Author imstunned Posted October 25, 2007 Author Share Posted October 25, 2007 Well, after three weeks of being strong and fighting an ever stonger need to contact him I finally caved in today and e-mailed him. BOY - did I get a shock when it bounced right back to me. He has obviously closed his e-mail account. So badly does he never ever want to hear from me again that he has closed his account!! Wouldnt deleting any mail from me and not replying suffice? After this I was shaking - I couldnt quite believe it! It feels like he hates me. And I never did anything wrong!! Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted October 25, 2007 Share Posted October 25, 2007 Deleting his email account could easily have been a condition for reconciliation. Why do you insist on blaming yourself? Ever think he may have been corresponding with OTHER women besides you? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 25, 2007 Share Posted October 25, 2007 I think this is the best outcome. I know you probably don't think so.. Do your best to now make closure, make peace that HE was not playing with a full deck of cards, consider yourself blessed, and let go... You also really have no clue why that email account was closed. Chances are, his wife told him to close it and he listened to her, especially if she's giving him a second chance to fix the marriage. I doubt he hates you so try not to think such negative thoughts. Still, the bottomline of all this is, he was married and lied to you about that. I hope someday soon you feel better and are able to find love again. Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted October 25, 2007 Share Posted October 25, 2007 I hope someday soon you feel better and are able to find love again. Yes, Stunned, I agree with WWIU. Consider yourself blessed, put this nightmare behind you and finally let go. Find closure in knowing that this man treated you very badly and desire him not. Like WWIU, hope you find some measure of calm in your life and one day a man who really deserves you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author imstunned Posted October 25, 2007 Author Share Posted October 25, 2007 I hope one day I'll feel better and find love too! I dont think that this outcome is for the best. Its just another kick in the teeth. What would have been the best is for him to contact me and say somethng - ANYTHING! The is no closure there is no letting go - I'm trying, but its not like you can just say to your self "today I'm going to let it go". Its gone, its dead, its over. To him I evidently dont exist. But HE is still on my mind. I'm still very very hurt. All the time. Reboot - I cant help but take it personally - As I'm assuming it had something to do with me. Bit of a coincidence otherwise. I dont think he was seeing any other OW at the same time as me - but what the hell do I know! Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted October 25, 2007 Share Posted October 25, 2007 As I'm assuming it had something to do with me. Bit of a coincidence otherwise.Why would you assume this!? He got caught and his wife read him from the good book! Come on now. Based on what you've told us, he would have come back for more if he could have. It didn't have anything to do with you. I guess it's pointless to keep telling you this though, you're too busy being a martyr. Link to post Share on other sites
Author imstunned Posted October 25, 2007 Author Share Posted October 25, 2007 Reboot - its not pointelss telling me this. It helps. I have learnt alot about myself through this whole thing, and thats a good thing. I'm not a martyr, but I can see why it may look like a am one. The more the fog clears the clearer I can see ( I think) - but when you are in a situation where you have no control at all you grasp at the smallest things - like for me, saying to myself that I could contact him via e-mail if I wished. It felt like I had a choice available to me to make when I chose to make it. Now he has taken that from me too. And I am angry with him for that! In fact I'm angry with him full stop. He is such a coward. A pair of balls and no idea what the hell to do with them! Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted October 25, 2007 Share Posted October 25, 2007 He is such a coward. A pair of balls and no idea what the hell to do with them! .... EXACTLY! .... Link to post Share on other sites
minerva63 Posted October 27, 2007 Share Posted October 27, 2007 imstunned-- i just came across this forum tonight and i wish i had done so earlier. like you, i was stunned to find out i was the "other" instead of the "only". this was on oct 12. i can't believe how many times i heard myself in your words. even today. this experience has shaken me to the core--in many obvious ways and in some that i don't even understand yet. please find some solace in your desire to speak to him--i am right there with you. you are not pathetic. we both are. i don't want to hijack your thread with my story, but i'll tell you that i have had 3 conversations with the wife (she has called me)--1 short one on the day my life imploded; 1 long, painful one a few days later; and hopefully the last one just yesterday. those conversations were more enlightening and strangely therapuetic (for both of us) than anything he told me in the aftermath. yes, i apparently broke the first rule and contacted him--i only lasted 8 days btw--but he just couldn't give me the answers i needed. and that is a whole 'nother story. if you're interested, let me know and i'll give you the sordid details. trust me, there is no reason to beat yourself up. i've been weaker than you. i guess what i'm saying, and not very eloquently, is that you get closure (if it even exists) on your own. not from someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
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