scubahood Posted October 9, 2007 Share Posted October 9, 2007 Well here goes...My ex of 6 years broke up with me about 1.5 years ago.. She is 23 i am 25.We had a pretty good relashionship together she was a bit insucre as well as I but we worked through it.. We were best friends we talked to each other for a year before getting togther.... We talked about marriage and buying a house before we broke up I actually went as far and had purchased a ring and was going to do it on our last trip to mexico when we were going through the process of breaking up . We broke up it was pretty bad we faught all the time going through it and was really ugly on both parties. She would go out and see a guy and come back to my place. One time i suggested to go see a movie with her nieces and newphews. She took the some other guy instead. anyways so everytime she broke up with her last ex i would get the emails or the instant messages. This time i got the phone calls txt ect.. And we talk all day long... We have went alot lately together dinner movies drinks amusment park things like that. But i still love her when I came to terms with our break up i went on the let her go and when she wants she will contact me..? During the period we didnt talk i worked on myself. Specially the problems I had with her. Did some things i wanted to do and just kept busy. I ve gotten close to some others but they werent what i wanted. Now with all that aside. She has never been single very long and wants to be single for some time which i understand and think she is doing right.. But i know we were best friends and all but where do I come into play here? Why contact me cry to me? I have told her if she really really needs to talk about it I will. We spent most of the weekend together and i had fun so did she. We have planned several things like a wedding to go to. going out to halloween parties even she has suggested getting some people together and go on a trip in the new year. I just dont know how to go about this, I've realized that I still love her and try to hide it and it feels all wrong. Would she pick up on this and know that i do. When im around I want to hold her hand and things like that but I dont and prolly wont in fear of rejection. Does she feel the same way.Am I becoming the door mat? Should i cut all ties move on and maybe then will be the time? Does she love me and want to just be single and when shes ready to settle down then come back? IM very confused when i think about all the issues I tend to think that she wants to keep me close so if all else fails that im there or when shes ready to commit I will be there but i can not go on like this I think about it all the time everyday when im not busy and i just cant come up with a solid conclusion on what she is doing. I dont want to ask we have talked about it and she has said she wants to be single for now and left it at that. The other day when she was here she was where i hit something when we broke up .. Its still damaged cause I can not find a replacement door for it to match the house. But we talked about and she cried what did that mean. I feel really confused and i do feel like giving up but on the same note I love her very much and i have realized what i have really missed over the past year and a half. I want that back. Today i did mention to her that i dont know where the boundries are so if i seem a little wierd it's because I dont know where to draw the line and she said that she understood but, would not talk about anything else and really stressed the fact that she wanted to be single for a while and become her own person. I am in agreement to that but as for myself I would do anything for a second chance but i am very afraid of becoming really hurt in the end of all of this and I dont think i could handle it all again because with time it migh get worse. Any opions would be greatly appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
lazer1743 Posted October 9, 2007 Share Posted October 9, 2007 I was in this same situation. There are many other factors in my situation but lets focus on yours. Thankfully you have not had to deal with her dating/making out with other guys while you were around. its pretty devestating. I think she truly does want to be single. Plese take the next thing i say as my opinion only, since im a not a professional or in a successful relationship:p. I do not think she wants to be with you even when she does want to date. God i hope i am wrong, i am the biggest fan of happy endings! If it does not work out and you remain friends then great, but if your unsure whether you can remain friends then here are a FEW questions that helped me figure that out. 1.Is the friendship worth the pain i am and will suffer through? 2.Is it at all possible to get over her (while being friends) and move on to another healthy relationship? I say healthy because i read to many times on here about men being TOO clingy to the ex and it hurting the current GF. Get out there and date BUT, if you are not ready to move on then DONT. you will hurt the other person if you try to force it (aka rebound). 3.If you choose to remain friends..... will your friendship be able to survive if she begins to date another?........ if this happens review step 1 again:p I hope all the best for you my friend. Link to post Share on other sites
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