Don't laugh, but... love spells ??

[Kasan]

Right now I'm in a relationship by myself. She checked out. I want to check her back in. I cannot, thus I failed.

 

I think that you are being way to hard on yourself. You didn't fail...you just can't heal people that are broken. They need to heal themselves.

 

Maybe she will snap out of it and see you the way you want to be seen. But know if that happens she brings a lot of stuff to the table.

 

I wouldn't use a love potion on anyone either. I would always wonder if I was loved for me or was it because of a love potion.

[Trialbyfire]

Krying, you've been at this for a long, long, long time. As you can see, your methodology isn't helping you. Perhaps it's time to try something that really works.

 

Here's my position on things:

 

Personal strength is what I always advocate. You've got a number of ways you can handle this:

 

1. Continue appealing to her in a constructive manner and hope she comes back to you. This doesn't include love spells, voodoo or stalking.

 

2. Control yourself and work on setting yourself free from a trap of your own making.

 

You cannot control someone else. You cannot make anyone want to be with you or love you in return. Better to utilize those emotions for more constructive actions such as building your own self-respect. In building self-respect, it doesn't mean you build on your selfishness.

 

Also, if you need to vent, I'm not going to criticize if you choose to vent on her, as long as it's in a non-physical manner.

[Krying]

Trial you speak with reason. I'm totally out of it at the moment. The realization that things are indeed over for good is not a happy moment.

 

How can I not love this girl. I turned it on, now I have to turn it off. Horrible feeling.

[Trialbyfire]

She's beautiful, Krying. Put those pictures away until you can look at them in an impassioned manner, okay?

[LoveDeluxe78]

Yeah, she's gorgeous. But just a thought...have you considered perhaps she wouldn't like her photos being shown to strangers who now know a bit of the story of your breakup? I don't know, it's just me, but I wouldn't like my ex showing pictures of me on a message board nor would I do that to him as well. I have spoken about our breakup numerous times on here, but I wouldn't ever show his picture out of respect for his privacy.

 

In some ways, I can understand how you're feeling, but I think you're approach to it is extreme and very unhealthy.

 

I, too, broke up with my ex, but they were merely words expressed, since he had pretty much checked out of the relationship months before. I too thought I was a good influence on his life. While he was a grad student and very successful at what he was studying, he was an alcoholic and started doing speed on the weekends again with his buddies. They were always pulling him away from me, and he chose them over me. He was always cold and detached, and his parents were neglectful when he was growing up so I always sensed this emotional void in him, and I thought I could be this wonderful influence in his life, and "save him" in some ways. But he pushed me away and after feeling rejected and hurt, I decided to end the relationship. I'm still dealing with the pain of the breakup, but I know in my heart he was not the right one for me.

 

You can only do so much, but in the end, it's not your place to force on her what's right and wrong for her.

 

When I was 23 and partying every night and living a somewhat reckless lifestyle, an ex (not the one mentioned above) thought he could bring stability into my life by wanting to marry me and keeping me at his side at all times. I felt suffocated because it wasn't what I wanted. Furthermore I felt insulted that he would want to control me and had the audacity to tell me what was right or wrong for me. So I dropped him, fast!

 

I've been in both situations and I understand it can be difficult! What I've learned from all this is that you can't force someone to change or even see your perspective if they don't want to.

 

Let her go live her life, and if she wants to return to you, she will! If not, then so be it! Spiritually, it's selfish to hold onto someone who doesn't want to be there.

 

I don't know about the validity of love spells or what not, but I find that completely extreme, and if you were to do so, why not ask that both you and her find happiness, and that even if that meant not being with you, then so be it. This would show that you unconditionally love her and want the best for her, even if it were not to be with you.

[Krying]

Yeah, she's gorgeous. But just a thought...have you considered perhaps she wouldn't like her photos being shown to strangers who now know a bit of the story of your breakup? I don't know, it's just me, but I wouldn't like my ex showing pictures of me on a message board nor would I do that to him as well. I have spoken about our breakup numerous times on here, but I wouldn't ever show his picture out of respect for his privacy.

 

In some ways, I can understand how you're feeling, but I think you're approach to it is extreme and very unhealthy.

 

I, too, broke up with my ex, but they were merely words expressed, since he had pretty much checked out of the relationship months before. I too thought I was a good influence on his life. While he was a grad student and very successful at what he was studying, he was an alcoholic and started doing speed on the weekends again with his buddies. They were always pulling him away from me, and he chose them over me. He was always cold and detached, and his parents were neglectful when he was growing up so I always sensed this emotional void in him, and I thought I could be this wonderful influence in his life, and "save him" in some ways. But he pushed me away and after feeling rejected and hurt, I decided to end the relationship. I'm still dealing with the pain of the breakup, but I know in my heart he was not the right one for me.

