My Bro

[Lostgurl]

I wasn't sure where to post this, so i figured this place was as good as any since it's a question about whether or not he's seems to be showing signs of improvement.

 

A few weeks ago he downed a bottle of pills and was pretty pissed when he did it. This isn't the first time he's done this, it's the third in his life. I know that the core issue is, as does everyone else in my family. He hides his feelings pretty well, but I knew that he was still hurting because when he drinks, it's like he does it to get numb, not have a good time or to socialize. He drinks VERY fast and doesn't stop until he's completely out of it.

 

He is SUPER introverted when it comes to any feelings of his whatsoever. I think i've been the closest he's come to revealing anything of the sort. But that's not saying much. It would always be me, that he'd come to when things weren't going well with his gf. He'd never say much but he'd come to me, to cheer him up anyway. Or just to hang out and cool down. Thing is, because he's so introverted, I REALLY don't know how to talk to him about this. I've called him once, and that was when he was in the hospital. No one has really talked to him since he's gotten out. Just small talk, usual stuff with him.

 

How do i bring it up? I'm so worried about him. I heard he bought a boat... he's been going to work, and he fixed his truck. He can't be in all that bad of shape right? I mean, if he was serverly depressed, then wouldn't he have no motivatioin to do anything? Wouldn't he not care, about boats, or getting secondary vehicles running, stuff like that?

 

Usually, he'd call us every other day.... but a few monthes ago he jumped my bf. He was just trying to be a big brother in his own way, the only way he knows how to deal with things i guess.. He was trying to watch out for me. I begged him and tried to block im so he couldn't leave. But he slipped out anyway. He went and found him. Ever since, he hasn't called here. I've been meaning to go talk to him about patching things up with the bf. But now it seems even harder, and isn't my greatest concern anymore. I am just terrified that he's going to do this again, and be successful this time. How do i approach him? Do you think he's going to do it again, or does it sound like he's stable enough not to try it again? I know he needs help. I know that he needs councilling. I have NO idea how to get him to go. I don't think anyone can.

[EricOnTheWeb]

How do i bring it up? I'm so worried about him. I heard he bought a boat... he's been going to work, and he fixed his truck. He can't be in all that bad of shape right? I mean, if he was serverly depressed, then wouldn't he have no motivatioin to do anything? Wouldn't he not care, about boats, or getting secondary vehicles running, stuff like that?

 

I do act stupid on here a lot, but I do have a serious side also. I can tell you that with the feelings I have had these past 2 years, I actually liked going to work..it took me away from this place and let me be around people.. I didn't feel so lonely.

 

I bought a race car chassis, a 600 dollar mountain bike, Digital cameras, Radio Control planes...tons of stuff and put myself right into debt. I think I boght those things to make myself feel worth, but I'm not sure yet. I haven't even ridden the mountain bike or used anything I have bought...

 

I have all this stuff, yet I'm still on LoveShack wondering how to get a life, and still not out of the woods. What I am saying is... it doesn't mean your brother is happy just because he bought some stuff.. he is merly trying to take his mind of of the depression. He needs help just like I do.

[Pyro]

I wasn't sure where to post this, so i figured this place was as good as any since it's a question about whether or not he's seems to be showing signs of improvement.

 

A few weeks ago he downed a bottle of pills and was pretty pissed when he did it. This isn't the first time he's done this, it's the third in his life. I know that the core issue is, as does everyone else in my family. He hides his feelings pretty well, but I knew that he was still hurting because when he drinks, it's like he does it to get numb, not have a good time or to socialize. He drinks VERY fast and doesn't stop until he's completely out of it.

 

He is SUPER introverted when it comes to any feelings of his whatsoever. I think i've been the closest he's come to revealing anything of the sort. But that's not saying much. It would always be me, that he'd come to when things weren't going well with his gf. He'd never say much but he'd come to me, to cheer him up anyway. Or just to hang out and cool down. Thing is, because he's so introverted, I REALLY don't know how to talk to him about this. I've called him once, and that was when he was in the hospital. No one has really talked to him since he's gotten out. Just small talk, usual stuff with him.

 

How do i bring it up? I'm so worried about him. I heard he bought a boat... he's been going to work, and he fixed his truck. He can't be in all that bad of shape right? I mean, if he was serverly depressed, then wouldn't he have no motivatioin to do anything? Wouldn't he not care, about boats, or getting secondary vehicles running, stuff like that?

