sarme Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 OW, you seemed smarter than that. That "piece of paper" represents so much, it's amazing to me that you can't see it. It represents the commitment and responsibility spouses have to each other and it's a legally binding contract, which, practically speaking, carries a whole lot of weight. But so long as you're happy, that's all that matters, right? Yeah I know it is the peice of paper that carries the BS like a death trap around even after they put on over 200lbs, it does carry a lot of weight! :lmao: Couldn't resist that joke it was just so obvious. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jinnah Posted October 6, 2007 Author Share Posted October 6, 2007 Do you actually believe what you've just written? How many couples do you know that got married very young? You think that they were thinking ahead 10 or 20 years? People can't see the future...so they make the most of what they have to work with at the time... Yeah and then when they "change their minds" they need to get a divorce instead of hurting their spouse this way/ putting theit lives at risk! Consequences or not, they can get a divorce. The spouse shouldn't have to pay and should be in a relationship only after making an informed choice. I bet more mistresses would give the ultimatum "me or her" but they already know the outcome. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jinnah Posted October 6, 2007 Author Share Posted October 6, 2007 Yeah I know it is the peice of paper that carries the BS like a death trap around even after they put on over 200lbs, it does carry a lot of weight! :lmao: Couldn't resist that joke it was just so obvious. So your love is physical? Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 Yeah and then when they "change their minds" they need to get a divorce instead of hurting their spouse this way/ putting theit lives at risk! Consequences or not, they can get a divorce. The spouse shouldn't have to pay and should be in a relationship only after making an informed choice. I bet more mistresses would give the ultimatum "me or her" but they already know the outcome. You know, I'm starting to wonder what your purpose is here... You say you're very happily married, but you are always picking fights with "mistresses"... You don't want to give support or encouragment or even develop an understanding...It's more like you want to hear yourself say the same things over and over...Why? You came on scene with your guns blazing, attacking every OW who fell into your path...I am really curious as to why somone who is so happy with their life would feel the need to put others down just to get their kicks? But maybe I'm missing something... Link to post Share on other sites
sarme Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 Yeah and then when they "change their minds" they need to get a divorce instead of hurting their spouse this way/ putting theit lives at risk! Consequences or not, they can get a divorce. The spouse shouldn't have to pay and should be in a relationship only after making an informed choice. I bet more mistresses would give the ultimatum "me or her" but they already know the outcome. Life is not about "ultimatums" not too many people react postitively to ultimatums. It is the surefire way to chase someone away actually. Some people do confront their spouses about the affair or it gets found out and ome betrayed spouses will fight tooth and nail to keep their betraying spouses if only to not let the OP have them. I know because that is exactly what happened in my case. He could see right though her crocodile tears and when he went back to try to salvage the marriage in one of his knew jerk reaction and out of pitty for her, he soon realised that it was never going to work. People don't change, especially people that have been stuck in a certain way of being pretty much since they first met. Some women don't even want to keep their H's they just want to make sure the OW doesn get him. When someone is betrayed they act out of their own selfish reasons, love has very little to do with it in my books. I doubt you feel much "love"once you know the person you thought cared about you stabbed you in the heart. There is no love there, and before the affair I doubt there was either otherwise their Hs would not have fallen in love with someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
sarme Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 So your love is physical? ...of course it is, and it is also cerebral and emotional and spirtual. Is that not what love is? Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 Some people do confront their spouses about the affair or it gets found out and ome betrayed spouses will fight tooth and nail to keep their betraying spouses if only to not let the OP have them. That is so true in a lot of cases... Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 Ultimatums are for sad pathetic people... Link to post Share on other sites
Impudent Oyster Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 That is so true in a lot of cases... But most BW's throw the WS out, and he begs for forgiveness while throwing the OP under the bus. Do you all EVER read the infidelity boards? I've yet to see a BS stay with a WS that doesn't want to be with them. I've never seen it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jinnah Posted October 6, 2007 Author Share Posted October 6, 2007 You know, I'm starting to wonder what your purpose is here... You say you're very happily married, but you are always picking fights with "mistresses"... You don't want to give support or encouragment or even develop an understanding...It's more like you want to hear yourself say the same things over and over...Why? You came on scene with your guns blazing, attacking every OW who fell into your path...I am really curious as to why somone who is so happy with their life would feel the need to put others down just to get their kicks? But maybe I'm missing something... If I say everything over and over, then why haven't you realized why I am on here? I want the mistresses (!) to realize that they are really hurting another woman out there and that is wrong, that they themselves deserve better than this, that the MM is a lying cheat, who isn't leaving his wife, that adultery is a sin, it destroys people lives (lots of the OW claim to care about the children, but they are the ones doing the destroying of a child's life along with the MP), etc... the list goes on. Also, I do have anger towards people who selfishly participate in affairs, not as a BS, but as a child who's family was destroyed b/c of an affair... even today (all these years later) it affects my life and the lives of my siblings. I have realized that everyone can talk "till their blue in the face", and the mistresses will never change. Link to post Share on other sites
