Help Feeling Rejected

[michele]

Well posted my message,last week. Trying to get over this guy whom I met before Christmas. He is 23, and I'm way older,he's the one that on the second date, I went all the way.

 

Well this fling continued he would call, and I would go running, the last time we were together was New Years Day.

 

He called Jan 5, then we were to go out 7jan, stood me up, said he would call,at 6pm , never did. I have been leaving messages on his cell phone since, beeped him a couple of times. Till this day,Jan 12, have not heard from him.

 

Feeling so rejected and depressed about, why can't he be a man, and at least talk to me, and give me some explanation.

 

I would rather him tell me something, then ignore me, I feel really hurt. Any advice, maybe it's just another generation. I thought he was so nice, and mature, what happened? Please help?

[Stressful Situation]

Wow, you are going through exactly what I am right now.

 

If you read the postings How Far Is Too Far, Need Ideas From Guys What to Expect(by Broken Spirit) and Double Standard?,

 

they were me. I have been wondering since I went all the way on the second date and he seemed to act like nothing was wrong when I brought up the fact he never called (he didn't after the first date when we messed around)and said he was just busy but, the fact of the matter is there is no excuse for not taking 2 seconds to pick up the phone. I tried reaching him just like you until I finally did and he didn't want to hear what I had to say and blew up at me then hung up on me. When he showed up at the club, in passing, he didn't even look up at me. I totally understand what you are going through. My guy was 24 and I was 26 when I met him-I just turned 27. I really can't figure it out myself yet. I have never moved that quickly with someone and explained that to him so he didn't think less of me.

 

I sometimes hear that the highschool double standard of giving in too soon exists and then from other guys that as you are an adult, it doesn't exist. I mean after all you are an adult right? It shouldn't matter. Well, I came to a few conclusions-1. Guys can't handle confrontation-especially if they were in the wrong and are afraid of what you might say.

 

2. They are selfish and don't care what you have to say as long as they do what makes them happy.

 

3. Maybe he already knew he only wanted one thing before it happened and would still have left whether you did anything or not-he may have had an agenda as a player.

 

Good luck and I hope you find more closure than I have.

 

As much as I probably should have left it alone, it made me feel better sending him a letter and saying what I had to

 

since he didn' tlet me on the phone. That way it isn't as threatening. I just hope he reads it. I hope you have better luck. Start doing things selfishly for yourself to make you happy now to sooth some of the pain.

Well posted my message,last week. Trying to get over this guy whom I met before Christmas. He is 23, and I'm way older,he's the one that on the second date, I went all the way. Well this fling continued he would call, and I would go running, the last time we were together was New Years Day. He called Jan 5, then we were to go out 7jan, stood me up, said he would call,at 6pm , never did. I have been leaving messages on his cell phone since, beeped him a couple of times. Till this day,Jan 12, have not heard from him. Feeling so rejected and depressed about, why can't he be a man, and at least talk to me, and give me some explanation. I would rather him tell me something, then ignore me, I feel really hurt. Any advice, maybe it's just another generation. I thought he was so nice, and mature, what happened? Please help?

[I'm Here]

Well posted my message,last week. Trying to get over this guy whom I met before Christmas. He is 23, and I'm way older,he's the one that on the second date, I went all the way. Well this fling continued he would call, and I would go running, the last time we were together was New Years Day. He called Jan 5, then we were to go out 7jan, stood me up, said he would call,at 6pm , never did. I have been leaving messages on his cell phone since, beeped him a couple of times. Till this day,Jan 12, have not heard from him. Feeling so rejected and depressed about, why can't he be a man, and at least talk to me, and give me some explanation.

 

I would rather him tell me something, then ignore me, I feel really hurt. Any advice, maybe it's just another generation. I thought he was so nice, and mature, what happened? Please help?

I really can't say that I have had the same experience, but I am a very good listener and have had many heartbreaks in my life. You have been used and that is one of the worst feelings one can experience. The days will seem darker and you will feel like your whole world has fallen apart. However, once you gather your inner strength, you will be able to see that the sun never stopped shining....it was all the storm clouds getting in the way. So, lift your chin up, learn from this situation and never forget that YOU are the most important person in your life and always will be. Rise above those clouds and smile...you were given another chance to live in happiness. It only gets better!!!

[Joe]

There may be a reason he has not been calling you. It's possible he died or is now in jail. Either way, if you don't hear from him in a couple weeks, just shake it off and get on with life.

Well posted my message,last week. Trying to get over this guy whom I met before Christmas. He is 23, and I'm way older,he's the one that on the second date, I went all the way. Well this fling continued he would call, and I would go running, the last time we were together was New Years Day. He called Jan 5, then we were to go out 7jan, stood me up, said he would call,at 6pm , never did. I have been leaving messages on his cell phone since, beeped him a couple of times. Till this day,Jan 12, have not heard from him. Feeling so rejected and depressed about, why can't he be a man, and at least talk to me, and give me some explanation. I would rather him tell me something, then ignore me, I feel really hurt. Any advice, maybe it's just another generation. I thought he was so nice, and mature, what happened? Please help?

[michele]

There may be a reason he has not been calling you. It's possible he died or is now in jail. Either way, if you don't hear from him in a couple weeks, just shake it off and get on with life.

 

Well it's been a week since i heard from him. Been really bummed out, probably gained 4pounds. I feel that we could of been friends at least, well since november I've been dumped twice, first it was the relationship with the man, who dumped me for the daughter, never had sex. The second with the younger guy, which I did, what a catch 22 sitution.

 

If you have sex, they leave you. If you don't they leave you anyway. Help need advice.

[Meta]

Well it's been a week since i heard from him. Been really bummed out, probably gained 4pounds. I feel that we could of been friends at least, well since november I've been dumped twice, first it was the relationship with the man, who dumped me for the daughter, never had sex. The second with the younger guy, which I did, what a catch 22 sitution. If you have sex, they leave you. If you don't they leave you anyway. Help need advice.

I've been through a lot of crap like this myself because I think that giving myself will show how much I like them...but I guess that's not the case with men. Even though I make the same mistakes over and over again, the results are never the same. Now I think that if you are meant to be with the person, no matter what you do, he will stay and vice versa, if you aren't meant to be...no matter what you do, he won't. So I guess my point is that if you accept the f***ed upness of this guy's attitude and let it go...your life will be much easier and better. Probably he desired you but nothing more, which I know hurts, but guess what, at least he desired you. I know a lot of people who can't even get laid...so I don't know if this will make you feel better, but look at the bright side of it. At least you know not to get involved with "boys" who can't deal with issues. (Trust me, I know how it is to date younger men and they suck all the way to the core!!!)

[michele]

I've been through a lot of crap like this myself because I think that giving myself will show how much I like them...but I guess that's not the case with men. Even though I make the same mistakes over and over again, the results are never the same. Now I think that if you are meant to be with the person, no matter what you do, he will stay and vice versa, if you aren't meant to be...no matter what you do, he won't. So I guess my point is that if you accept the f***ed upness of this guy's attitude and let it go...your life will be much easier and better. Probably he desired you but nothing more, which I know hurts, but guess what, at least he desired you. I know a lot of people who can't even get laid...so I don't know if this will make you feel better, but look at the bright side of it. At least you know not to get involved with "boys" who can't deal with issues. (Trust me, I know how it is to date younger men and they suck all the way to the core!!!)

Meta, Thanks so much your words of wisdom, really helped.

 

I'll keep you posted.