anjushan Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 It's a long post... I've been best friends with this girl J since first grade and (I am 21 now) she was the one who introduced me to my boyfriend 2 years ago. My boyfriend was just coming out of a relationship(tends to move from one to another to avoid being hurt) so he seemed to have signs of being not trustworthy. My family relocated to another state around the same time and I decided to leave my comfortable life, basically throwing everything away for a guy I had only known for 2 months and started working to pay for a living. If I had gone with my family, I would still be spoon-fed by my parent's and what so ever, so understand that I did EVERYTHING for my guy... waited tables worked long hours just to pay bills so I can stay close to him... Beginning of this year, I moved for away for three months to stay with my family but decided that I really wanted to be with him. I started living with his family and it was as if I was "married" into his family. Turns out, my best friend J was already having problems with her boyfriend of three years who so happens to be my boyfriend's best friend. Around July, according to J, my boyfriend and her hooked up while I was sleeping in the other room. Who should I believe? Why wouldn't I trust my best friend of so many years and why should I trust my boyfriend? I already have seen signs of jealousy from her in the past (her family is not very well off) but this is ridiculous. I have done EVERYTHING for her and there is no way she would do me wrong! Should I trust the guy or the girl? Will jealousy drive another girl crazy? Link to post Share on other sites
oppath Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 I'd suggest getting them in a room together and say "you two. What the **** is going on? Don't play me against either of you. That's not fair to me. One of you is lying. Level up." Link to post Share on other sites
buckdawg Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 oy vey that's nasty. oppath's suggestion is a good start then i'd cut my losses and move a little closer to your family. sounds like you're better off without either of them in your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean-Blue Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 It's a long post... I've been best friends with this girl J since first grade and (I am 21 now) she was the one who introduced me to my boyfriend 2 years ago. My boyfriend was just coming out of a relationship(tends to move from one to another to avoid being hurt) so he seemed to have signs of being not trustworthy. My family relocated to another state around the same time and I decided to leave my comfortable life, basically throwing everything away for a guy I had only known for 2 months and started working to pay for a living. If I had gone with my family, I would still be spoon-fed by my parent's and what so ever, so understand that I did EVERYTHING for my guy... waited tables worked long hours just to pay bills so I can stay close to him... Beginning of this year, I moved for away for three months to stay with my family but decided that I really wanted to be with him. I started living with his family and it was as if I was "married" into his family. Turns out, my best friend J was already having problems with her boyfriend of three years who so happens to be my boyfriend's best friend. Around July, according to J, my boyfriend and her hooked up while I was sleeping in the other room. Who should I believe? Why wouldn't I trust my best friend of so many years and why should I trust my boyfriend? I already have seen signs of jealousy from her in the past (her family is not very well off) but this is ridiculous. I have done EVERYTHING for her and there is no way she would do me wrong! Should I trust the guy or the girl? Will jealousy drive another girl crazy? What does your bf have to say about what J said? From your post, I take it that he's denied sleeping with her. So you're left with the classic "she said, he said" scenario. If you care enough, watch for signs (how they interact, etc). See if they slip up and hook up again (if they did in fact do it in the first place). This will take some spying/sneaking around on your part (quite unsavory I'm sure). But if you care enough, this is the only true way you'll know for sure. Otherwise, ditch the two and move back home and start afresh. OR believe him and continue seeing him and ditch the best friend. Link to post Share on other sites
buckdawg Posted October 12, 2007 Share Posted October 12, 2007 What does your bf have to say about what J said? From your post, I take it that he's denied sleeping with her. So you're left with the classic "she said, he said" scenario. If you care enough, watch for signs (how they interact, etc). See if they slip up and hook up again (if they did in fact do it in the first place). This will take some spying/sneaking around on your part (quite unsavory I'm sure). But if you care enough, this is the only true way you'll know for sure. Otherwise, ditch the two and move back home and start afresh. OR believe him and continue seeing him and ditch the best friend. you can tell by the way she worded that first paragraph that she already has a titch of distrust about him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author anjushan Posted October 12, 2007 Author Share Posted October 12, 2007 I'm still with him because financially I can't afford to move out and I also love him... or who knows? maybe i'm scared to move out and be uncomfortable again(bills after bills that need to be paid) All his friends have dumped him and she seems to have turned the tables around to have them point the finger at me and him and say that we ruined the "harmony of [their] group of friends". Basically now everyone is talking smack about him and ME(I am the victim here right?) still willing to hang out with her and her ex plus their "friends". My bf is unwilling to meet her because he wants to avoid "drama" but that just makes me more suspicious. I suspect he is holding on to me because he has no one else left and I still have my group of friends that still care for me. I feel sad and betrayed that the group of friends i made through him would pick the girl who supposedly cheated on her boyfriend with his best friend(my bf) but that would be a different matter. I think about it everyday and it's killing me. I KNOW I am traumatized by it but it's hard to forgive and let go. He denies any cheating but he has confessed that he told her that he felt "attracted to her". What I don't understand is, she is someone who has qualities that repulse him. He hates smokers and cheaters, and even though she acts innocent, I recently found out she cheated on her boyfriend of three years during december, days before his birthday! my bf took her to the hospital to see if she was pregnant.. etc etc. too many secrets... Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts