wkj123 Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 I have n ever been in this situation before, but almost two years ago, I met the love of my life. I am in my low 30's and was married once before (that ended with my Ex-wife cheating on me). After my divorce, I didn't really know if I wanted to take the chance of getting hurt again. Until that one day, when I met this women. I was speechless, my heart was racing, palms were sweaty and I felt like I had a stomach full of butterflies. I know they say that "You'll just know" when you fall in love, but I never believed it until I saw her (she is married and has been for 6 years). We became friends through work and then noticed that we were starting to hang out at work a lot more then normal. I wasn't going to say anything, but I couldn't go on any longer keeping my feelings in. So one day I told her how I felt about her. I wasn't sure what to expect but she said that she had simialr thoughts about me. We both knew that that's where it had to end and it did....for awhile. Throughout that year those feelings continued to grow on both ends. Then one day I kissed her. My knees almost buckled from the amazing feeling that went through my body. I had never felt something so strong before. She felt the same way. She was not sure why, but she did. She did not have any problems at home and was wondering why she was "falling" for me. She is not sure what to do as she also has never felt what she feels for me. So my question is this....Knowing in my heart that she is the one for me, what do I do? I want us to be together like I know we are supposed to be, but on the other end, she is married and she doesn't want to hurt her husband. She has admitted that their marriage is not perfect (and none are) but she does say that she does not find him sexually attractive any more and does not know how to tell him of if she should. So what do two people do that know they are meant for eachother when their is a marrage involved? Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 The one that is married gets divorced. Link to post Share on other sites
lovelorcet Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 I don't know man... It sounds like you are setting yourself up for a kick in the balls. Leave her alone to sort out her marriage, if she wants to be with out then she will do that. There is a big chance that she is just attention whoring with you and enjoys the excitement. A woman who doesn't know what she wants is just going to cause you a lot of heart ache... Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 So what do two people do that know they are meant for eachother when their is a marrage involved? End the marriage, and start a new life together. Anything less, and you were only meant to be together in the limited context of an affair. It is unfortunate that you fell victim to one cheater. Now you are walking directly into the life of another one. Protect your heart. You'll need to set aside some little part that she can't get to in order to break. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 Sounds stupid! You are obviously strongly attracted to women who like to cheat. Like the others said... if you want a shot with this woman, make sure she has the divorce papers in hand! Otherwise your just going to be a bandaid/boy toy. Your a man right? Demand more! Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 Oh, and you call her the love of your life? Here's something you better be prepared for if you decide to pursue an affair with her. When her husband finds out, she's probably going to kick you to the curb. So do like LB said and protect your heart. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmasMuse Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 I've found the love of my life....but she is married! Then I don't think she's the love of your life. I think you might be just caught up in the grass looks greener syndrome. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 End the marriage, and start a new life together. Anything less, and you were only meant to be together in the limited context of an affair. Exactly. If she has fallen inlove with you and feels whatever it is between you two is strong enough, she'll end her marriage and be with you. The thing that I don't understand is, seeing as your 1st wife cheated on you (and I take it that is why the marriage ended), you know all about the pain, anger and betrayal... I'm sure alot of your anger too, was directed at the OM your wife had the affair with, fact that he knew she was married, and yet still pursused her, let whatever happen...With that being said, you know this woman is married and aren't respecting that boundry. It's wrong of her to let you kiss her, just like it was wrong of you to try to kiss her. Fact is, she's a married woman and these days, that seems to mean nothing. Sure, you've fallen inlove with her, and she feels alot too - But, is that enough for her to give up what she has in her life now? To rid of her husband, turn his life upside down, to ruin her children's lives, because she's met someone that makes her heart beat abit faster? Im' sure her marriage and her life was happy enough before you came into her life......Now, it's going to be a messy situation, she's been put in a situation, by choice, just like you, to hurt people, let alone herself. I can't tell you to go for it, but I will suggest that you tell her how you feel again, then say goodbye. If she feels what she has with you is worth it, she'll end her marriage. If you want to do this the right way, leave her alone to sort out her life...And if she doesn't come to you, that means that she wants to stay with her husband and live the life she's created with him and her family. Link to post Share on other sites