 

You can only do so much, but in the end, it's not your place to force on her what's right and wrong for her.

 

When I was 23 and partying every night and living a somewhat reckless lifestyle, an ex (not the one mentioned above) thought he could bring stability into my life by wanting to marry me and keeping me at his side at all times. I felt suffocated because it wasn't what I wanted. Furthermore I felt insulted that he would want to control me and had the audacity to tell me what was right or wrong for me. So I dropped him, fast!

 

I've been in both situations and I understand it can be difficult! What I've learned from all this is that you can't force someone to change or even see your perspective if they don't want to.

 

Let her go live her life, and if she wants to return to you, she will! If not, then so be it! Spiritually, it's selfish to hold onto someone who doesn't want to be there.

 

I don't know about the validity of love spells or what not, but I find that completely extreme, and if you were to do so, why not ask that both you and her find happiness, and that even if that meant not being with you, then so be it. This would show that you unconditionally love her and want the best for her, even if it were not to be with you.

 

I thought it wouldn't make any difference, but you're right it wouldn't be nice for her if she knew I had made those photos public, so I've taken them down.

 

I know it's over. My head and her actions tell me quite clearly it's over. My heart is yearning for her. I haven't done anything stupid so far. Although I just want to pickup the phone and hear her voice, I know I can't now. I thought I'd be stronger at this point than I am. I know I will feel better in time. That's not what I'm freaking out about. It's that I don't know if I will ever find someone who made me feel the way she did, and the way I felt about her.

 

In my previous relationship to this one, after I got over the pain and started putting myself out there, I wanted someone who was nothing like my old ex. Right now, I don't feel that way. Right now, I not only want this girl back, if not, I want someone just like her. Not gonna happen. I have to keep my eyes open to all possibilities but not only did I lose this girl, I've lost the future life we could have shared together. And with each person you have a relationship with, no two are the same. I liked my future with this person. I can't force that onto the next person I meet. Thus I must try and accept a new future with someone else.

 

Very humbling and sad feelings going on with me right now.

[LoveDeluxe78]

I thought it wouldn't make any difference, but you're right it wouldn't be nice for her if she knew I had made those photos public, so I've taken them down.

 

I know it's over. My head and her actions tell me quite clearly it's over. My heart is yearning for her. I haven't done anything stupid so far. Although I just want to pickup the phone and hear her voice, I know I can't now. I thought I'd be stronger at this point than I am. I know I will feel better in time. That's not what I'm freaking out about. It's that I don't know if I will ever find someone who made me feel the way she did, and the way I felt about her.

 

In my previous relationship to this one, after I got over the pain and started putting myself out there, I wanted someone who was nothing like my old ex. Right now, I don't feel that way. Right now, I not only want this girl back, if not, I want someone just like her. Not gonna happen. I have to keep my eyes open to all possibilities but not only did I lose this girl, I've lost the future life we could have shared together. And with each person you have a relationship with, no two are the same. I liked my future with this person. I can't force that onto the next person I meet. Thus I must try and accept a new future with someone else.

 

Very humbling and sad feelings going on with me right now.

 

Congrats, now you're starting to express very NORMAL feelings! This is all normal, this feeling of missing the ex, and with each and every ex, the feelings are a bit different, so with this one, you were hoping there was going to be a life together and you want her. I completely understand. I find myself looking at guys I see who resemble my ex, but you have to understand there was something about your previous relationship that just WASN'T working, whether it was not working for her or for you. I sometimes do think, gee, my ex gave up a good thing and if he could only open his Frickin eyes and see how good I was for him, but you know, now I just have to laugh it off!

 

You shouldn't TRY and ACCEPT a future with someone else. No one wants to feel that someone is only with them because they are TRYING and ACCEPTING them. My advice to you, and for myself, is to heal ourselves and get over this past relationship. Give thanks that we were able to meet these people who have taught us some valuable lessons in life, whether we know it now or not, and to love the single life again! Only then can you then one day meet a girl who you won't just TRY to ACCEPT, but who will blow your mind! And you will hers too! So hang in there, and continue to work on getting better. It will take time, but No Contact really is the best approach!

 

Best of Luck!!!