Impudent Oyster Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 Yeah I know it is the peice of paper that carries the BS like a death trap around even after they put on over 200lbs, it does carry a lot of weight! :lmao: Couldn't resist that joke it was just so obvious. That was hilarious. To a 6 year old. Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 But most BW's throw the WS out, and he begs for forgiveness while throwing the OP under the bus. Do you all EVER read the infidelity boards? I've yet to see a BS stay with a WS that doesn't want to be with them. I've never seen it. Maybe you should mosey on over to SI then... There's lots of those scenarios over there... It'll be a real "eye-opener"... Link to post Share on other sites
Impudent Oyster Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 You know, I'm starting to wonder what your purpose is here... You say you're very happily married, but you are always picking fights with "mistresses"... You don't want to give support or encouragment or even develop an understanding...It's more like you want to hear yourself say the same things over and over...Why? You came on scene with your guns blazing, attacking every OW who fell into your path...I am really curious as to why somone who is so happy with their life would feel the need to put others down just to get their kicks? But maybe I'm missing something... Maybe she wonders how people can be so selfish to only care for themselves, never concerning themselves with who they're hurting or what child's home they're wrecking? Believe it or not, most people are absolutely fascinated by the pathology of people who can live their lives with complete disregard for others. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jinnah Posted October 6, 2007 Author Share Posted October 6, 2007 Life is not about "ultimatums" not too many people react postitively to ultimatums. It is the surefire way to chase someone away actually. Some people do confront their spouses about the affair or it gets found out and ome betrayed spouses will fight tooth and nail to keep their betraying spouses if only to not let the OP have them. I know because that is exactly what happened in my case. He could see right though her crocodile tears and when he went back to try to salvage the marriage in one of his knew jerk reaction and out of pitty for her, he soon realised that it was never going to work. People don't change, especially people that have been stuck in a certain way of being pretty much since they first met. Some women don't even want to keep their H's they just want to make sure the OW doesn get him. When someone is betrayed they act out of their own selfish reasons, love has very little to do with it in my books. I doubt you feel much "love"once you know the person you thought cared about you stabbed you in the heart. There is no love there, and before the affair I doubt there was either otherwise their Hs would not have fallen in love with someone else. Not having enough respect to have your own man is better than an ultimatum? Everyone puts a bad spin on ultimatums, but really it's having the courage to say, "Be with me (and me only) or I'm gone" and being able to accept the answer and move on if need be. You try to act as if this man is forced to stay in the M... he's not. He chooses to. If he went back, realized it was the same, then why's he still there. *You only know of his wife what he tells you... you can't possibly know whether they were crocodile tears. Link to post Share on other sites
Impudent Oyster Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 Maybe you should mosey on over to SI then... There's lots of those scenarios over there... It'll be a real "eye-opener"... I've BTDT, got my diploma, but 95% of the BS's there had WS that begged to be forgiven. I didn't see a single person who was hanging onto their WS ankles begging him not to leave... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jinnah Posted October 6, 2007 Author Share Posted October 6, 2007 Maybe she wonders how people can be so selfish to only care for themselves, never concerning themselves with who they're hurting or what child's home they're wrecking? Believe it or not, most people are absolutely fascinated by the pathology of people who can live their lives with complete disregard for others. Words of the wise. Well said, IO. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jinnah Posted October 6, 2007 Author Share Posted October 6, 2007 I've BTDT, got my diploma, but 95% of the BS's there had WS that begged to be forgiven. I didn't see a single person who was hanging onto their WS ankles begging him not to leave... :lmao: This is so true, but I'm giving up... they believe what they want to believe... I've grown bored with this! Link to post Share on other sites
NearlyThere Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 If I say everything over and over, then why haven't you realized why I am on here? I want the mistresses (!) to realize that they are really hurting another woman out there and that is wrong, that they themselves deserve better than this, that the MM is a lying cheat, who isn't leaving his wife, that adultery is a sin, it destroys people lives (lots of the OW claim to care about the children, but they are the ones doing the destroying of a child's life along with the MP), etc... the list goes on. Also, I do have anger towards people who selfishly participate in affairs, not as a BS, but as a child who's family was destroyed b/c of an affair... even today (all these years later) it affects my life and the lives of my siblings. I have realized that everyone can talk "till their blue in the face", and the mistresses will never change. Maybe no-one is taking notice of you because you are not posting anything new, everything you are posting is just old hat. Same old, same old, you want us to listen to you, but you wont listen to us. Give you another 2 months and you will start using the cookie cutter phrases that everyone else just loves to use. Link to post Share on other sites
