should I be seeing her? 5- Is she confused or knows what shes doing? I know I probably did not explain it well, but Im so confused that I dont even know what to do anymore... Thanks for the responses Link to post Share on other sites
Micke81 Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 Well, you need to have a serious talk with her. If the two of you decide to salvage the relationship, then it can be done, BUT if you decide not too...then I really don't think that the two of you can be friends. You'll just have to cut ties all together. This probably means cutting ties with her entire family by the way, not just her. Sometimes people just can't be friends after they breakup. Particularly if it was under these type situtations. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 You don't want to be friends with her. Doing so will ease her guilt for what she did and have you around, on a string, if she changes her mind. It's a win for her, loss for you. You are better off cutting your losses and cutting off contact with her. Also, how easily you forgive her has me concerned. This is doormat behavior. You don't forgive her and want her back so easily, especially when she is telling you she wants another man. Please. Read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Glover to understand how being a door mat is not attractive to women. The sooner you learn this, the better off you are. Don't be friends with her. The only one who benefits is her... Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 sll that friends crap is just that crap! You dont need to be friends with her. She wants to be with someone else than do so. But if you leave, you leave everything. no friendship. And u my friend, u go and get some new coochie. Take it easy and heal yourself. you'll be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
loveinlife Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 She is trying to use you and when she does and is ready to find the other guy more attractive, she will let go. 1 thing that you are doing is disrespecting yourself, she sees this weakness and finds you more unattractive. get where this scenario is heading. You did nothing wrong in this relationship as it seems, its her loss. best thing to do is to let her go. The friends thing happened to me, only to find out that i get stabbed a second time when they finally decide to leave. just my 2cents. gluck bro! Link to post Share on other sites
Author itsallthesame Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 well tonight I erased her from my life... It hurts, but I think its the right decision. Thanks for the responses. Link to post Share on other sites
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