[Krying]

Congrats, now you're starting to express very NORMAL feelings! This is all normal, this feeling of missing the ex, and with each and every ex, the feelings are a bit different, so with this one, you were hoping there was going to be a life together and you want her. I completely understand. I find myself looking at guys I see who resemble my ex, but you have to understand there was something about your previous relationship that just WASN'T working, whether it was not working for her or for you. I sometimes do think, gee, my ex gave up a good thing and if he could only open his Frickin eyes and see how good I was for him, but you know, now I just have to laugh it off!

 

You shouldn't TRY and ACCEPT a future with someone else. No one wants to feel that someone is only with them because they are TRYING and ACCEPTING them. My advice to you, and for myself, is to heal ourselves and get over this past relationship. Give thanks that we were able to meet these people who have taught us some valuable lessons in life, whether we know it now or not, and to love the single life again! Only then can you then one day meet a girl who you won't just TRY to ACCEPT, but who will blow your mind! And you will hers too! So hang in there, and continue to work on getting better. It will take time, but No Contact really is the best approach!

 

Best of Luck!!!

 

What I said may have come out wrong. I didn't do anything in this relationship accept accept her for who she was. There was no trying. It just happened and I fell for her in a hard way. I was not looking for her, we just came to be. What I mean by try and accept, is that in any future relationship, since this one meant so much to me, I hope it equals or surpasses it. If it's not as good, no doubt I'll be thinking of this girl and not who I am with at the time. Do I try and accept that, or leave that person and move onto someone else.

[XxBacktoBlackXx]

You shouldn't TRY and ACCEPT a future with someone else. No one wants to feel that someone is only with them because they are TRYING and ACCEPTING them. My advice to you, and for myself, is to heal ourselves and get over this past relationship. Give thanks that we were able to meet these people who have taught us some valuable lessons in life, whether we know it now or not, and to love the single life again!

 

I think this is great advice. We need to try and love this new life we've been given.

[LoveDeluxe78]

What I said may have come out wrong. I didn't do anything in this relationship accept accept her for who she was. There was no trying. It just happened and I fell for her in a hard way. I was not looking for her, we just came to be. What I mean by try and accept, is that in any future relationship, since this one meant so much to me, I hope it equals or surpasses it. If it's not as good, no doubt I'll be thinking of this girl and not who I am with at the time. Do I try and accept that, or leave that person and move onto someone else.

 

Well that's why you need to work on yourself until you get to a point where you are TRULY over her, so there's not even that comparing anymore. You will just see that new person for who they are, just like you did with her, and then decide whether you want to be with this new person on their own "merits". Do you see what I'm saying? But to get there, you have to truly work on getting over the ex and this last relationship. Only then can you truly be happy, whether it be with someone else, or by yourself.

[Medea]

Krying I am too new to know how to PM you, I suck It sounds like you are on the right track and coming to some acceptance. The truth is making someone do your will is not the right way to go, its crosses the line considered "good" magick. When I was new at witchcraft , I tried it 9 years ago, it was a mistake. I broke up with him after several years and I still feel the repercussions of this on an almost daily basis. That was 3 years ago. To me it means playing with fire....if you need more of an explanation PM me an I can tell you why. Take care.

[Krying]

Medea, click on the "My Profile / CP" link, then "Edit Options", then scroll down and you'll see a checkbox that says "Enable Private Messaging". Click that and then scroll down the bottom of the page and click "Save Changes". That should enable PMs for you.

[Krying]

Hi all. There's a slight possibility my ex will be at a party this evening. I didn't want to go, but friends have told me to buck up and go. Ooh, and to no look so glum. That's a tough one. I wear my feelings on my sleeve and have little of a poker face.

 

I both want to see my ex and also want to avoid her. For to simply see her again. But not to because she will no doubt be able to detect how I'm feeling. I can try and fake looking happy, but the truth is I'm not. Happiness comes from inside for some of us and it manifests in our actions, especially our faces.

 

I don't know how to behave if she's going to be there. I will do my best to not look at her, make eye contact and so on. And especially I won't talk to her. And that mutual "friend" who betrayed me will probably be there as well. I'd love to go up to her and rip her a few words, but that would only show that I was affected by what she and my ex spoke about.

 

I'm reading all these win your ex girlfriend back books and they say one of the biggest ways to get them back and or to move on is, to start dating again. Work the jealousy thing or meet someone new fast. I'm not that type of person, so I think I can rule that stuff out.

