Lyssa Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 I tell you - ex-es are impossible! My ex broke up with me about 3 - 4 years ago because of his mother. Now, he wants me back. He knows I am seeing someone now and I have no intention of getting back together with him. But he insists (still texting me as I type) that he can make it better and things will be back to normal. WTF? It won't be the same because I don't love him anymore! Great, now he's calling me... Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 If you really don't want him in your life as a bf then you need to tell him straight up to get lost.. Any less would be leaving the door somewhat open and could be leading him on at this point Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lyssa Posted October 4, 2007 Author Share Posted October 4, 2007 I am not leading him on. I texted him and told him I do not want to get back together with him. He seems to think that I am still not over him because the longest r/ship I had was with him but I am so over him. Another thing is that, I can be harsh but I do not want to hurt his feelings even though he hurt mine big time. He lets his mother dictate his life - that was what caused him to break it off with me. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 If he won't stop texting you then I would suggest either blocking his number or changing your cell number.. Sometimes a guy can grab a hold of something small like the fact you reply to his texts as a chance to get you back. If he really won't leave you alone then I would take quick action and nip this in the bud to remove him from your life.. Try a text that basically says to leave you alone and to never contact you again or your will seek legal action to have him stop... Link to post Share on other sites
directx Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 I guess the 'Let's just be friends' or 'I think of you as a brother.' probably won't work at this point... Just tell him flat out you are not comfortable communicating with him and wish him the best. Come on! Get some guts! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 Oh, give me a break. It's easy to peel them back. Beyond that, if they want to stick around and continue trying, it's their responsibility. Link to post Share on other sites
oppath Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 Can you blame him? You're gorgeous, you give good advice...and you are too kind to give him the swift kick in the nuts he deserves. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lyssa Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 If he won't stop texting you then I would suggest either blocking his number or changing your cell number.. Sometimes a guy can grab a hold of something small like the fact you reply to his texts as a chance to get you back. If he really won't leave you alone then I would take quick action and nip this in the bud to remove him from your life.. Try a text that basically says to leave you alone and to never contact you again or your will seek legal action to have him stop... I'm definitely not going to change my number just because of one guy! Oh yeah, I know.. even women are like that. They tend to read too much into a text message!! I was blunt in my text.... Legal action? I would love to get a legal action against his mother!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lyssa Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 I guess the 'Let's just be friends' or 'I think of you as a brother.' probably won't work at this point... Just tell him flat out you are not comfortable communicating with him and wish him the best. Come on! Get some guts! Errmm nope! That ain't gonna work! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lyssa Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 Can you blame him? You're gorgeous, you give good advice...and you are too kind to give him the swift kick in the nuts he deserves. Oppath, you're too kind! Thanks... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lyssa Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 So after I posted this thread, I logged off. He was still calling me. I woke up this morning and read his text. He wants me to meet him. He wants to talk and clear things up. I told him I have meetings and castings to go to so won't be able to meet him today. Of course, he asked if tomorrow would be better for me. Okay guys, do you think he would comprehend it much better if I told him in person how happy I am now? I do not want to hurt him but I don't see any other way. Here's the thing, the hurt he caused me sometimes resurface and I hate that. I don't see him as THE guy anymore - that was way over but the wound, it is still there. I bottled it up, didn't tell him how hurt I was although he could see it. Omg - I should just let him have it, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 If he won't stop texting you then I would suggest either blocking his number or changing your cell number.. Sometimes a guy can grab a hold of something small like the fact you reply to his texts as a chance to get you back. If he really won't leave you alone then I would take quick action and nip this in the bud to remove him from your life.. Try a text that basically says to leave you alone and to never contact you again or your will seek legal action to have him stop... This is my advice.... Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 He wants me to meet him. Don't do this unless you want to get back with him... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lyssa Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 Why meeting him would make want to get back with him? Link to post Share on other sites
boredmommy Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 He lets his mother dictate his life - that was what caused him to break it off with me. run away as fast as you can! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lyssa Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 I have ran away. Actually he ran away from me first and years later, got over him and I ran away real fast!!! LOL. Link to post Share on other sites
Blurple Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 After 3 to 4 years and he wants you back!!!... sounds like to me that he is only trying this hard because he is feeling rejection and doesn't want to be alone.. I am wondering if he was recently dumped and is seeking you as his "comfort zone?" If so then you need to let him know what his problem is because at this point his emotions are blinding him. Link to post Share on other sites
oppath Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 Oppath, you're too kind! Thanks... This is the 2nd time tonight an attractive woman has said this to me. If he wants to meet, tell him "I don't feel it is appropriate to meet with ex's unless my boyfriend gets to meet the guy. Do you mind if my boyfriend comes too?" Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lyssa Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 We have always been somewhat close during those years and I have helped in him hooking up with some girls but they don't always end up being long term. He always seems to find something 'off' about a girl. He hasn't seen anyone exclusively ever since he broke up with me so I don't think he was recently dumped. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lyssa Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 This is the 2nd time tonight an attractive woman has said this to me. Because you are!!! I bet you get that a lot from attractive women... like you got those numbers sitting around in cafes? If he wants to meet, tell him "I don't feel it is appropriate to meet with ex's unless my boyfriend gets to meet the guy. Do you mind if my boyfriend comes too?" I wish my BF could come but seeing that he lives thousands of miles away from me, don't think that can happen!! Link to post Share on other sites
Blurple Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 We have always been somewhat close during those years and I have helped in him hooking up with some girls but they don't always end up being long term. He always seems to find something 'off' about a girl. He hasn't seen anyone exclusively ever since he broke up with me so I don't think he was recently dumped. The situation has sounded like you have been close. I feel that there is a deeper reason why he wants to get back so bad all the sudden. My guess... He sees you as being happier than him. Just be careful, I believe there are unsavory emotions motivating him to make this move. But on the other hand you don't care.......... I would at least be curious thats just me tho Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lyssa Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 He should just be happy for me! I have been supportive of his short-term relationships I feel a bit scared! I don't feel good about all this actually. Why all of a sudden now, you know... Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 Don't go Lyssa. What will opening this can of worms achieve for YOU? Nothing. It will re-open old wounds, it will make you feel uncomfortable, it will make him think he has a chance with you again, which will make it even more complicated for you to extricate yourself. You have moved on, and he needs to do the same. I suggest you drop him a call or a text saying something like "Hey, I don't think meeting up is a good idea, I don't want to re-visit the past, take care, and good luck for the future." This is what I would say if my exBF wanted to meet up with me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lyssa Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 Well, people - thank you so much for your advice.... I just finished my casting and texted me saying that I won't be able to meet up since I will be busy for the next few weeks. He hasn't replied so I guess that's that. If he replies later, I'll just tell him off. I don't think I can be friends anymore with him if he can't just stay friends with me! Link to post Share on other sites
Krytie TV Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 I just finished my casting and texted me saying that I won't be able to meet up since I will be busy for the next few weeks. He hasn't replied so I guess that's that. You seem to be unwilling to close the door on him. The fact that you can't tell him you won't meet with him because you simply don't want to means that you want to leave the door open. Why is it so difficult for you to say the words "because I don't care" to him? Making excuses is being evasive. Is that intentional? You give all indications that you don't want to make this final with him, why? Link to post Share on other sites
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