how to stop my family from pressuring me about my soon-to-happen wedding?

[tontitadeamor]

OK. I'm new in this forum (Hi to everyone) and I would like to share what's going on with me with all of you.

 

I am into this LDR for almost 2 years now and I met this guy (who practically i met by myspace but I was introduced him by his friend who came down to my country from the US) and during all this time, though we had been very good friends from the beginning, we always liked each other. We kept in contact, everything pretty good so he decided to come and visit me. It was like first click and he felt in love with me; that happened on Sept last year. after that trip, he said to me that in his second trip, he would bring the engagement ring bc he really wanted me in his life and I meant the world to him. He popped the question in the airport on feb 14th this year. Everything was super great. After that, we were making the plans for our wedding and everything was going great till my family started to pressure me out, especially my mom My situation right now is that I'm not keep attending college here bc my degree is not validate in the US and i would have to start from zero. Anyways, I am taking some regular classes where the certification it's international validated and I am concentrating to get a job so I can have more money for my future and for when I go to the US. Well, bc of this decision I made, I asked my fiance to hold on for me to finish those courses before getting marry bc I didn't want to go to the US without anything (like any degree where I can get a decent job) so he said it was fine and he supported me and that time also would be great for him to take down pending debts from school and he would save up more money for our future and our wedding celebration (that actually, he would be the one paying it for).

 

Nowadays I am very happy with our decision but my family keep putting crazy ideas in my head like bc of what i said to him, he would not want to get marry to me later. also that my mom thinks as long as we are sleeping and being together while hes visiting me and hes not helping me financially (he had offered but i just denied bc I don't feel the need of that - and i do BELIEVE i still have my family with me there) she thinks i am giving way to easy for him. what to do with my crazy familia ? my fiance is so mad at my mom that he wouldn't want her at the wedding but he would respect her assistance. ah! and btw,.. he already applied for a fiancee visa on March this year but still we haven't get any answer. I'm really crossing my fingers cuz I would like that any notification from embassy would be sent around next year lol I really want to finish what i am doing here before moving anywhere else .

[quankanne]

first off, congratulations on your engagement, that's pretty exciting.

 

it sounds like your family is concerned (and rightfully so) because this is a bit … different … for them, it doesn't follow the usual format of "he's here, they're together and making plans together for a life together" that they're used to. ¿Sabes qué? They're not trying to be bad or mean, they just don't get it. So stay strong and continue to work toward your goal of finishing school (smart idea, because you'll be able to bring that to the marriage table) and planning for marriage. Because at this point, it's a matter of trust between you and your man.

 

meanwhile, I think his heart and mind are in the right place if he's doing what he needs (filing fiancée visa) to prepare for your marriage!

 

so, tell your mom that even as you appreciate her concern and worry, she's just going to have to trust you on this one, that you wouldn't do anything intentionally to hurt the family. If she's hard to convince, then so be it. At least she knows without a doubt where you stand.

 

good luck with everything!