Complicated story.

[BChris66]

Hi all.

 

Not sure what to do with this situation.

 

There's a girl at work who I really fancy, she's the bubbly, giggly, chatty type who right from day one was always very keen to talk and sit with me at work.

 

The problem is that she has been in a relationship for a long time, 7 years and is engaged I believe. I have met the fiance and we get on well, he's a nice guy.

 

However she is not a local here and has come to Ireland with her fiance. But has recently told me that she and her fiance are not getting on as he wants to move back to their native country and she wants to stay here (they only moved here 3 months ago). She has hinted that it might end up with her fiance moving back home and her staying here, she has also been asking me how much rent for a flat is etc. So it seems their relationship is in trouble.

 

She has also requested that I call her by her 'pet' name and the other foreign nationals have told me that it is usually only parents call their child this name, and it would seem that she has 'sympathy' with me, probably as we are the same age, and come from almost identical family backgrounds, however it could also mean that she sees me as someone she can trust and a 'protector', it can also mean she has real feelings for me. I always assumed that this was the same as shortening someones name to be less formal, but it seems to have deeper meaning as no-one else in the company calls her this name.

 

She has also tried to tempt me to the company Chritmas party by promising me 'a drink or two and a dance, but I only know how to slow dance' when i pointed out that her fiance will be present, she said he would be fine with it as he trusts her.

 

However, she has told me that the supervisor, who is also a foreign national, has been trying to chat her up (as he has done with all the new female employees since I started working there 10 months ago, when i told her about his previous flings with every women on the shift, her eyes lit up and she asked me if I really thought something could happen between her and the supervisor) but she declined his advances saying that she had a fiance. But in the recent days and weeks they have seemed to be getting quite close, and her eyes light up and she starts giggling and goes quite bashful at the mention of his name, despite declaring a week ago that she hated him and told him to his face that he was a big-headed, self-centred A-Hole. And she is now blanking me in favor of sitting with the supervisor in the canteen despite the general agreement that he is buttering her up with promises of non-existant promotions to meet his own ends and turn her against the people who will tell her the truth about him. I have also heard rumors from the foreign nationals, that the supervisor might be using her as a mole to see what we are saying about him as she has been asking some very odd questions during breaktimes. And seems to have bouts of deciding to sit with us and blank the supervisor, ask odd questions about what we are planning to do with our future careers before disappearing back to the same area as the supervisor.

 

She has been quite upset this last week or so as the other girls are not being nice to her (not sure exactly why as I don't understand their language, possibly something to do with her new found closeness to the supervisor) and she has been quite tearful, I tried to comfort her and offered her a friendly hug of support after work, but she didn't seem too enthusiastic.

 

I offered to take her and her fiance out on the tiles this Saturday to take her mind off work too, but am not really sure if she will show up and don't know what to do now, she seems to be very touchy feely, come sit with me away from everyone else, call-me-by-my-pet-name, go to the Christmas party so I can take you out for a slow dance one day and then totally blank me the next.

 

Do I walk, and leave her to her own (and the supervisors) devices, do I show her I'm a caring, love machine and do my best to show her I'm a better choice than the supervisor who's only using her, do the noble thing and try to get her back with her fiance who she's been with for 7 years or wait for the supervisor to use and abuse and be the comforting shoulder in 6 months time?

 

Any help appreciated, this is doing my head in.