I have no motivation to do anything until I lose my virginity

[iFinix]

I am 19 now and seeking a partner, but, I am OBSESSED with it and I can't focus on anything else. This is mainly because I am a virgin and I desperately want to experience sex. I have lost all motivation in college and work. I pretty much gave up on college recently. I even tried the online classes which was good at first (I completed four classes online), but even when I'm at home, I can't keep my mind off finding love.

 

At work, I used to be a very hard worker, but now that I'm in this slump, I never feel like being there and I always feel lazy and tired. I just want to cry. I almost had a girlfriend but I ruined it. This always happens because I am not normal I guess. Most people call one another and set up dates to meet each other, but I couldn't do it...even through text messages!!

 

Now you probably think I'm a pervert for mentioning my virginity in this post and for saying I want to lose it, but I'm telling the truth. Yes, some people live way past 19 as virgins because they want to, but that's just it, I don't want to. I wanna lose it now!!! I'm not religious at all. But I'm not saying I would just have sex with any random person either. I want a girlfriend who I can get to know for a bit, then we can have sex. That's all I want.

 

I need some direction. I need to know what I need to do in my life to get a girl. I've got shyness problems that hold me back!! What am I to do??

[Tony T]

You'll never get a girl until you get yourself together. Women can sense desperation miles away. Your first stop should be an excellent therapist who can help you with this obsession. Sex is nice but being preoccupied with losing your virginity to the extent of screwing up your life is pathological and must be dealt with immediately.

[norajane]

If you give up on college and work, where exactly do you expect to meet anyone? And what are you going to talk about since you don't do anything? And how will you ever grow beyond your shyness if you hide yourself away and don't put yourself out there with other people and learn that you really have nothing to fear?

 

Having a girlfriend requires that you have something in common and are compatible, as well as being attracted physically. You have to be a whole, well-rounded person with interests, education, and a job in order for people to be attracted to who you are as a person.

 

If you give up on your education, you're sentencing yourself to a lot of dead-end jobs. And consider, the confidence that you would attain from succeeding in school and work will make you less shy and more attractive to people.

[MexicanBillBacker]

Sex IMO is overrated

 

Ok it feels good but there's much better things to look forward than sex. Like actually connecting with someone sentimentally

 

That's leaps and bound better than having sex. Don't worry you are not missing out on anything

[quankanne]

two words: Boys Town. In Nuevo Laredo.

[Lunar Sonata]

Set low standards if you want laid so bad.

[iFinix]

I probably shouldn't have posted this thread considering I feel worse about myself after reading these replies.

 

Am I the bad guy or something? I sure as hell feel like one. Just another reason I want to lose it now.

 

I am not quitting school or work exactly, I simply can't function properly at them with girls on my mind. This will not end until I lose it.

 

No, I will not resort to prostitution.

 

I guess for some people finding a mate is so easy they can't comprehend anyone like me... well I guess I'm f***ed then (but not literally of course. I wish I was in that sense).

[Phateless]

craigslist

hotornot

clubs/frat parties

 

www.mysterymethod.com

 

get crackin, bro!!

 

edit - if you want to get laid, dropping out of school was a DUMB idea for two reasons

 

1 - there's hotties EVERYWHERE at university!!! wtf were you thinking?!

2 - being out of school/uneducated/having no direction is a giant turn-off for A LOT of women

 

you need find a positive routine for yourself and keep hammering away at it until you get the results you want. that's what i did after my breakup.

 

-lift weights twice a week. push yourself, HARD

-cardio twice a week

-take dance classes - just trust me, tons of girls there, you make friends and will get better at talking to women in general (i take salsa and swing lessons every week and i know a lot of girls from it)

-eat right and get plenty of sleep, except when you go partying of course

-new clothes/makeover

-GET YOUR ASS BACK IN SCHOOL!!!

 

it takes time, but this will pay off, i promise. remember that life is short, so don't waste time on fear, hesitation, or uncertainty. if you're goal oriented, women can smell that desperation on you and it makes them feel like you don't like THEM, but you just want to f*ck them. that turns them off.

 

just focus on meeting new people and don't bother to pursue or ask for her number unless you genuinely like her. believe me, people can tell the difference.

[Briggs55]

I No, I will not resort to prostitution.

 

It's good to read that . Look, when I was younger and I went out clubbing with the mindset of "Fu<k yeah, i'm getting laid tonight" it just didn't happen. Whereas if I just went out planning to have a good time, things would just fall into place. It's the same in regard to relationships, if you are desperate & seeking for one women can sense it. Also, what kind of a person are you, and where is your self-esteem, if in your opinion your self-worth is dependant on having sex? I think there are some deeper issues here than just losing your virginity. What do you think the reason is? Your personality? Looks?

[stillafool]

Set low standards if you want laid so bad.

 

I agree. If you want to get laid lower your standards. Chances are you are not going to meet the love of your life on the first try. Why not get some experience so you are a better lover when you do meet that special girl. I'm not saying use someone but there are horny girls out there who just want sex too.

[JCD]

Could it be that you find it easier to talk to a girl face to face? I'm like that. I only use phone to setup dates. Try calling this girl of yours and ask her to spend some time with you outside in a park. Just you two talking. Afterwards, take her to your local fast food place and buy her a meal. The point is to get to know her slowly. Have sex with her after you fall in love with her. Too many people, young and old, have sex before relationship and it rarely works out. Don't develop feelings for any girl until you are sure she has feelings for you.

[woodsfield]

i don't think your motivation for everything else has TOTALLY gone away. but this is obviously bothering you enough to quit school.

 

stay in school. find a study partner that is female and go from there. it took me until 19 myself so don't worry. i think you may be more concerned about being alone and not getting laid. finding someone special takes time, so you will have to be patient....life will go on if you find someone or not.

 

i think if you are waking up and thinking only of sex ALL DAY long, then there is something a little wrong with you. you are 19 and horny. you need to find ways to occupy your mind otherwise; school and work should have done that.

 

GOOD LUCK