[sb129]

As much as you claim to love this girl I just don't see it. You don't like her habits and you want to change them but thats who she is. It seems to me you want to get her, change her to your ideals, and then keep her locked up with you forever. Anyways.. in the end it comes down to this : When a person truly wants to be with you, there is nothing that will hold them back.

 

You keep saying how 'perfect' and ' happy' you both were but clearly that is not the case because she left.

.

 

This is what I think too. It seems to me that you feel she owes it to you to stay with you because you "helped" her so much.

 

When I was 23 and partying every night and living a somewhat reckless lifestyle, an ex (not the one mentioned above) thought he could bring stability into my life by wanting to marry me and keeping me at his side at all times. I felt suffocated because it wasn't what I wanted. Furthermore I felt insulted that he would want to control me and had the audacity to tell me what was right or wrong for me. So I dropped him, fast!

.

 

I have been in a R like this too. My exBF wanted to "help" me, to "fix" me, but in return I had to lose my friends, my lifestyle etc etc. It became so suffocating and demoralising I had to leave. I never looked back, and I still get the creeps when i think about how controlling he was.

 

 

Krying- don't go to the party with the sole intention of trying to make your ex jealous, it will backfire on you.

 

If you think you will have difficulty either a) behaving in a rational calm way or b) relaxing and having a good time, I wouldn't bother going.

 

It could set you back from healing.

[Krying]

This is what I think too. It seems to me that you feel she owes it to you to stay with you because you "helped" her so much.

 

 

 

I have been in a R like this too. My exBF wanted to "help" me, to "fix" me, but in return I had to lose my friends, my lifestyle etc etc. It became so suffocating and demoralising I had to leave. I never looked back, and I still get the creeps when i think about how controlling he was.

 

 

Krying- don't go to the party with the sole intention of trying to make your ex jealous, it will backfire on you.

 

If you think you will have difficulty either a) behaving in a rational calm way or b) relaxing and having a good time, I wouldn't bother going.

 

It could set you back from healing.

 

The only thing I feel she owes me is some kindness. An explanation would go a long was as well.

 

I didn't change any of her habits. I came to love her for who she was. But she either changed or hadn't displayed this side of her towards the end. I never told her to not do anything, nor was I in a position to dictate how she acted. I didn't control her in the slightest.

 

I'm not going to the party to make her jealous, I'm going due to the insistence of friends saying I need to go. I don't want to go, but I can't hide anymore either.

[sb129]

This is a catch 22, because if she DOES show you any kindness, you will likely misinterpret it as her wanting to get back with you, therefore its probably easier for her to do the NC thing.

 

Why do your friends say you need to go? If its going to be an unpleasant experience for you, then don't go.

[Krying]

I can understand that sb129 concerning showing kindness. However, there surely is a middle ground.

 

Of course I want to see my ex. I just don't want her to feel any vibes from me. And at this point, my love,care,hopes and other such things are still very strong.

 

As far as going to this thing, well I could sit in my house, sleep, mope and do nothing, or I could try and put on a brave face and show everyone and the ex, that I am not effected by this all. But I know I'll probably fail miserably. Misery loves company, so what do I have to lose.

[sb129]

If its that much of an effort to show everyone you aren't affected, then why bother?

 

Why not do something else, like go to a movie (not a romance, obviously).

 

I just think its a little too soon for you to be faced with your ex at a party, and I don't think it will be good for you to go, as it could potentially be a setback.

[Ariadne]

Hey Krying,

 

I've had a blast reading your posts, I think you are really cool.

 

I'm being serious when I ask, has anyone actually dabbled in this?

 

LOL This thread is funny.

 

Yeah! I've tried that, three times and it didn't work!

 

1) I was in love with this guy that I was miserable about. I had a relationship with him for a year and we had broken up and I had moved to South Am to live with my parents in order to forget him. A tragedy.

 

So every single day I went to check the mail and nothing, or run to pick up the phone and nothing.

 

So I found this witch guy's ad somewhere, called on the phone and went there... to his house. I thought I was going to get killed or raped or something, but he was nice. (Gotta have courage in love)

 

It was some young guy dressed in white, like satin. I told him the story and and he lit up some candle and it "flickered"! So that was awesome, the spirit was with me or some and that the guy'll come back.

 

He told me that I was lucky also that soon it was going to be the day of the Iemanja (Voodoo Sea Goddess) and that he was going to do the work for me.

 

It wasn't going to cost too much (say like 10 dollars over there) and he had to get some candles and stuff.

 

I went back again (now we were friends) and he proceeded to do some ceremony with me where he asked me to lift my shirt and he tied a ribbon around my waist, all for love...

