in love with my best friend

[poman2125]

hi all, i'm new but i need some input.

 

i've known this girl very well for about 2 years now. she lives in another state about 4 hours away from me, but we talk all the time, whether it be online or the phone.

we became very close because we could relate to each other on certain things. she's helped me overcome some huge hurdles in my life, and i like to think i've done the same for her. we have so much in common and we have alot of the same aspirations in life.

 

i have definitely fallen for her. we met up once over the summer, i went to visit her but i could only stay for less than a day so it was hard to really have some alone time with her. the thing is, i don't know how she feels about me.

 

hints that i've gotten:

• she is a virgin, i am not, and she said that she could see herself asking me to take her virginity. i've never heard of a girl coming straight out with it like that.
  
• in the past, she's told me that she likes me. i think i made it clear that i felt the same way. it's been a long time since that's happened, so i'm not sure where she stands on it now.
  
• she told me recently that i am the only guy who comes close to being "that guy" in her life. that guy? as in "the guy"? what does that mean?
  
• she tells me that she really wants me to come visit, and i am going to in a few weeks. she said she was excited for me to come.
  
• sometimes when we end conversations online, she'll tell me she loves me. i know that's just how girls talk sometimes, but it really gets me sometimes.
  
• i'm coincidentally moving very close to where she lives this coming summer. she said that would be great, because we could "spend all of our free time together". she also wanted to get an apartment with me.

hints that make me question things:

• one time i asked her what she would say if i asked her out. she said that she didn't know what to say, because "i know everything about her".
  
• when i went to visit her over the summer, we didn't have any time alone. two friends of hers hung out with us for the day. i view it as bad because i feel like she didn't want to be alone with me, but i guess its good that she wanted to introduce me to her friends...

i know this is alot of information to digest, but i would appreciate any and all input you folks could give. i really care about this girl, but i really don't know how to proceed and how to indicate to her that i care about her. i'd tell her straight up how i feel but i'm worried i'd lose her as a friend, what should i do?

[Phateless]

You're just gonna have to man up and face your fear. When you see her, be willing to make a move, and if it doesn't go well, then you try and sort it out. If she's a good friend, you guys can move past it. I have friends like that.

 

Fear is a stupid reason to miss out on something great. Don't worry about strategy, or being smooth, or any of that crap. If she likes you, it will all work out.

 

Just don't half-ass it.

[LoveLace]

When she said that you know everything about her, I'm gathering it was her way of saying "Of COURSE I'd go out with you...I was hoping you picked it up that I adore you by now"...and maybe her friends were there because she was nervous about being alone with you, not in way that she thinks your harmful, but out of fear of awkwardness...maybe you talk on the phone/online often...but in-person is a whole other ball game. It open physical opportunities. I assure you the friends weren't there to make you uncomfortable or because she's afraid of being alone with you...just nervous...it's more like they were there for moral support...girls are like that.

 

To me it's obvious that she has total feelings for you. Ask her out on a casual date...nothing too formal...and when it feels right, tell her how much you enjoy her company and her friendship, and you've wondered about the possibility for more...then ask has she ever thought about it? (and you know she has! It's written all over your post!) good luck

[poman2125]

To me it's obvious that she has total feelings for you.

 

Really? That makes me feel better.

 

What about some of the other things she said, like getting an apartment with me. Would a girl want to live with a guy she has feelings for so quickly? I wouldn't tend to think so...

[IrishCarBomb]

Stop overthinking this. If you analyze every little detail you will go insane.

 

I would advise to not put so much stock in something that isn't going anywhere until at least next summer... and that depends on nothing changing in the long time between now and then.

[LoveLace]

Really? That makes me feel better.

 

What about some of the other things she said, like getting an apartment with me. Would a girl want to live with a guy she has feelings for so quickly? I wouldn't tend to think so...

 

Good question...I wouldn't think so either...but she's saying it under the current circumstances, which is "friends". I wouldn't worry about that too much. I say just ask her out. Don't say "What would you say..." just say, "I'd like to take you out sometime...wanna do dinner and a movie?"...something along those lines...and say it with confidence...

[Saxis]

I think you gotta start moving yourself out of the friend zone. I really regret not making a move on my best friend's sister when I had the chance. She took me to all her dances and I was an idiot; didn't take her to mine. I had so many chances, and screwed up on all of them. Now I will always wonder.... We went our separate ways, I got married, now getting divorced, and I heard she might be coming back into town, so who knows!

 

Learn a lesson from me though: Don't wait until it's too late!! When she does find someone else (and she will), there might not even be room for you as her "best friend" anymore. Act now!!