johne Posted April 23, 2003 Share Posted April 23, 2003 this lady i've been seeing for a couple years now has this most annoying habit of challenging me on everything i say. i don't understand why she does this or what kind of satisfaction she gets out of this, but this is just driving me nuts. what would drive a woman to be this way and to act this way? if i say something is blue she aruges with me by saying it is a teal or what ever. she does not do it in an aruging tone or way but it is just a constant thing that she is always calling me on. i hate this and i don't know what to do about it anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
steffany Posted April 23, 2003 Share Posted April 23, 2003 My best friend does the same thing. She is just very defensive and likes to debate everything! Just tell her it is really starting to bother you. Tell her how it makes you feel. Let her know how it makes her look. Most of the time people don't know it is an issue or annoying until you tell them. I make sound effects for almost everything and this bugs the hell outta one of my friends so when she is around I try my hardest not to do it. Talk to her! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 24, 2003 Share Posted April 24, 2003 She obviously has self esteem problems and therefore needs to put other people down in order to build herself up and make herself feel good and superior. Constantly correcting someone on things that are totally insignificant is pathological. She needs help and you need a new girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
JOHNE Posted April 24, 2003 Share Posted April 24, 2003 SHE DOES NOT EVER PUT ANYONE DOWN, SHE JUST IS DEFENSIVE AND ARGUEMENTATIVE WITH ME. I DON'T NOTICE THIS TOO MUCH OTHERS BUT SHE DOES DO IT TOO WITH OTHERS, BUT MORE SO WITH ME, PROBABLY BECAUSE SHE IS WITH ME THE MOST. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 24, 2003 Share Posted April 24, 2003 I am quite capable of reading caps and lower case letters. I've been doing it for many years. When somebody challenges what you say constantly, they are putting down your intelligence, your opinions, your feelings, etc. So if you came here to defend what she does, why are you asking for advice??? Link to post Share on other sites
JOHNE Posted April 24, 2003 Share Posted April 24, 2003 i am sorry about the caps again, i didn't mean anything personal by it, i didn't realize they were even on. i am not actually defending her, i amjust saying that is not putting people down when she says these things. perhaps she is just so defensive and i don't know how to handle it. i just wish i knew why she behaves this way and i guess she always has but i have never really noticed it until the last few months because i've had alot going on with work and her pettyness about things is really stressing me out, ya know? so what she does is like i said, she challenges me on alot of things but i think she is just doing so either defensively or just habitually or something, either way it is so annoying that i am getting more and more fed up with her. mind you, this is not so much a bad thing but an annoying thing more thenanything because it makes me feel on the defensive on the all time too and this is also stressing me out more. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted April 24, 2003 Share Posted April 24, 2003 Some people have disorders which cause them to be oppositional. Have you discussed it with her? I would start there. Do others (her family, for instance) say that's the way she has always been? Are there other behaviour/social skills problems? Here's a site which describes symptoms of many common disorders. Have a look. There are a lot of medical problems people can have that look like 'bad character' but are caused by treatable conditions. http://mentalhelp.net/poc/center_index.php?id=8 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts