the_panda Posted April 28, 2003 Share Posted April 28, 2003 i don't think it's possible for any two male and female friends (heterosexual at least) good friends i mean, to want nothing more. upon reflection, i've noticed i'd get into something with any of my good guy friends, except for 2. and those 2, i have known since i was little, and well, they're like brothers i guess. but i don't know. i think it's just what we are as humans. we always want something more. we have a need to copulate if you will. haha or maybe it's just me. and i'm some sick person, with big friendship developing issues. oh well. if that's how it has to be, i can deal. _____________________________________________ and after saying that, i'm not sure what to do. i think i want a friends with benefits type situation (minus actual sex) with a good friend of mine, and my friend says he's good for it, and i dunno. it's a pretty good friendship, and i don't want to spoil it. and i also don't think i want an actual relationship. but then sometimes i think, maybe i do want to be romantically involved with this guy. but he's already said he doesn't think a relationship would work. but i think it would (but i haven't said that to him) so i don't know what to really do. and i'm not positive on how he actually feels towards me. blah. what should i do? or rather, what suggestions do you have that you feel would be helpful for me to make my decision? thank you all, very very much. [font=century gothic][/font][color=violet][/color] Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 28, 2003 Share Posted April 28, 2003 First of all, I am glad you have a positive attitude regarding copulation. I always liked that word in lier of sexual intercourse, coitus, screwing, fxxking, etc. When I hear that word, I always think....we have to copulate to populate....my favorite rhyme. Now, let's see about your friends with benefits deal. First, you want one minus the sex??? I always thought that sex was part of the FWB deal. So what is your definition of FWB if it doesn't include sex? If you just want to have a friend to kiss and fondle and vice versa, I think that's just a step or two above a normal friendship with a guy. You can still have romance elsewhere. But then it sounds like you may want a romance with this guy....are you wanting romance without copulation? Well, if you have no desire to populate, you need not copulate. If this guy is physically attracted to you, it may be difficult to avoid the sex thing if you get real serious. I think romantic relationships that start out as close friends are always the very best. I think you ought to go for it and just let him know exactly where you want to take it. But I can't tell you much more until I know just what you're looking for in a friendship with benefits. Let me know, please! Link to post Share on other sites
Author the_panda Posted April 28, 2003 Author Share Posted April 28, 2003 when i say i don't want sex, i mean, actual intercourse type sex. i'm not ready for that yet... well, right now, i don't feel ready. so that's what i meant. because yah, FWB has been described many different ways, and i understand that usually it means sex, but that's not the deffinition i'm going by.... i guess it's more "friends with perks" that i'm looking for. haha but yah, i don't know if i can really tell him what i want, because i don't like the idea of complete rejection (i'm still a teen... it's a fear i think all teens have) but yah, i hope that clarifies it for you! <---- that's the coolest thing i think i've ever seen.. hehehe Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 28, 2003 Share Posted April 28, 2003 YOU WRITE: " <---- that's the coolest thing i think i've ever seen.. hehehe" If that's the coolest thing you've ever seen, wait until your FWB buddy takes his clothes off for you. You have absolutely no choice but to let this guy know at some point that going all the way to intercourse is something you will not do. It isn't fair to get him all worked up and then stop him short of desert. However, I see no problem with what you are proposing. I also think you are very wrong that opposite sex friends can't be "just" friends without wanting more. While there may be a mild underlying sexual friction, it won't be acted upon if the relationship has been clearly defined. However, in many cases feelings grow over time in at least one and then they just have to deal with it. But there are many friendships between men and women that just stay that way forever. I think former US attorney general Janet Reno is one who has had lots of male buddies who have never given a thought to having sex with her. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted April 28, 2003 Share Posted April 28, 2003 i don't think it's possible for any two male and female friends (heterosexual at least) good friends i mean, to want nothing more. I disagree. I can assure you that I have quite a few male friends who I have no desire for sex or a relationship with. it's a pretty good friendship, and i don't want to spoil it. Then proceed with caution. Think long and hard before you get into this. Intimacy with someone when you don't have a relationship can have a way of blowing up in your face. but he's already said he doesn't think a relationship would work. Bingo! He is more than happy to make out with you (or whatever your "benefit" is), but he wants nothing beyond that with you. Remember that when you make the decision of whether or not to go through with this. He is not lying. and i'm not positive on how he actually feels towards me. See above. so i don't know what to really do. Are you sure you aren't trying to do this FWB deal because you really like this guy? That's not the way to win him over. It sounds like you really like him and are hoping he will change his mind about having a relationship. Trust me, that is not likely to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
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