lexi29 Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 So my bf of 3 yrs told me a week ago he didn't want to be with me. There was some back and forth- him saying he needed more time the very next day after he told me. I did not contact him for 3 days (it was hell as I was used to seeing him and his son every day and we hadn't gone more than 24 hours in the last 3 years without talking) so after those three days I called him told him I didn't want any more time for him to think about it-that I was ending it. (it was torture waiting for him to decide if he wanted to be with me so I decided to but me out of my misery by making it final.) He was very suprised, didnt' know what to say to this. He asked me to come get my stuff. I did. I didn't try to look nice for him or anything just wanted to go there and get it done. Should mention that we last had sex 3 days ago (before no contact started) Wel I got there and his son was there and my bf (ex now I guess) kept telling me how great I looked and he'd forgotten how hot I was and giving me all these great compliments. We talked for awhile and even right in front of his son he kept kissing me, rubbing my shoulders, grabbing my ass, telling me how good my butt looked in my jeans etc. (his son is 8). he had told me I can still see his son so I didn't want to say good bye to him. My bf sent his son to the neighbors house (so I could get my stuff and not upset him as he's very attached to me) and I got my stuff together. My bf kept asking if I'd met someone else already because I looked so good and he thougth I was going on a date. I was just wearing what I normally do and had my hair pulled back same as always but my bf was acting like he'd been around some really plain or unattractive women lately and had forgotten how hot I was (not being stuck on myself, just saying thats how he was acting) He kept sticking his hands down my shirt trying to tease me, kissing me etc. Wanted me to have goodbye sex with him. I wasn't interested. We had a great sex life but I knew having sex with him would make me feel closer to him and make the break up harder. So I kept saying no. Well he pulled out all the stops, he did a strip tease, flashed me, he even started jerk**ng off which is something he knows turns me on instantly. Well after about ten minutes of me saying no (but yeah I was lovin the attention) I finally agreed. It was so good. He did tons of foreplay, did everything I love and made sure I had fun three times. The entire time he kept praising my body, telling me how good it felt etc. Was really intense. Afterward we cuddled and then took a shower together so it was very intimate. I still figured this was goodbye but now had a little bit of hope. Was confused by him. Especially when he asked if I wanted to be FWB and meet him again on wed. i said I'd have to think about it- I mean he' s only the third guy I've ever slept with and the sex between us is really good so its tempting. So I said I'd think about it. I ended up leaving a pair of shorts and some stuff there at his house (because he wanted me to come back and I took that as a good sign) I should also point out that he still had my picture on his night stand. Should also mention that he asked me if I was seeing anyone yet (yeah in three days) and I said no why are you? beccause he told me about this hot neighbor lady coming over for drinks on friday) and he said no he's not he just wanted to be single for awhile. Anyhow this was on sat. on monday he called me told me he was definately done. to come get my stuff. he was really upset that I hadn't called him back right away. So I am very confused by his behavior at this point. he said he was telling everyone on tuesday that we had broken up (yesterday) Well their is this friend of "ours". It is someone he dated when he was 13 (he's 30 now) that he met up with again this summer. She and he and I hung out twice. she calls or texts me maybe once a week. Well yesterday I thought I'd text her to tell her about the break up. Told her and told her he was confusing me (i considered her a casual friend). She asked why. I told her that we'd had sex on wed and sat and told her all about his behavior (being all over me, practically begging for sex, doing everything to turn me on, complimenting me etc.) told her it was weird that he was acting like that and then decides (again) that he doesn't want to be with me. She kept asking for more details (this was done thru text messages) so I gave them to her thought it was girl talk. Well turns out She is the other woman!!! OH MY. He told me it was over on tuesday (last week was the first time he told me it was over) started dating her on Friday. She spent all day friday with him but they didnt' have sex yet. She said it was the happiest day of her life that he was so good to her. Well on saturday (not even 24 hours after he was so sweet to her) he had sex with me. And if it was the situation where I had gone over there trying to seduce him or even acting interested in sleeping with him then I might have understood him slipping up and giving in to me but the thing is I went over there with NO interest in sleeping with him. he was the one who was instantly practically attacking me with lust. What a creep. He can't even date her for two days without cheating on her!! Not that I feel bad for her. She pretended to be my friend to get closer to him. Karma baby. When she found this out-and I made sure to give her all the dirty details (guess the sex they had later that night- sloppy seconds for her) wasnt as good. she was devastated. And I've been there and know how much it hurts. My ex tried to lie his way out of it. blamed it on me lying to try to break them up. Ha! I called him and recorded the conversation. he was stupid enough to talk about how great the sex was on saturday with me and that he couldnt' help himself. That he didn't tell me about her (that he was dating her ) because he didnt' want to hurt me and he knew I wouldn't have sex with him if he was taken. I asked him didnt he think it would hurt HER that he slept with me? (she's had a hard life, has a 2 year old daughter, a lot of problems) he said YES he KNEW it would hurt her but he didn't care because he wanted sex and I looked so damned good he couldn't help himself. I got it all on tape. I told her I had it on tape and as soon as my ex heard that he confessed to her. That was the last thing I heard from her. That he finally admitted it (8 hours of him lying to her when she asked). She can have him. Yeah I still miss the good times but I am actually relieved that he's someone else's problem now. His response was SHE wasn't supposed to find out about saturday. So basically I guess he is the type of human being that things he can do what he wants- as long as he can hide it. I mean he just told her on friday that he would never hurt her because of all she'd been thru and less than 24 hours after they start dating he has sex with me?? and he did it even though I wasn't interested at first, even though I asked if he was seeing anyone else, even though he knew he was going to see her later that night. ha! I know I"m angry and probably why I"m taking pleasure in her pain but WHY would he do that? Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 Why? You answered that for yourself: So basically I guess he is the type of human being that things he can do what he wants- as long as he can hide it. He's a selfish pig, that's why, and he believes he's entitled to whatever he can get away with, no matter who he hurts and who he has to lie to. I'm sorry he did this to you, and I hope that you will at least be free of wishing you would get back together - guys like him don't change...they just try to lie better the next time. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 Get yourself to a doctor and get an STD test done. He is selfish and hurt two women! I am sorry and I know it hurts, but honestly, you're better off without him! Fact too, that he asked you if you were seeing someone already was the clue that he had someone too...He just wanted to see your reaction. What a fool he is! The thing is, I feel for his son...And he definately isn't thinking of his son right now, and that's sad. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lexi29 Posted October 10, 2007 Author Share Posted October 10, 2007 I just don't understand why if he had any feelings for her at all (and he MUST becasue he left me and our life together for her) then why in the world would he be willing to risk all that? I mean he couldn't even keep it in his pants 24 hours after he started dating her. and I'm under no delusions that I'm just so wonderful and smokin hot that no man can resist me so its not that! I mean to be honest I have a much much nicer body than she does and I'm cuter and he's even commented on that when he met her again after the 13 years they hadn't seen eachother. I guess she used to be really really hot when she was about 14 when they dated. She had a tight little dancer's body and thats what he remembered and now she's had a kid and put on about 60 lbs. so while I"m 5ft and 100 lbs but with curves she's about 5'2 145 lbs. So I can understand why he wouldn't be as physically attracted to her (sorry but putting her down makes me feel better) but anyway he didn't do it because I"m so tempting no man can keep his hands off me, he didnt do it because he still had feelings for me. He did it because he thought he could get way with it. But why woudl he jeopardize a brand new relationship with her? Just doesn't make sense. I mean he is aware that she and I talk about once a week or so. so its not like his new woman was some stranger I'd never come in contact with. Is he really that stupid or does he just not give a sh*t about anyone but himself. Link to post Share on other sites
SarahBeth04 Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 This guy sounds like a total loser. You should be thrilled he dumped you. And this guy is 30? Sounds like some high school crap to me. Girl, erase his number from your phone and mind, forget his address and move on. You are so much better off. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 I just don't understand why if he had any feelings for her at all (and he MUST becasue he left me and our life together for her) then why in the world would he be willing to risk all that? I mean he couldn't even keep it in his pants 24 hours after he started dating her. He did it because he hadn't had sex with her yet - which meant he hadn't had sex since the last time you and he had sex, so he was horny and you were there and he saw an opportunity to get some and tried for it and got it. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but that's all it is. And he probably didn't think he'd really risk anything with the new gf because they had just started seeing each other and hadn't had sex yet, so he figured he could talk his way out of any major trouble even if the new gf found out. He's a user and a loser. Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 lexi29, I realize women that don't understand this are easily confused about it, but men are really good about separating sex and emotions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lexi29 Posted October 12, 2007 Author Share Posted October 12, 2007 lexi29, I realize women that don't understand this are easily confused about it, but men are really good about separating sex and emotions. I wasn't trying to imply that I thought he still had feelings for me. I know men can separate sex and emotions. I'm not under any delusions that it was any more than sex. And yes they may have had sex already. THey dated when they were 14 and had sex way back then so I'm pretty sure they probably had sex on Thursday (the day they started dating) I'm not sure though just guessing. I mean she was devastated by finding out he slept with me. So either she'd already slept with him or he'd told her he loved her. (or both). I just didn't understand why he would risk this new relationship by taking a chance at losing her only TWO days after they started dating. Its pretty scary because he pursued me. he had so many opportunities to stop himself. I mean I said no three times, his son was there and he deliberately sent him away (so this was planned) I mean he would have done anything to get me to sleep with him. Two days after he tells his new girl he loves her he can't keep his hands off of me. Doesn't he have any respect for her? And she's been thru so much. Been hurt by so many people and been depressed and he was trying to "save" her. So why would someone betray someone they supposedly care about that way? I mean he couldn't even go two days without being unfaithful. Crazy. I'm so glad I'm done with him. I should actually thank her for taking him away. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 It sounds like he just wanted to prove to himself that he could still have you! I wouldnt put much thought into this guy. He just doesnt seem worth it! Link to post Share on other sites
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