What do girls look for in a guy....ladies, please!

[RecordProducer]

I look for integrity. That word says so much; it means he is genuine, good-hearted, open-minded, kind, loyal. I can smell a phoney guy from a mile away. I can't stand guys who have problems with themselves. A gentleman is easy on the judgments and tolerant toward the weaker. A negative attitude is a major turn-off. He has to be brave and stand behind his opinions because they makes sense on a universal level - not because they suits HIM.

 

Intelligence is a very important trait to me, but not all people appreciate the same types of intelligence. Some are more practical, some more etherial and I don't think these two types should mix. If one partner wants to discuss facts and the other ideas, they will never fully understand each other. Mutual interests are extremely important and finally, sexual compatibility.

'big fat c0ck and knows how to use it'

 

And a lot more.

 

You asked what would make us say "I can't live without him." I would need all of the above in order to not be able to live without someone. A cute smile won't make me fall in love. But that's just me. Woemn are so different in their tastes.

[monkey00]

I look for integrity. That word says so much; it means he is genuine, good-hearted, open-minded, kind, loyal. I can smell a phoney guy from a mile away. I can't stand guys who have problems with themselves. A gentleman is easy on the judgments and tolerant toward the weaker. A negative attitude is a major turn-off. He has to be brave and stand behind his opinions because they makes sense on a universal level - not because they suits HIM.

 

Integrity towards you, or all areas in his life?

While it sounds easy on paper, it's impossible to devote yourself 100% everytime.

 

Aside from the various flakey people that are unreliable....Personally I believe someone that's single will always have more integrity than someone that's in a relationship. You're only 1 person and can only devote your time to someone/something so many ways in one day. Once you put a relationship into the equation, you're often bound to blow some people off and even make certain sacrifices down the line. And once you start a family, the majority of your time goes there also .

[Cobra_X30]

Girls on this board. What are the things you look for in a guy? Good looks, great body? What makes you say woooooooooooooooooooow can't live without him.

 

I mean I know everyone's different so what works for you guys might be different for someone else but if I try to get a little something chances are I'll hit the one quality that my girl 's looking for.

 

 

$$$$ .... nuff said!

[Trialbyfire]

$$$$ .... nuff said!

That's a pretty cynical attitude. Money doesn't rock everyone's world.

[Lunar Sonata]

Money rocks my world! While I'm single, makes for a good distraction.

[Darkzen]

I can see why Sigmund Freud was baffled and asked what do women want. Probably every time he asked women they always said confidence and then he tried to figure out what that meant and well.... he got nowhere:laugh:

 

There is a lot of bs hiding behind that word confidence. I think when I have more time I will expose it all:cool: And women will not like me:D

 

It is not a pretty picture and probably will cause a riot:eek:

 

But, it is human nature. A flawed species, we are.

 

Confidence is knowing what you're capable of. Arrogance is thinking you're capable of more than you really are. I.E. "I'm intelligent" is confidence... "I'm intelligent and know everything" is arrogance.

 

Not having confidence is being unsure of yourself, nobody wants this trait in a partner, unless they like being the dominant one. Confidence is a good trait to possess, it speaks volumes of the person's character. Arrogance is a bad trait to possess, it also speaks volumes of the person's character. Although, I think people would rather have someone that isn't confident over someone that is arrogant.

 

I like a strong women, one that is confident in herself and her abilities. Arrogant women are my bane though. Arrogant people refuse to listen, learn and/or grow.

 

Lastly, you can be confident in your flaws as well. It's far better than being ignorant or unsure of them IMHO. Yes, we're humans and possess flaws. I understand this and know what I am and what I am not capable of... that's confidence.

[Cobra_X30]

That's a pretty cynical attitude. Money doesn't rock everyone's world.

 

Sorry, just feeling snarky today!

 

In all honesty though... I am kinda cynical about that. See when you've got something... then you always wonder... does she like me? or the $$$ I can provide?

[halfarock]

If the priority traits don't gel to what she's looking for, 10,000 gigs of confidence won't make that or those particular women become attracted.

 

More wish list items:

 

- Someone with sufficient emotional strength so I can lean on him when need be and isn't afraid to ask for help when he needs it.

- Someone who doesn't need to control or be controlled. A true partner.

- Someone who will make me feel emotionally safe and protected, but who also trusts me enough that I can reciprocate when he needs it.

- Someone who wants a partner, not a mother.

 

This is where confidence comes in. It takes confidence in order to enter into and maintain an equal relationship as true partners. The whole controlling mindset comes out of insecurities.

[FleshNBones]

I still don't buy this argument over uncertain vs Confidence vs Arrogance.

It is fudge space to me.

 

I was once told that I am not interesting enough.

I lack fame and fortune, but so do most guys.

[Darkzen]

I still don't buy this argument over uncertain vs Confidence vs Arrogance.

It is fudge space to me.

 

I was once told that I am not interesting enough.

I lack fame and fortune, but so do most guys.

 

What does that have to do with confidence or lack of? Maybe that person was a gold-digger or you may actually be boring.

 

There's nothing to buy. It exists, I used to go clubbing with a bunch of Army buddies (we'd roll in with a dozen people usually). I was the one who always got women coming up to me and I wasn't the best looking guy there. I had confidence and mystery, I wasn't hitting on girls at all, just hanging out with my boys and ignoring girls for the most part. That right there shows confidence in myself, I'm not there looking to get play. Women picked up on that and constantly asked about me and/or came over and introduced themselves to me.

 

Hell, I'm a little chubby atm and last year after a football game, we as a team, went to hang out at a bar. This girl was hanging out with a bunch of better looking guys from my team, she made the effort to walk over, shake my hand and introduce herself (I'm across the room and not even in the conversation). My buddy was pointing to random people and telling her our names, when this happened. She didn't shake anyone else's hand. I know who I am and don't try to impress anyone... that's confidence and women like that. It tells them you're not putting on an act for their benefit. Although, I'm not insecure either, if a girl walks up to me... I'll be myself and chit-chat... not get nervous or anxious. If I was arrogant, I wouldn't even bother talking to her unless she interested me in someway.

 

People can read a lot more into body language than you may think. It's possible that you're fooling yourself into believing that you're confident and you may not be... also might explain why you're cynical/bitter about the while concept.

[Mustang Sally]

In all honesty though... I am kinda cynical about that. See when you've got something... then you always wonder... does she like me? or the $$$ I can provide?

Hey - Here's a newsflash: Maybe she likes both?

I make a good enough living for myself and my kids, but I sure appreciate my H's financial contribution, as well. (And he appreciates mine.)

 

If you have a real fear of potential gold-diggers, why don't you look for an independent woman, who can provide for herself first, regardless of your salary?

[hot1234]

Girls on this board. What are the things you look for in a guy? Good looks, great body? What makes you say woooooooooooooooooooow can't live without him.

 

I mean I know everyone's different so what works for you guys might be different for someone else but if I try to get a little something chances are I'll hit the one quality that my girl 's looking for.

For me personally ...a man that has the right mix of a few things like intelligence , confidence (not arrogance) loyalty, individuality, has to make me laugh of course and beyond a doubt has got to have mojo....in the beginning stages if I dont crave him its pretty much a good friendship from that point...as far as the physical...ive never liked what most women consider "hot men"...i have weird turn ons....so all of us have a different idea of what is a turn on....

[brothermartin]

All very nicely put ladies. I think women do look for all those things in a man.

But... you all failed to mention one little quality that most women will not mention when asked this very same question. The one thing that can make or break any chance of a guy having a shot at that special woman that he's had his heart set on. That one thing is, MONEY.i.e. SECURITY. I posess many of those qualities that were mentioned. But my girlfriend left me because I had trouble balancing a checkbook. This is'nt to say that ALL women are just out to score the next Donald Trump, not at all. But all men are not niave enough to believe that a woman will give up the chance at a solid retirement portfolio

for looks, chemistry, and confidence.

[hot1234]

All very nicely put ladies. I think women do look for all those things in a man.

But... you all failed to mention one little quality that most women will not mention when asked this very same question. The one thing that can make or break any chance of a guy having a shot at that special woman that he's had his heart set on. That one thing is, MONEY.i.e. SECURITY. I posess many of those qualities that were mentioned. But my girlfriend left me because I had trouble balancing a checkbook. This is'nt to say that ALL women are just out to score the next Donald Trump, not at all. But all men are not niave enough to believe that a woman will give up the chance at a solid retirement portfolio

for looks, chemistry, and confidence.

Well....I can only speak for me... and my ex husband was working in a factory when we met...but he was driven and responsible -fast forward a few years and he had reached a point that most wouldnt believe possible financially -I was with him when neither of us had much and I really admired him for his determination above his income.

[RecordProducer]

Personally I believe someone that's single will always have more integrity than someone that's in a relationship.

It's like saying that someone who talks is always less likely to be honest than someone who keeps his mouth shut.

[travelinjan]

I look for.....

[COLOR=red][FONT=serif]ok[/FONT][/COLOR]

here is the list....

personality

sense of humor

compassion

patients

gentleness

motivation

goals in life

his own opinions

his own thoughts

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]spontaneity[/FONT][/COLOR]

responsibility

 

gee now I know why I am single!!!

