matius Posted April 22, 2003 Share Posted April 22, 2003 Up until this point I've never had a problem getting through to this girl. I called Sunday and left a message, she called me back while I was in class on Monday...so I called one more time and left a message that evening. Should I just use this as an opportunity to test her interest level in me? I certainly don't want to try calling again as this would make me look too anxious. I think if she calls back it means something. Your thoughts on this type of situation? Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted April 22, 2003 Share Posted April 22, 2003 it's polite to return phone calls, so that's all you can tell by whether or not she returns your call again. -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 22, 2003 Share Posted April 22, 2003 I almost never leave phone messages. By doing so, you give all the power over your business to the other person. I call intermittently until they answer and I can talk to them. She's already returned your phone call one time...and perhaps more and didn't leave a message. If she's got any brains, she won't play the frustrating phone tag game. It will be up to you to find her home if you want to talk to her. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted April 22, 2003 Share Posted April 22, 2003 Sometimes, people don't pick up the phone because they're busy (but at home), and then if the calls go on and on and on, it becomes quite annoying. I have a friend who does that - if I don't pick up, he'll call every 15-20 mins or so, - as many times as it takes for me to pick up. He always tells me he doesn't like leaving msgs, but man - I'd much prefer he did, and I could call him back when I'm free. So messages have their benefits. Btw, I think the ideal way is to ask the person what time is a good time to call them; you can even ask them in your message: if you don't catch me, plz let me know what time I can reach you. that's my 2 cents, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Author matius Posted April 23, 2003 Author Share Posted April 23, 2003 Thanks, I might try that yes. She IM'd me on today saying she was sorry she had missed the phone call. I asked her if she would be around later because I was in the middle of something. She said sure. I changed my mind and called her 10 minutes later because I figured she was there. No answer, I didn't leave a message. Tried back one more time a couple hours later...No answer, no message. I think she knew it was me so I might try her again Thursday if I don't hear from her. I'm trying very hard to not think this is an elaborate game. I've read too many posts now that say by calling her I lose the power- maybe that is ridiculous. Of course, I know it ain't right to call a million times for sure. I also don't think that I should be sweating the small stuff like this. I haven't even really gotten to know her all that well. So I'll try and focus on getting into a relationship and worry less about the damn phone...I think I like this kid alright so these articles are making me paranoid. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted April 23, 2003 Share Posted April 23, 2003 yeah, don't worry too much. Calling a lot isn't a bad thing, as long as it isn't a predictable pattern, and you make the calls short. I have a guy who calls often, but he says at most 5 sentences per call, so it doesn't feel like too much, but his presence is known. good luck, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Author matius Posted April 25, 2003 Author Share Posted April 25, 2003 Calling a lot isn't a bad thing, as long as it isn't a predictable pattern, and you make the calls short. I guess this is right. I give up on this one though. I can't understand it, here is someone who listens to the same music as me, had good convo and lots in common- and I'm back to square one with dating. After our little game of phone tag, I IM her to find out she has a new cell number. She gives it to me, I call her and all is well...I ask her out for icecream- she says she has to get bills out of the way, it'll be like an hour. I make her laugh online inbetween- she then calls me back and she says she is having problems with her Internet, the cell keeps hanging up as well so I have to call her back each time- this happened on the first go of calls as well. So, when the phone shut down for the last time I decided to have the convo on IM. I tell her man, sounds like you need a drink- or, let me steal you from this for an hour. I wouldn't of said anything except she didn't tell me she didn't want to go out. After that, she sets her status to away for about thirty minutes or so...so that's a digital cold shoulder if I've ever. BTW, it's getting late- it's been well over 1 1/2 since things were to be moving along. I called her (she won't pick up now), the second time leaving a message saying something to the effect of what happened to you? If you don't want to hang just let me know, call me if something huge went down, if not blah blah this is an ultimatum. Not in a harsh tone at all - more inquisitive-- she never called back or nothing. I'm sure I came off as looking like I was calling so much and all that... Man, I really thought this girl was of close disposition- Like a fate tease. SUx- It ain't easy. Link to post Share on other sites
PamelaMcCoy Posted April 25, 2003 Share Posted April 25, 2003 Save your dignity. By you calling her over and over again, she has the upper hand of being "chased." Try turning the table. If she wants to call you back, she will. If not, you have saved face. Link to post Share on other sites
Author matius Posted April 25, 2003 Author Share Posted April 25, 2003 You see, I think like you. Except people are trying to tell me that I acted like a prick to this girl by doing what I did. I understand that I might have pressured her or bugged the sh;t out of her by trying to get her to come out with me before I met my friends, but she annoyed me by not giving me a solid answer to my request for her time. We've seen each other a couple of times- and I just think that if she really wanted to see me, she'd make time- it'd be easy. Or if she was truly busy and had things going on, instead of letting me hang- she'd tell me another time guy, another time I'm busy...or, give me some more time and I'll go...I just felt high and dry... So, now I have the impression that I blew it, even though I'm not at all controlling, demanding or clingy > I look like these things. I plan on moving on of course and meeting other people- not try to worry about this one case...but would it be stupid to make any attempt to contact her to let her know I wasn't trying to come off like I did- or just let this one slowly slip away into the past...Or is that pathetic and an abundant loss of face Link to post Share on other sites
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