This needs to be said here

[OldEurope]

What "good name"??? Isn't your screen name anonymous like everybody else's?

 

And what "retaliation" are you talking about? It's not like anybody can DO anything to you. Last I heard, it's not exactly necessary for adulterers to enter The Witness Protection Program.

 

If you've got something to say worth saying, something you believe in... why be all chicken**** about it and hide behind a new user name?

 

Oh for Pete's sake, LJ, calm down and accept the fact that all your "adulterers" can't be tossed into one category.

 

And no wonder he wouldn't use the same screen name---whole threads were deleted here in the past couple of days because the hex squad is out on the rampage. I have not seen attacks and insults on this forum like I have in the past week or so.

[angel3]

to us, it was right, and it's been right ever since. Not every man who leaves his wife is a jerk, sometimes his wife is the jerk---and he leaves for real love.

 

Very well put, thank you for this! And yes ... behind each person is a much longer story, so try not to judge by lumping the masses together and forgetting what might be hidden behind the book's cover. And never say never, since you just may find yourself looking back down a painfully familiar road from the past, just on a different side of the street this time - the side you were sure would never be yours.

 

Nothing is certain but for change - now, embrace THAT and you've a friend for life.

[OWoman]

Thanks MrWright for a rational, balanced, insightful post. It's great to know that there are some people posting here who can reason and not just emote.

 

Every situation is different, and most people post scant details for reasons of anonymity and brevity, so there will always be lots of information other people don't have access to when the read it and make their judgments. Sometimes that missing information would shift their POV. Sometimes they're just determined to see their perspective dominate because of religious or moral views that don't allow them to consider that another view may be OK. But then, without people like that we'd have no wars, and arms manufacturers would go out of business and there'd be lots of unemployed people.

[Ladyjane14]

Oh for Pete's sake, LJ, calm down and accept the fact that all your "adulterers" can't be tossed into one category.

 

And no wonder he wouldn't use the same screen name---whole threads were deleted here in the past couple of days because the hex squad is out on the rampage. I have not seen attacks and insults on this forum like I have in the past week or so.

 

"Calm down"? Maybe you ought to read again without adding your own perception of emotional overtones.

 

I'm just pointing out that in an already anonymous venue, there's little need for subterfuge and game-playing. So, if someone considers their screen-name to be vested with some sort of credibility, why not use it to it's full advantage?

 

And I don't know what "hex squad" you're referring to. Are you talking about people who don't agree that it's okay to interfere with other people's marriages or commit adultery. Because that's not bashing. That's just opinion. It's presumption for one to assume they know exactly another member's emotional intent on the basis of a few blurbs posted on the internet.

 

Honestly, I don't see why people would get their drawers in such a bunch anyway. Why would anyone care is some anonymous internet user doesn't like them or doesn't agree with their position? Seems to me that people who are soooooo emotionally unstable as to invest in the opinions of strangers have more problems than they can hope to solve on a message board.

[PoshPrincess]

Mr Wright! Great post, thanks. And it IS good to hear a happy ending. False hope? I don't know. I think we believe what we want to believe at the time. I might have read your post this time last year and wanted to believe that my MM would do the same. Now it would be a different story! I don't know why you are worried about revealing your true identity as I don't think you should be ashamed of anything and neither should you worry about the bashing that goes on here, but I guess you have your reasons.

 

Well done anyway. You had the guts to move on and be with the person you really love. It's a shame that not all men in your position are the same but, yes, everyone IS different. I don't believe (how ever many times it is said on here!) that if a mm doesn't leave to be with his ow then he doesn't love her enough. That is simply not true in all cases - some just have different priorities to others, that's all! Only the mms in these situations know how they feel!

[OpenBook]

And I don't know what "hex squad" you're referring to. Are you talking about people who don't agree that it's okay to interfere with other people's marriages or commit adultery. Because that's not bashing. That's just opinion. It's presumption for one to assume they know exactly another member's emotional intent on the basis of a few blurbs posted on the internet.

 

So it's not OK for someone else to presume what your intent is (the hex squad)... but it IS OK for you to presume what theirs is (judging others for comitting adultery). Got it. Thanks for clarifying.

 

Honestly, I don't see why people would get their drawers in such a bunch anyway. Why would anyone care is some anonymous internet user doesn't like them or doesn't agree with their position?

 

It certainly doesn't seem to bother you.

[Impudent Oyster]

Mr. Wright (in case you are still reading), what a breath of fresh air you are. Regardless of whether you are or are not an anomaly:D, you certainly seem to have a level, rational head on your shoulders, and you made a great point about the ineffectiveness of passing judgment on others when we don't really know the whole story. I'm taking that one to heart.

 

Ah yes, Mr. Wright is quite a hero on this forum...he's every OW's dream, aren't you Mr. Wright?