 

Then the guy kept asking me to lift the shirt, and lift the shirt, he was about to see my nipples so I kept resisting and the guy insisting to lift(wth?) and I see that he has this big erection with the satin white pants. Omg.

 

Ok, then I didn't like it very much, like the guy wasn't serious, but I was hoping it'd all turn out for the best. He told me to write the name of the guy in the candle with my name and some such, and that he was going to "send it in the ocean" because, you know, water unites it all. That I'll hear from the guy within a week.

 

Ok... Till this day I never heard from that guy again.

 

2) A friend of mine knew some witch that she said was "really good" and got her back together with some ex bf. She wanted a ride to see that guy so I went along with her.

 

When I was there I asked the witch to do some spell for me to "get a boyfriend". No guy in particular, just any bf. He told me that if he was younger and single he'd be my bf, which was nice.

 

So he took me to this room fuuull of saints and candles and stuff. He was Cuban and did some Voodoo thing again. So he first rolled some sea shells on a carpet where we sat, and asked some questions. Everything was favorable, cool, I'll find love in no time.

 

Then he took a sip of this alcoholic beverage and spit it on the fire of the candles, some sparks there, and spit it on some black cloth dolls. Those were "the blacks" and according to him the spirits of the blacks had said yes, that they were going to help me find a bf.

 

When it all was done, I paid him 20 dollars and left.

 

That was 4 years ago and I'm still waiting..

 

3) I was talking to Denver guy via email every day, and he told me shortly after that he still had a crush on his ex gf. The ex gf practices wicca, paganism, occult sciences, and magic.

 

So I figured that if he was "so" in love with her she probably put some spell on him (if it worked or not I don't know, but I'm sure she did).

 

So, I got the newspaper and found some ads for "cleansings" and stuff like that, and went on the road to see some. The idea was to bring Denver guy's picture for them to "cleanse him" and leave him in neutral or some.

 

I went to the first one and she told me that he was completely tied up. That she had to do this enormous job to detangle him that was going to cost some 700 dollars. And that I was horrifically cursed as well.

 

Ok, that was kind of freaky. She said that I had to bring her three eggs for a start, and the reason it was expensive was because she had to buy these "huge" candles like the pillars you see in church for that kind of work. Ok, too expensive.

 

So I left and went to the second one.

 

The second one told me something similar. That he was "completely tied op" and cursed and what not by the ex gf. And that she had to do a lot of work but that it might not even be worth it because he only liked me as a friend.

 

She read the cards for me and said that, so since it was a donation I gave her 5 dollars and thanked her.

 

So I went to the third one.

 

This one the moment she saw Denver guy's picture she told me "he's your soulmate." Really?? Yes! How do you know? She looked at me kind of mad and said, I've been doing this for 25 years. Oh.. cool.

 

Then she looked at my palm and said that I was going to live to be 80. I didn't even smile so she repeated herself. Somewhat I didn't believe her because I think I'm going to die next month or so all the time.

 

And as most of you know, Denver guy got engaged with the ex gf.

 

---

 

Anyway, those were my experiences with those people. Not sure if I went to the wrong ones or if it just wasn't meant to be.

 

I heard though of some really famous ones in the jungle of Peru. Those ones everything they do happens. I saw it on tv. So, you can try them.

 

Good luck,

 

Ariadne

[woodsfield]

Love Spells?

 

Vodka always worked for me;)

[Krying]

Wow, I feel so good right now I want to walk in front of a bus. So much for Thanksgiving. I have nothing to be thankful for. After going out to that party last night and finding out my ex wasn't there, I felt I was getting it together. On rolls the Thanksgiving get together up here in Canada. I was dead set against going to a friends house as I had a feeling the ex would be there. Sure enough she was, and was with that girl who I mentioned previously had betrayed my trust. I put on a brace face and smiled and did my best. I felt like ****, but soldiered on. My ex seemed to be rubbing it in almost, joking around with other guys like she used to with me, and acting like she hadn't a care in the world. She even walked right past me and purposely not only didn't look at me, but turned the other was as well. I never made any attempts to be near here or speak with her. It got too much in the end and I had to leave. I simply couldn't stand seeing her. Some friends pleaded with me to not leave, but I was out of there.

 

If there was ever a time when it was clear this girl didn't give a rats ass about me, then it's now. And what do I do? Like the stupid wussy I am, I couldn't take it and left. I walked a good hour and a bit home swearing I would somehow make her jealous or whatever stupid people think in times like that.