a stir of emotions...(long)

[Beatnik]

OK this is long and pretty vague I know but hey its 11:38 at night so cut me a break willya?

 

OK there is this girl that was sending me some signals for a while and I finally asked her out, she said yes, we set a date, but we've postponed it twice as of that day. But we dont have any classes together and whenever I see her in the halls were are either going seperate ways or she is talking to someone else, and whenever we actually talk its short and REALLY ackward. But we do talk alot through the text messaging feature on our cell phones, so we already know alot about each other.

 

But the real thing is, I was excited and happy about it at first, but now when I compare the things she has done in high school to what I have done, it really makes me feel inatiquete, like I'm not good enough for her. I'm trying to take the advice that Silent Bob gives in Chasing Amy, how I shouldnt feel inadequite, that she obviously likes me for who I am and thats all that matters, but its difficult.

 

Another thing is that another girl likes me. Now this may not seem abnormal to you, but I have never had more than one girl interested in me at once, and there is usually a large lapse between such times. So I'm having trouble processing it all...

 

On one hand I have this really cute, smart, extreme overachiever, whose from a more well-to-do family (I think) who has postponed our date to volunteer for something. We never pyshically talk for more than a few words and thats terribly ackward, even though I was calm and smooth when I asked her out.

 

Then on the other I have another really cute, smart girl, who does ok in school and happens to like videogames. We have no trouble talking, and are comfortable around each other. Socially we are pretty much on par with one another, social status wise.

 

I feel I am more attracted to girl #1 because I love intelligent, hardworking, girls. Yet I am more comfortable around girl #2. and I can seem myself with either of them.

 

Any ideal why I feel so ackward when I'm around girl #1 and not so around girl #2 when I know them about the same?

[Tony T]

YOU ASK: "Any ideal why I feel so ackward when I'm around girl #1 and not so around girl #2 when I know them about the same?"

 

That's an easy one. Girl #2 is much more like you are and seems to receive you more warmly.

 

You indicate you are more attracted to #1 but I think a lot of that is because she is elusive/hard to get. My advice is for you to go out with both of them a few times.

 

Over the long haul, you will have a much better time and have a far more fulfilling experience with girl #2, although #1 will always keep your interest peaked...because it's just natural for people to want what is not readily available.

 

Take my word for it. It's far more sane and rational to go for a lady you feel comfortable with, can talk to, feel good doing things with, and seems eager to spend time with you. Getting tangled in with this "hard to get" crap where we work so hard to gain the acceptance of somebody who seems sort of unattainable would be a waste of time in your case.

 

It's neither wise nor defendable to continue to be interested in someone you feel awkward around, although that could change once you get to know her better. But why not give sweet lady #2 first crack at your heart since she is being very sweet about things. She deserves the time and attention you can give her. #1 is getting all she needs elsewhere.

 

And, by the way, once #1 finds out you're shifting attention to #2, she'll come crawling after you. Don't ask my why...it just always works that way.

 

Have a great weekend!!!

[Beatnik]

Hey Tony I have an update, like 5 minutes after I posted that first post, my friend emily, who had gone with girl #2 to the movies that night, stopped me as I was leaving the store and told me that girl #2 had been talking about me all night long, and told me to ask her out. I should have written before that I only assumed girl #2 like me

[midori]

if you're conscious of differences in social status between you and girl #1 that's probably not a good sign. Obviously relationships -- romantic or platonic -- can transcend social class, but if it's something you're aware of then probably not. You'd always be aware of it, always trying to compensate. Even if you're the only one who's aware of the differences it'll affect who you are and how you behave in the relationship.

 

Look at all the trouble it caused Molly Ringwald in Pretty in Pink. Sure, she got Blaine in the end ... but you don't really think their relationship survived into college, do you?

[Tony T]

Your second post above does not affect my advice to you even slightly.

 

By the way, you go to the store rather late at night....not a good idea in this day and age.

[Beatnik]

Well I should have been more descriptive, you see the store I went to was my brother's videogame shop, I stopped there after getting some gas because I had forgotten something I needed in the morning. What were you think I was doing?