Mother passed away

[Lila]

About 9 months ago my mom suddenly passed away. Along with the depression and trauma, my family is dealing with money issues. Basically, she had no will.

 

My father, who has been in a steady relationship for 8 months now (or is it longer than that?) took everything. All her retirement savings, life insurance money, belongings, etc. The house was even in her name.

 

Is it right for everything to automatically go to the husband? My brother and sister are older and on their own, but I wasn't quite yet. I'm still in college and I still relied on my mother for help. I'm able to get by, so I'm not in any desparate situation.

 

Here's another tidbit, my father was generous to let me take my mom's car. Actually, everyone talked me into it because I was driving a death trap. Now, he won't sign the car over to me so I can put it in my name and yet I signed my car over to him. Which, by the way, he said he was selling to his girlfriend.

 

Am I wrong to think that there is something wrong? Without a will, does everything automatically go to the husband?

[Tony T]

It depends on the law of the state you reside in but, generally, if there's no will all property will go to the spouse. It's unfortunate but a lot of people fail to properly prepare their estate and the handling of their belongs therefore, by default, is conducted according to provisions of law. I don't think in most cases it's an intentional thing...it's just that people don't like to think about the possibility that they will die. Having wills and trusts prepared is a reminder of their mortality.

 

Your dear old dad sure recovered from his grief quickly but that's another story. He was entitled to receive all of her property and assets.

 

I think there's some funny business with regards to the car. You should consult an attorney immediately. If you had an oral contract in which you signed over your car to your father in return for your mother's car, that contract should be enforceable. Don't take any crap out of him...you need wheels.

 

You don't think your father would leave you without a car, do you? It's in his best interests to get it out of his name, though, because if you have a serious accident and it's your fault he can be sued right along with you.

 

People get really weird sometimes when relatives pass away. I am truly sorry about the passing of your mother.

[HokeyReligions]

I'm very sorry about your mother's passing away. I know how difficult it is and will be for you for a while, and you have my deepest sympathies.

 

Your father might be expressing and enduring his grief in a way that is painful for you and he just does't realize it. When my sister-in-law passed away my brother was dating women a couple of weeks later and moved in with one a month after he was widowed. He was searching for a release from the pain and not being disloyal to his wife of 25 years. He was the opposite though about his possessions. He was giving everything away. He and Lin had my washing machine because theirs broke down a month or so before she died, and he ended up giving that to one of the women he moved in with. He stopped working and lost his business, but eventually recovered and met a wonderful woman who he has been with for 8 years now. He's realized that, while he was angry with me at the time, I was trying to help him and he appreciates it now.

 

When my step-father-in-law's father (that's a mouth full) passed away, his family fought over his money and belongings, even my s-f-i-l's children fought over everything and my s-f-i-l lost a bundle of money and had to come out of retirement. Not that the others got everyting - but the legal costs were very high.

 

My mother refuses to have a will, and her other daughter (El) has let us know that when mom goes, she expects to take whatever she wants. Since my mom lives with me, and has nothing of her own, El thinks that she will be able to walk through our house and just take what she wants. I've already had to hire an attorney and take steps to prevent that when my mom dies, and I have a restraining order against El. I haven't seen El in around 25 years and she's never even met my husband. The last time I saw her, her kids were little and now they are all grown and married with children of their own. I haven't seen or heard from them in as many years either. Sometimes families can be heartbreaking.

 

Consulting with an attorney might not be a bad idea right now for your own protection, but also keep in mind that all of this is quite possibly part of your father's (& yours) grieving process and will change as time goes by.

[Ally Boo]

How horrible. I can't imagine how betrayed you feel and how angry. I'm saying a little prayer for you and your family so you can get this stuff worked out. DEFINATELY talk to a lawyer.