 

I'm sure he's just being modest.

[Impudent Oyster]

....If a man truly wants to end his marriage and be with his OW, he will...Just like you did for yours...

 

Truer words couldn't be spoken.

[OpenBook]

Ah yes, Mr. Wright is quite a hero on this forum...he's every OW's dream, aren't you Mr. Wright?

 

I'm sure he's just being modest.

 

Yes he is a hero, in my book anyway. He left a woman who made him miserable, and married a woman who made him happy. I salute him for it.

[Impudent Oyster]

Yes he is a hero, in my book anyway. He left a woman who made him miserable, and married a woman who made him happy. I salute him for it.

 

Actually, he's your hero because he left his wife and married his OW, in his case it just so happened that he was miserable in his marriage and his OW made him happy. That's where his situation is very, very unique in that most MM having affairs are NOT miserable at home or happier with the OW, as many have attested to on this very forum.

[Art_Critic]

Yes he is a hero, in my book anyway. He left a woman who made him miserable, and married a woman who made him happy. I salute him for it.

I'm curious as to why you feel the need for a hero ?

He has done nothing but seek happiness and get it.. every person can do this and I am happy for him that he has a good relationship and is happy.

 

Leaving a woman who made him miserable and marrying one that makes him happy doesn't deserve hero worship in my book.

It makes him human.

 

I have nothing against Mr Wright for his posting.. it is his story.. and a good happy one for him at that..

It doesn't mean that becuase he said his words that it should be applied to all the OW/MM issues on LS though..

 

I do feel that this drama over posting under a different name is so that his post catches more attention and is taken more seriously than if he had posted under his real posing name..

I guess he was successful.. I read it with a slightly different light because of the drama.

[Impudent Oyster]

Leaving a woman who made him miserable and marrying one that makes him happy doesn't deserve hero worship in my book.

It makes him human.

 

 

Exactly, he did what any person who was miserable in a marriage and happier with someone else would do...the important point is that too many OW make the mistake of believing that their MM really are miserable with their wives or that they would be happier with them (OW), when the real discontent lies with MM himself, not his wife, not his marriage and no one is going to make him happy.

 

Happiness comes from within, you can't rely on other people to give it to you.

[OpenBook]

Actually, he's your hero because he left his wife and married his OW, in his case it just so happened that he was miserable in his marriage and his OW made him happy.

 

I'm curious as to why you feel the need for a hero ?

 

Y'all are certainly entitled to your "presumptions", I'd be the last one to slam you for them. There certainly seems to be something about the OP's story that just doesn't set right with you people. It makes me curious too -- about you.

[Art_Critic]

There certainly seems to be something about the OP's story that just doesn't set right with you people. It makes me curious too -- about you.

 

To me it isn't his story that doesn't sit quite right, it is the fact that he would announce in the beginning that he is posting under a different name..

Drama from the get go.. by doing that he was letting go of some of that valuable anonymity he was looking for from the beginning.

 

Why didn't he just post as another poster who is new to the forum?

He posted all the info about his other identify for effect..

 

To me it detracted away from his real story.. but like I said I did read his post from a slightly different angle and maybe his message got thru because of this.. who knows..

[reboot]

There certainly seems to be something about the OP's story that just doesn't set right with you people.

I don't consider myself 'you people', and honestly, my life is screwed up enough already that I don't really care who does what here. But just to address your statement there, what doesn't set right is why someone already very anonymous would feel they had to be even more anonymous.

 

I'm not saying his story isn't true, but I think we all know people with agendas here have created new user names and started threads just to get their agenda heard. And I'm not just talking about people in the OW/OM camp.

[OpenBook]

I'm not saying his story isn't true, but I think we all know people with agendas here have created new user names and started threads just to get their agenda heard. And I'm not just talking about people in the OW/OM camp.

 

Reboot, I am genuinely confused. Are you saying the OP is a troll??

[reboot]

Pardon,

but statistics do NOT apply to EVERYONE.

And who are any of us to KNOW what someone needs?

Your truth maybe brown, but others see red or green.

Please do not project your fears or negativity on people who look for support. There are ways to express you views without declaring your authority.

MrWright's story demonstrates that many posters (particularly non-OW/OM) insist their POV to be most apropos when they haven't even 'been-there-done-that. I have seen many posters imply that their perspectives are unimpeachable. That is a definition of judgement.

Personally, I cannot vouch for statistics, I can only present knowledge of my own and friend's experiences.

Well, you're quite wrong there. Statistics most certainly DO apply to everyone. That's what make them statistics. That's not a very smart thing to say. *shrug*

 

You can choose to believe in the Easter Bunny if you want, but math is quite real.