NearlyThere Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 :lmao: This is so true, but I'm giving up... they believe what they want to believe... I've grown bored with this! Thats about the 4th time today you have said you are bored with this forum, on here and on the rant section, but you are still posting. Link to post Share on other sites
sarme Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 That was hilarious. To a 6 year old. Yeah and to anyone who doesn't weigh over 200lbs or to anyone who isn't grasping on to their cheating spouses with dear life via a peice of paper! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jinnah Posted October 6, 2007 Author Share Posted October 6, 2007 Thats about the 4th time today you have said you are bored with this forum, on here and on the rant section, but you are still posting. It's 1, 2, 3, 4... not 1, 4. :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 If I say everything over and over, then why haven't you realized why I am on here? I want the mistresses (!) to realize that they are really hurting another woman out there and that is wrong, that they themselves deserve better than this, that the MM is a lying cheat, who isn't leaving his wife, that adultery is a sin, it destroys people lives (lots of the OW claim to care about the children, but they are the ones doing the destroying of a child's life along with the MP), etc... the list goes on. Also, I do have anger towards people who selfishly participate in affairs, not as a BS, but as a child who's family was destroyed b/c of an affair... even today (all these years later) it affects my life and the lives of my siblings. I have realized that everyone can talk "till their blue in the face", and the mistresses will never change. I'm going to break it down for you... You are not going to suddenly wake anyone up...We are in our R's because we want to be...some of our R's are actual, normal R's (if there's such a thing)...I personally was mislead about my MM's status, I didn't know he was married...when I found out it had been over a year and I chose to stay...He is good to me, it is not what you are thinking an A is... I do feel it's unfortunate that he is married, but because of the way this board is, I will not give any more info because I don't like being attacked...I'll defend myself, my MM and my friends here... And I realize that religion is very important to you, but it's not the case for everyone...and I really believe in forgiveness as opposed to damnation... So I see that you feel that you are on a crusade (although I thought you were just bored from your comment on "Rant's") then you won't get many followers by being rude or mean or nasty or insulting...The way you get followers is to lead by example, to show that you are happy and then people want to be like you and have your happiness... But if you're mean and nasty, no one wants to be like that, so no one will listen...and your purpose is lost... But the real bottomline is that if it was just so easy as saying "Ok, I'm going to end my A today," there wouldn't be a need for this forum at all...So you can say everything you've been saying 1 million times and it will fall on deaf ears...This is about love which is something that is hard to erase... And if you get angry coming here, maybe you shouldn't come here...Life should be about being happy...Life's short, why live it unhappily? Why not make the most of it? And you can call me and the others a mistress until your blue in the face and it boils down to: who cares what you think? You're not my judge, you're not my boss, my mother, my friend or my lover... So, sticks and stones... Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 about BS and OW... it make me smile when I read things people say that makes it OK for them... for ex... when they're having an EA with someone but don't think it's an A...and it's OK... LOL because they are such good spouse....and they would never ever even think of other men/women... *cough* *cough* They have 'perfect' M...but are still having EA with other men/women... pathetic... really pathetic... I can say the same thing... it's OK.. it's only physical in my case...so it makes it OK.. no harm.. EA... PA.. IMO they're all the same... once someone takes your mind away from your partner...you are 'cheating' whether you want to admit it or not. Then this OP becomes your No. 1... because you can become 'obsessed' with this person... Humm.... Link to post Share on other sites
sarme Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 Not having enough respect to have your own man is better than an ultimatum? Everyone puts a bad spin on ultimatums, but really it's having the courage to say, "Be with me (and me only) or I'm gone" and being able to accept the answer and move on if need be. You try to act as if this man is forced to stay in the M... he's not. He chooses to. If he went back, realized it was the same, then why's he still there. *You only know of his wife what he tells you... you can't possibly know whether they were crocodile tears. I had my own man and didn't have to give and ultimatum, yes I had questions and stipulations but never ultimatums. And guess what he was mine even when he was still living with his W it was just a matter of time until we formalized the act. He's with me, not his ex. Why don't you actually read what I write instead of jumping to preconceived conclusions? Oh wait I forgot, you are just programmed to post tunnel vision thoughts. :laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 I've BTDT, got my diploma, but 95% of the BS's there had WS that begged to be forgiven. I didn't see a single person who was hanging onto their WS ankles begging him not to leave... Maybe you should put your glasses on then...there was one thread not that long ago with more than a few... One was that the BS was mad that the OW went on and had a happy life and she was stuck with her H... But there's no sense talking to someone who doesn't want to see... Link to post Share on other sites
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