EDDO Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 Whichwayisup said it better then I could. Well better said without saying. WHAT THE HELL are you doing man? After all the pain you got when your wife cheated on you, then you go and try to start the same thing with another mans wife? You had NO RIGHT to even start this with her never mind kissing her too. When all hell breaks, do you really think she will be running to you? No, she will be devastated that she hurt her husband and their marrage. You even said that her marrage was good but not perfect, yet you want to distroy peoples lifes just cause you think "she is the one". Give me a break already. Have some class and back off as you are becoming what you have hated in your past !!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
SueBee3490 Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 Whichwayisup said it better then I could. Well better said without saying. WHAT THE HELL are you doing man? After all the pain you got when your wife cheated on you, then you go and try to start the same thing with another mans wife? You had NO RIGHT to even start this with her never mind kissing her too. When all hell breaks, do you really think she will be running to you? No, she will be devastated that she hurt her husband and their marrage. You even said that her marrage was good but not perfect, yet you want to distroy peoples lifes just cause you think "she is the one". Give me a break already. Have some class and back off as you are becoming what you have hated in your past !!!!!! This is what my H did. He cried on my shoulder about how his ex-wife cheated on him and how it made him feel - because he knew the pain of cheating from his ex cheating on him - he turns around and cheats on me!! I told him I didn't believe she was the one that cheated in his 1st marriage - he probably was! As everyone has said, if this was meant to be, she will get a divorce first. Link to post Share on other sites
jophil28 Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 WHAT THE HELL are you doing man? After all the pain you got when your wife cheated on you, then you go and try to start the same thing with another mans wife? Have some class and back off as you are becoming what you have hated in your past !!!!!! THis is golden advice from EDDO. You are supposed to be A MAN with the ability to reason and make GOOD choices. You are the one here who is best equpped to stop this NOW, Cheating exists along a continuum and when she kissed you ( she did it voluntarily ) she moved further along it. Let me give you some advice , NEVER get in a triangle. Sane people do NOT get in triangles. Someone always gets hurt -always .. NEVER, EVER get involved with a woman who is still connected to another guy. Why? Two reasons - Firstly because most times the woman is using you for an ego boost.. You are like her "air bag" she keeps you hidden and you deploy when she needs you . That is UNMANLY dude. Men are not on this planet to supply women with an ego-gasm. Secondly,if she will do this WITH you, she will do it TO you. Bail before you get in deeper. Find an AVAILABLE good woman who is deserving or your time and affection. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Hmmm, been there, had the opportunity to do that! And I never did it! Get what I'm saying. I've had plenty of opportunities to F married women me being a young 26 yr old guy. But you know what? I had integrity and a heart not to. Why because the pain of infidelity, was more significant than than the pleasure of my penis! You get me? She doesnt feel you, it's lust. Pure and simple. She cheats on her husband with you, what happens when the luster wears off and wants more? You gonna give it to her? Will she end up leaving you to go back to her husband. Sometimes. Will you cheat to get out of the relationship especially when you see her true nature? Most definitely. Trust me. Leave married women alone. You dont want no crazy husband showing up on your job almost killing you, slandering you in front of your bosses. Cheating implies lack of character and lack of compassion for others. Dont be what your ex-wife was. Find a single woman to F with!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
BentSpine Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 No human is another person's property. She is a grown woman and would have discouraged you if she wanted you to leave her alone. And if you meet her needs, she will have no reason to look further than you. Perhaps you should continue to woo her to see if your connection can grow even stronger. Link to post Share on other sites
jophil28 Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 I dont want to say "I told you so " in the near future so I will say this NOW. Dump her and get some self respect and find another women who is AVAILABLE . HOw can you claim to be a man and be in this situation - MEN do not lust after other men's wives in the way that you are. You have crossed boundaries. She is married to another guy who is still ph**king her. They stiil live together and sleep together. She belongs to HIM. ( until they are divorced -if ever) You are being used as an emotional tampon- she knows that you are hooked in, and she is playing you for ego inflation and attention. Her marriage is still intact -so you need to walk away and rehabilitate yourself from this destructive addiction. Your brain chemicals and hormones are running you. Let your MALE reasoning lead you out . Link to post Share on other sites
Whyme_wtf Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 Please walk away. the sooner the better. How does it feel to be used and know she will just enjoy you for sex. That is all this is about, ego and physical needs. She has a husband. How would you like it? She will not leave, so get out now.... Grow some real balls and stop this thought of "met the love of my life" crap. Link to post Share on other sites
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