[monkey00]

Most of these responses are pretty on point...nothing too unrealistic.

[Trialbyfire]

Sorry, just feeling snarky today!

 

In all honesty though... I am kinda cynical about that. See when you've got something... then you always wonder... does she like me? or the $$$ I can provide?

I won't dispute that, whether it's money or any other superficiality. Everyone has their own set of values.

 

To clarify, I'm not interested in supporting or being supported by anyone else. If that makes me mercenary because I expect a man to be self-supporting, then so be it.

 

This is where confidence comes in. It takes confidence in order to enter into and maintain an equal relationship as true partners. The whole controlling mindset comes out of insecurities.

While you and I don't always see eye-to-eye on things, I fully agree with this.

[RecordProducer]

I used to think the same. Until I realized I was confident as you say, and women were not interested. When it hits you what I`m saying, you will see the world completely different. The more deeply I considered what the meaning of the word confidence was, the more it became obvious, no one is really looking for confidence.

 

There are people who have this sort of confidence you speak of, and people despise them.

 

More precisely what women would likely be looking for are clones. That is about as close as I can say. It is some sort of objective fantasy that some , perhaps talented actors, have learned to mimic.

I partially agree. The charming mask is not indicative of true confidence. But then again, there are different levels of confidence, depending on how deep you scratch the surface. A commitment phobe can, at the same time, be a charming playboy and a very insecure person in the core of his psyche.

 

But, I believe that a person whose general disposition is negative cannot be confident. Don't mix assertiveness with confidence. Some people are more introvert than others and unfortunately that paints them as insecure and cold. But that's not necessarily true of them. Some of the most passionate writers speak and act like shmucks.

 

I don't know why, but I really believe that the more open-minded and free-spirited the more confident one is. I think insecurity comes from the inability to process obstacles and overwhelming emotions. In other words, a person with a defective character (e.g. selfish or too stubborn) processes information through the prism of their own moral values - and in their inner system, things should be their way. If they are not their way, it's a disaster. This makes their life slow-motioned, because they process the disaster very meticulously and with great seriousness in their minds. Such feelings burn them and they don't have the capacity to replace the energy with other good things, because the cycle repeats and nothing ever seems right.

[DutchGuy]

I look for.....

[COLOR=red][FONT=serif]ok[/FONT][/COLOR]

here is the list....

personality

sense of humor

compassion

patients

gentleness

motivation

goals in life

his own opinions

his own thoughts

[COLOR=green][FONT=serif]spontaneity[/FONT][/COLOR]

responsibility

 

gee now I know why I am single!!!

 

Those damn doctors get all the women!

 

[Mary3]

Chemistry ! .........

Confidance

Tall

Strong

handsome

Generous

Good Heart

GREAT IN BED !

[MaryMary]

What a woman says and what a woman does are 2 completely different things Mexican, so take their advice with a grain of salt. Don't take offense ladies, but you say you want a romantic guy, he gives you flowers, you lose interest . In my experience, & the experiences of others, the qualities that attract women are:

 

- Confidence

- Friendly personality

- Hygiene/Well groomed

- Style/Fashion sense to some degree

- Status

- Income

- Looks

 

I've ranked the qualities in the importance that women seem to view them in. Of course you'll get your gold diggers that view income as the number 1 trait, or the girls that will only be with Mr X because he is in a band/a rockstar (i.e status) etc.

 

All I can say is be confident in yourself, pursue your ambitions, don't take ***** from anyone, and the women will flock to you.

 

I have to admit you're very right....I love a romantic guy, but if he starts to go overboard I lose interest. I think the key is balance....if they are attentive toward you but have their own life, if they are romantic but not total wimps, if they are sensitive when you need them to be but still love their football, that is ideal. And you were right about confidence....that really is number one. following that I would say someone who is as intelligent as you that you can carry on a deeper conversation with than discussing the weather!

[sunshinegirl]

Interesting discussion over what confidence means.

 

For me confidence means, in part, that my BF is not the least bit threatened by my career, my brain, or my income. He is really proud of me and doesn't give a rat's ass that I make more than he does.

 

Because he's self-confident, he's able to treat me as an equal (he doesn't put me on a pedastal due to an inferiority complex; nor does he cut me down because of an inferiority complex). At the same time, he is very much a caretaker - he's really attentive to how I'm feeling, and among other things always makes sure I am well fed and watered. When I first met him, another thing that stood out is that he is extremely tender and affectionate with his 6-year old daughter.

 

That he is unbelievably good looking and awesome in bed are perks...icing on the cake.