 

I wasn't insisting on my point of view, I wasn't even sharing my point of view. I was simply quoting numbers. How about some of 'you people' stop twisting everything people say here.

[reboot]

Reboot, I am genuinely confused. Are you saying the OP is a troll??

NO! I am saying it's a possibility, and that's what some of the comments (not mine up to now) have been alluding to. That's all. I sincerely hope that isn't the case.

[serial muse]

To me it isn't his story that doesn't sit quite right, it is the fact that he would announce in the beginning that he is posting under a different name..

Drama from the get go.. by doing that he was letting go of some of that valuable anonymity he was looking for from the beginning.

 

Why didn't he just post as another poster who is new to the forum?

He posted all the info about his other identify for effect..

 

To me it detracted away from his real story.. but like I said I did read his post from a slightly different angle and maybe his message got thru because of this.. who knows..

 

I did have the same reaction - and I'd guess I'm not the only person who immediately started trying to figure out who Mr. Wright is (no pun intended).

 

I think that it's great that he didn't make either woman wait more than a few months before taking action. Of course, I wish he hadn't strung along his wife - however awful of a wife he thinks she was - even for those few months. But at least he did eventually make a choice.

 

Does that mean that the MM who don't, or who choose to stay married, don't love their OW? Obviously, the answer is: sometimes. I'm sure nobody wants to be on the wrong end of that, but the plain truth is that sometimes he really doesn't love the OW and isn't staying for the kids, and sometimes he is.

 

But regardless, it seems to me that the lesson from Mr. Wright's post is that if he's going to leave, he probably won't take years to do it. Probably. And if he does take an inordinately long time - even if he loves the OW - then it's hard to escape the likely truth that he's primarily looking out for number one. It benefits no one else. That seems like an unreliable, selfish kind of love to pin years of hopes on.

 

When you're dealing with someone whose back is up against a wall, and who has become accustomed to lying his way out of tight corners - even if he's not a bad person at heart - usually the thing to do is stop listening to the words and pay attention to the actions. Mr Wright voted with his feet. Isn't that the point?

[Cobra_X30]

NO! I am saying it's a possibility, and that's what some of the comments (not mine up to now) have been alluding to. That's all. I sincerely hope that isn't the case.

 

Exactly!

 

Whats the point of this thread anyway? Oh yeah... it was posted in defence of MM who cheat.

 

Can anyone tell me why it is so difficult to wait until you actually file for divorce to start a physical relationship with your next partner?

[Bobby NoBrains]

All that the OP seems to be saying is that (a) Not every story is bitter for everyone concerned. (b) Don't always generalize. © Try to moderate your replies. I think he has every right to say that, and to put his viewpoint forward. In fact, he's quite right. Just because some of us may not agree with the situation the posters find themselves in does not really give us a right to comment excessively on their morals and character or lack of them It's as simple as a, b, c !

 

Just my two bits ..

 

Bobby

[reboot]

Just because some of us may not agree with the situation the posters find themselves in does not really give us a right to comment excessively on their morals and character or lack of them It's as simple as a, b, c !

I agree with that, but the message some people are trying to send is, unless our answers exactly match what the poster wants to hear, whether it be good advice or not, we shouldn't comment then either.

[Bobby NoBrains]

There will always be fools, let them bark (to mix up a few common sayings). And as the nice Cobra_X30 would say, just muzzle the one's that bite

 

Just my two bits ..

 

Bobby

[EnigmaXOXO]

Why didn't he just post as another poster who is new to the forum?

He posted all the info about his other identify for effect..

 

To me it detracted away from his real story.. but like I said I did read his post from a slightly different angle and maybe his message got thru because of this.. who knows..

 

I LIKE happy endings! Not enough of them here. Probably only about 3%.

 

But the only thing that gives me pause to doubt the credibility of the poster (for even a minute) is that they would admit to changing their “good name” in order to post it. It says (at least to me) that they’re not exactly proud of the fact that they stepped up and did the right thing. And that’s disheartening, because they should be. It also makes me question the honesty of someone who would assume separate identities/personas on an forum where you are anonymous in the first place. Kinda just leaves you wondering what they don’t want you to know or discover from their previous posts.

 

I think if any of us are going to be grandiose enough to presume there is some kind of honor or “good reputation” linked with our silly user names ... then why not use that to stand up and speak your truths? If you are indeed someone whose opinion is respected, then wouldn’t that only serve to lend more credibility to your stance?

 

I don’t know. Just seems like a whole lot of silliness coming from a bunch of adults. Myself included! But I’m still left to wonder ... where are all these posts that people are claiming that others are being called “whores” (???)

[reboot]

But I’m still left to wonder ... where are all these posts that people are claiming that others are being called “whores” (???)

Some of them you'd have to be a Mod to see now.