skypie Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for five years and everything was great until we moved in together. Gradually we started to argue about things and looking back i emotionally bullied her, threatened to end it many times and criticised her often. After many months of this, my girlfriend snapped and told me she wasnt in love with me anymore. We agreed to try and work on our relationship and over time got it back to where it was before with me accepting how i had behaved was wrong. Then i found out that she had kissed a colleague a few weeks after she snapped with me. During this time she was often crying at work and was discussing our problems with the colleague when it happened. In the past, i have held hands with another girl and have also felt a couple of girls butts whilst i was drunk, i did this when nothing was wrong with our relationship. I still struggle to get over my girlfriend kissing another man despite how i behaved and think she should have been more loyal, on the other hand i think i probably got what i deserved and that im a hypocrite because of my indiscretions. Please could anybody give me their opinions on this as my mind is worn out through thinking about it! Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 I think your bullying her and critiquing everything she die lowered her self esteem. The guy she kissed took advantage of her. He knew she was going through problems with you and tried to make her feel better. I think after what you did and have done you should put this behind you. Start fresh with your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Yup, Either you can get over it and move on... or throw in the towel. If you accept that you both have responisbility in this, and that if you fix your end... this wont happen again... then you have some hope. Also, touching other girls is not something you do in a relationship... either drunk or sober! How do you plan to prevent this behavior in the future? Link to post Share on other sites
Krytie TV Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 It sounds like the two of you are on an even playing field and you should go forward and work on the relationship. Keep doing your part. Link to post Share on other sites
jophil28 Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for five years and everything was great until we moved in together. Gradually we started to argue about things and looking back i emotionally bullied her, threatened to end it many times and criticised her often. After many months of this, my girlfriend snapped and told me she wasnt in love with me anymore. We agreed to try and work on our relationship and over time got it back to where it was before with me accepting how i had behaved was wrong. Then i found out that she had kissed a colleague a few weeks after she snapped with me. During this time she was often crying at work and was discussing our problems with the colleague when it happened. In the past, i have held hands with another girl and have also felt a couple of girls butts whilst i was drunk, i did this when nothing was wrong with our relationship. I still struggle to get over my girlfriend kissing another man despite how i behaved and think she should have been more loyal, on the other hand i think i probably got what i deserved and that im a hypocrite because of my indiscretions. Please could anybody give me their opinions on this as my mind is worn out through thinking about it! Your post is honest and forthright. You "owned" your past blunders and that is admirable. I am not sure what you mean by "emotionally bullied " More info please. You ctiticised her often too? Hmmm, not endearing, my man. However it takes TWO people to repair a damaged relationship. Is your G/f willing to also 'own' her own misdemeanours ? Or is she blaming you for everything ? Her kissing a colleague is mild cheating, as is your grabbing other women-sober or drunk.. YOu two have some amends to make to each other. I Link to post Share on other sites
Author skypie Posted October 12, 2007 Author Share Posted October 12, 2007 Thanks for the replies guys. By 'emotionally bullied' i mean that i would criticise her work around the home and when she came home i would start niggling about something the minute she got in. When the kiss happened, the guy she kissed had asked about our relationship and was telling her that ' no one should be treated like she had been' etc. I do think in a way he took advantage of her being upset, but on the other hand she instigated the kiss after thanking him for listening. Two weeks later the same guy kissed her but she pushed him away and told him she had been upset the first time and she didnt want this. Since i found out about all this (through a friend), my girlfriend has apologised endlessley about what happened and about not telling me( for fear she would lose me). We have been to counselling together and through this have admitted my own indiscretions. I have watched as she has tried anything and everything to make up for what she has done. She is very forgiving of my indiscretions, i only wish i could be more forgiving of hers. Link to post Share on other sites
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