faith82 Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 my bf and i broke up about month and a half ago.. we met up for the first time yesterday and it was okay. we argured a little bit..but for the most part we didnt fight. he said he was still angry with me. But that I was still in his mind and that he did miss me and think about me during the month of not talking or seeing eachother. BUt then everytime i ask him do u like me..he says no. But then why does he tell me im still in his mind..which is why i just need to stay away so i dont hinder him in any way. Ive hurt his pride a lot during our relationship and i know hes still angry at me since he was patient with me for 2yrs. he always did everything and anything for me and now i want to return the favor. I was always the one acting all irrational like the way he is now...and he was always by my side saying he was gonna keep being there and make it work. Everytime i gave in and stayed with him. But, now that he finally lost his cool with me for the first time in 2yrs..i want it to be my turn to pursue him or something. I want to show him that i really do appreciate him and honor him as a man. if ur gf hurt ur pride would you act all mean to her and push her away as well? what can a girl do to get through to the guy. He has definitely put this wall up between us. He is one of the most emotional and sensitive guys i have ever known, but right now he is so stubborn and wont cave in at all. Doesnt show me anything. So, my question is what you guys think from the way he is acting. And waht i can do to earn that respect back from him. And is it bad if i try to pursue and do everything for him now? or will that be a turn off? any suggestions would help. Im meeting him again on fri to talk to our pastor. I dont know if its gonna do anything cuz he said he just doesnt want to date AND needs to put God before me...what do i do? is he just putting up this front cuz he doesnt want to get hurt again? Link to post Share on other sites
Blurple Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 I did the same thing to my gf... just give him time to be mad and let everything out. the less you are around now is better. When he is ready to talk like yesterday dont bring anything up be the girl he feel for and thats it. Still when you can be there for him and accommodate his needs. Please dont act like a door mat to him. however you need to stay in contact.. What my gf did was thought email. she kept me updated on what was going on with her. So that when we started talking again we didnt feel so distant well that is my 2c keep us updated on how things go with the pastor Link to post Share on other sites
Author faith82 Posted October 11, 2007 Author Share Posted October 11, 2007 blurple..did you get back together with her? Link to post Share on other sites
Blurple Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Yes then i broke up with her because she was going crazy on me and stalking me.. then i am trying to get back together with her!!! Link to post Share on other sites
birdie Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 the original post sounds a little bit like my situation with an ex. I don't think I treated him badly at all and definitely not like a doormat but I know I hurt his pride a little bit because I can be quite straight up and direct (not abusive!!) and he is fairly sensitive and not that experienced with relationships (younger than me). I tried to do what Blurple mentioned too, ie keeping my ex up to date with stuff and try to keep him close while he figured things out. he did come back to me but we never managed to get past the main issue which was communication. so my point is that if he puts up a wall that's not a good thing. has he done that before? do you think that maybe deep down communication is the main issue that's why you kept fighting? Link to post Share on other sites
Author faith82 Posted October 11, 2007 Author Share Posted October 11, 2007 hes younger than me too.. i think he has a lot of insecurities bc of that too. hes never done this before..is it really that bad if he has this wall up? can i not do anything to break that wall??? its his first time acting like this. hes really sensitive but rite now hes nothing like that infront of me. how long long did it take for him to come back to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Blurple Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 It took my about 2 months to come back I think.. The best thing is to tell him how you tell.... explain his feelings and then after that wait for him to contact you.... that means do not text him call him IM or anything you need to fall off what earth for a little while. Link to post Share on other sites
birdie Posted October 13, 2007 Share Posted October 13, 2007 hes younger than me too.. i think he has a lot of insecurities bc of that too. hes never done this before..is it really that bad if he has this wall up? can i not do anything to break that wall??? its his first time acting like this. hes really sensitive but rite now hes nothing like that infront of me. how long long did it take for him to come back to you? the reason why a wall is bad that it means the two of you can't resolve conflicts together. it could be that he is a bit too immature (like my ex) and doesn't have the sort of life experience that you have. if somebody is in a different place from you in his life, there isn't anything you can do about that. you can't force him to 'grow up'. it took him only 3 weeks before he came back but by that time I realised that it would definitely not work because when he got in touch he didn't want to deal with the issues we had, he just wanted to brush them under the carpet hoping they would go away. of course it doesn't work like that. sorry I can't give you a more upbeat reply Link to post Share on other sites
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