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ok I'm not going to get into the whole story but I need a little bit of advice. I briefly dated a guy last year. Slept with him too soon and, long story short, he ended up telling me his didn't want a girlfriend right then. Of course I was pretty hurt. The next couple of times I saw him it was quite awkward (we hang out as a group). We didn't talk at all. Over the course of the last year we began to talk more and more when ever we saw each other. I've tried to keep things on the "just friends" level but last weekend that line got crossed. We all went out to a local festival. Yes drinking was involved and we talked alot. I became flirty with him and he was receptive. Long story short, he ended up coming home with me. He left the next morning we kissed good bye and all was said was "see you later." now I know it was what it was but I can't help but feel like our story isn't over yet.

 

now for a bit of background (sorry this probably should have been told earlier)... he is still in contact with his ex. i've been told she broke up with him 4-5 years ago and she has been dating some one for the last 4 years. I've met her, i've actually met the new boyfriend too. This is where things get confusing for me... I'm the only girl he's dated since there break up, I'm probably the only girl that he has slept with or spent the night with since then too. Apparently after he spent the night with me last weekend his roommate and the roommate's girlfriend questioned him about what happened. He told the girlfriend that he thought I wasn't interested. In truth I am but I don't want to get hurt again so I probably played it a little cool. Now i'm torn... should i just let things be and the next time I see him try to let him know I'm interested with all the flirty things women do to show interest or should I email him and let him know that I'm still open trying again with out any expectations?

 

ugh! Please help!

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Well, it's hard to say. I wouldn't go the former route - 'showing your interest by flirting with him'. I say this because you mentioned earlier you dated this guy briefly and slept with him way too early. And the second time things are started up again you're both intoxicated. If you start flirting with him again without ever explaining that you want more than a casual relationship he may get the wrong idea about you - you get my drift? I think honesty is the best option here. Just talk to him straight up and let him know that things can't go on the way they are because you deserve better than that. I wouldn't write it in an e-mail either. But when you do tell him, don't ask for an answer right off. Let him think it over a bit.

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i agree with brandonblues....i wouldnt do the flirty thing anymore...it kinda seems like when you flirt with him it leads to sex. i also dont think you should email him, that is kinda high schoolish, maybe you should call him. i know it is a lot easier to say to do it than to actually do it...im kinda in that situation myself. im gonna tell you to just tell him how you feel, maybe i should do the same. (read my last post maybe you have advice for me)

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thanks for the good advice. I actually decided I needed to just do it and let him know how I felt. I sent an short, light email Tuesday morning basically telling him I was interested and that maybe we could go out again sometime. Yeah it was an email, probably not the most grownup thing in the world. I honestly wasn't sure if I was going to get a reply, but to my surprise he wrote me back pretty quickly. We're having dinner next week!

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