Grape Flowers Posted January 13, 2000 Share Posted January 13, 2000 I am currently dating a guy that I have been with for six years. We have had many problems over the six years. I am now a junior in college and am wondering how I held on this long. I have cheated on him quite a few times. I know that I am wrong for doing this, but I don't know what I should do. We first started dating when I was 15, and now I am 21. I was really young then, and I consider myself to still be young. He is now 24, and because he is older, he is going a little faster than I am. I try to expain to him that I am still young and there are things that I want to do. Afterall, he had the chance. I have so many opportunities lying in front of me, and I want to jump on some of them. I feel like I haven't had as much fun as I would like to, because I have been with him so long. It would be so hard for me to end such a long relationship with him. But I don't know what to do. Should I feel guilty for what I am d Link to post Share on other sites
Elvira Posted January 13, 2000 Share Posted January 13, 2000 You are only 21!!! You shouldn't feel guilty about this cheating. I think you are too young to try to be serious with this guy, especially if you are feeling the need to have fun. Imagine if you were 35, had children, were with the same guy for X number of years you had the same feelings you do now. Better live your young years to the fullest. A guy at 24 isn't the most mature either to be in a serious relationship either, although there are always exceptions. Link to post Share on other sites
Stan Posted January 14, 2000 Share Posted January 14, 2000 It's not a question of whether you should feel guilty about cheating. You simply should no longer be in the relationship. You are young and if you feel like you've got some 'living to do' then let your boyfriend know that. If you've been together for 6 years you should have enough respect for him to be honest about your feelings rather than having to sneak around -- that's not helping either of you. You are only 21!!! You shouldn't feel guilty about this cheating. I think you are too young to try to be serious with this guy, especially if you are feeling the need to have fun. Imagine if you were 35, had children, were with the same guy for X number of years you had the same feelings you do now. Better live your young years to the fullest. A guy at 24 isn't the most mature either to be in a serious relationship either, although there are always exceptions. Link to post Share on other sites
No Longer... Posted January 14, 2000 Share Posted January 14, 2000 Hello -- Although I can't relate to the cheating part, I ended a 5 year relationship when I was a college junior because I still had "things I wanted to do." I was 21 then also, and let me tell you -- letting go of that situation enabled me to live life to the fullest and really discover a lot about myself, have a whole lot of fun, and get a better idea of what (and who) I wanted out of life. I am now 26 and thanks to giving myself that freedom for a number of years, I know inside that I am "ready" to commit once the right person comes along. My ex and I were together for a lot of formidable years, but I can't tell you how important it was for us to step away from each other. The decision ended up being right for her too -- she met the man she was supposed to marry a couple years after our relationship. Let this go and live. You will regret it if you do not. Good luck! It's not a question of whether you should feel guilty about cheating. You simply should no longer be in the relationship. You are young and if you feel like you've got some 'living to do' then let your boyfriend know that. If you've been together for 6 years you should have enough respect for him to be honest about your feelings rather than having to sneak around -- that's not helping either of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiser Woman Posted January 14, 2000 Share Posted January 14, 2000 If you consider what you're doing as cheating, then at the very least you owe it to this guy to break off with him. If you want to tell him you don't want to be with him exclusively but you still want to date him that's fine but he deserves either your full attention and commitment or a "Dear John" talk. You are both very young and there is a big wide world out there for both of you. While he may be committed to you at this point, he, too, will probably eventually get to thinking about what he may be missing as he is young too. It just concerns me that you're staying with him and cheating on him... this isn't a pattern you want to establish for future relationships, it only leads to lots of heartbreak. And a word of caution... if you're sleeping with other guys BE CAREFUL and make sure you are protected!! Link to post Share on other sites
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