I need some advice

[new day]

Last fall I took a girl out for a date. I left feeling that I met someone with whom I could start something relatively serious with. She was attractive and intelligent and we shared common interests - were were both thinking about attending graduate school in psychology. I waited a week and called and asked her out again. She said yes call me on tuesday. Since I was more interested in establishing a relationship than fooling around with this woman (I though that would come later) I called when she told me to. I got her machine. Over the next month I called about five or six times and got her machine. And there was no call back. I felt I needed to tell her how I felt or that she wanted to hear it from me. So I told her I was interested in dating her , having a relationship and that I was not interested in seeing other girls. It came off a little heavy I felt so I waited a month before I called again. No pick-up. I tried to keep things light and fun but I felt she was never going to pick up the phone when I called and she was never going to call me back. And she didn't. I brought up the "R" word and became very unsexy to her. I was crushed. I had painted myself in a corner. The last time I called was almost three months ago. I am trying to move on but I am a little embarrassed and humiliated at my behavior. I had an opportunity and I blew it. The last time I talked to her she said yes to me, albeit last November. I swore I would never call her again and that I would move on.

Last night I called her for the first time in three months and told her I was not interested in a relationship and a committment and that if she wanted to hang out with me to give me a call. Is there any hope for me in this situation. Does anybody think this woman will call me back. Should I call her again now things are under different terms. If so when. Right now I dont want a relationship - I want to get laid. I want to want me. Somebody tell me what they think of this situation. Can I bounce back from near certain "R" word death. Now that relationship and committment are out the window I feel a weight has been lifted. Am I a lost cause? What should I do?

[yes]

i think you should find a new girl.

 

this one clearly has no interest, otherwise she would've returned your calls.

 

i would personally simply avoid a guy who talked about r/s after the first date, and then no r/s months later... just too messy. Just don't do it next time!

 

good luck,

-yes

[HokeyReligions]

Let me see if I have this straight:

 

1. You went out with a girl one time.

 

2. She said "call me tuesday" and you did. She didn't not answer the call or call you back

 

3. Even though you only had one date with her, you somehow decided that she could be "the one" and you continued to call her even though it is quite obvious that she is not interested.

 

3a. You even said you wanted a relationship with her, exclusively, after only one date.

 

4. Now you think that YOU blew it because you talked about a relationship.

 

Okay;

1. It was just one date - certainly not enough to decide that you want an exclusive relationship with her, or her with you.

 

2. She told you to call, but maybe she was just being polite and didn't know how to refuse you to your face; or she changed her mind later.

 

3 & 3a. See response for #1. I would run for the hills if some guy I went out with once kept calling me and talking about relationships. No, I would call the police and have him checked out and I would tell him in no uncertain terms that I'm not interested and to leave me alone.

 

4. She wasn't interested in you after the first date. There wasn't an opportunity for you to blow it - you never had a chance.

 

Am I a lost cause? What should I do?

 

You just need to grow up and be patient.

[Leikela]

[color=indigo]

I may be wrong here, but wouldn't you agree that your behavior comes off as a bit desperate? What blows my mind even more is that you continued calling her and leaving her messages months upon months later after only one date and especially after no return call from her. Do you need it spelled out for you? SHE IN NOT INTERESTED.

 

I would not even attribute it to the fact that you used the R word. The fact that she didn't call you back on that Tuesday tells me she didn't have the heart to tell you she wasn't interested after you asked her out again.

 

Settle down, be patient and learn to get the hint when someone isn't interested. I wouldn't contact her again or it will just be even more humiliating for you.

[/color]

[new day]

thank you guys for your help, I've learned a great deal from this experience and I will not repeat that type of behavior, thanks again

It was immature and I will grow from it

I am glad it happened because it made me see how wrong my behavior was

Why is it that some guys know what to do and other guys like myself have to go through this embarrassment and humiliation. I have always been lost when it comes to women. That does not make me feel very good about myself. I wish I had game. I think though that after this I know what to do. Lov e is like tennis you hit it in their court and wait for a return. If there is no return there is no interest and no game. It is over. Look for another girl. It hurts that I had to be such a fool but now I know better.

[Leikela]

[color=indigo]

I don't think anyone just "has game", so to speak. I think it all derives from having self confidence. It really doesn't matter what you look like or anything of that nature. It all breaks down to the way you behave. Self worth comes from within and not from what other people think of you. Approach a girl with the attitude that you're a good person and if she isn't interested, then that's her loss.

 

It is hard to explain, but it is all about unspoken body language and an aurora about someone. Like I said before, it all stems from your own self confidence and the way you carry yourself. Beef up your self esteem and you'll notice a huge difference about the way women react to you. Good luck!

[/color]

[yes]

amen!

 

i agree totally and completely that looks have nothing to do with it, it's all about confidence, personal charm & aura.

 

-yes