 

Usually, he'd call us every other day.... but a few monthes ago he jumped my bf. He was just trying to be a big brother in his own way, the only way he knows how to deal with things i guess.. He was trying to watch out for me. I begged him and tried to block im so he couldn't leave. But he slipped out anyway. He went and found him. Ever since, he hasn't called here. I've been meaning to go talk to him about patching things up with the bf. But now it seems even harder, and isn't my greatest concern anymore. I am just terrified that he's going to do this again, and be successful this time. How do i approach him? Do you think he's going to do it again, or does it sound like he's stable enough not to try it again? I know he needs help. I know that he needs councilling. I have NO idea how to get him to go. I don't think anyone can.

 

Unfortunately no one can make him go and get help except for himself.

 

You need to stop by his house and in person tell him everything that you just posted on here. Let him know just how scared you are for him and hopefully he will come to his senses and realize that he needs some help.

[Great Gazoo]

I wasn't sure where to post this, so i figured this place was as good as any since it's a question about whether or not he's seems to be showing signs of improvement.

 

A few weeks ago he downed a bottle of pills and was pretty pissed when he did it. This isn't the first time he's done this, it's the third in his life. I know that the core issue is, as does everyone else in my family. He hides his feelings pretty well, but I knew that he was still hurting because when he drinks, it's like he does it to get numb, not have a good time or to socialize. He drinks VERY fast and doesn't stop until he's completely out of it.

 

He is SUPER introverted when it comes to any feelings of his whatsoever. I think i've been the closest he's come to revealing anything of the sort. But that's not saying much. It would always be me, that he'd come to when things weren't going well with his gf. He'd never say much but he'd come to me, to cheer him up anyway. Or just to hang out and cool down. Thing is, because he's so introverted, I REALLY don't know how to talk to him about this. I've called him once, and that was when he was in the hospital. No one has really talked to him since he's gotten out. Just small talk, usual stuff with him.

 

How do i bring it up? I'm so worried about him. I heard he bought a boat... he's been going to work, and he fixed his truck. He can't be in all that bad of shape right? I mean, if he was serverly depressed, then wouldn't he have no motivatioin to do anything? Wouldn't he not care, about boats, or getting secondary vehicles running, stuff like that?

 

Usually, he'd call us every other day.... but a few monthes ago he jumped my bf. He was just trying to be a big brother in his own way, the only way he knows how to deal with things i guess.. He was trying to watch out for me. I begged him and tried to block im so he couldn't leave. But he slipped out anyway. He went and found him. Ever since, he hasn't called here. I've been meaning to go talk to him about patching things up with the bf. But now it seems even harder, and isn't my greatest concern anymore. I am just terrified that he's going to do this again, and be successful this time. How do i approach him? Do you think he's going to do it again, or does it sound like he's stable enough not to try it again? I know he needs help. I know that he needs councilling. I have NO idea how to get him to go. I don't think anyone can.

 

I can relate to your brother in some ways. I like to keep things to myself most of the time and after awhile it does become a burden on yourself. It has also caused me to do things that are very dangerous.

 

The thing about keeping busy is that it keeps things off your mind, sometimes I bury myself in work for that simple reason.

 

I think as Riddler said you should let him know to some extent how you feel about things but don't push anything about counseling on him or it will just turn him off. Just show him you care.

[Great Gazoo]

I do act stupid on here a lot, but I do have a serious side also. I can tell you that with the feelings I have had these past 2 years, I actually liked going to work..it took me away from this place and let me be around people.. I didn't feel so lonely.

 

I bought a race car chassis, a 600 dollar mountain bike, Digital cameras, Radio Control planes...tons of stuff and put myself right into debt. I think I boght those things to make myself feel worth, but I'm not sure yet. I haven't even ridden the mountain bike or used anything I have bought...

 

I have all this stuff, yet I'm still on LoveShack wondering how to get a life, and still not out of the woods. What I am saying is... it doesn't mean your brother is happy just because he bought some stuff.. he is merly trying to take his mind of of the depression. He needs help just like I do.

 

Not to thread jack but I have done this myself, I have tried to buy happiness and it does not work. I have tried to work myself to death and that does not work. It takes a lot of time to find yourself and what truly makes us happy. I hope for yourself Eric that you will one day find true happiness.

[EricOnTheWeb]

Not to thread jack but I have done this myself, I have tried to buy happiness and it does not work. I have tried to work myself to death and that does not work. It takes a lot of time to find yourself and what truly makes us happy. I hope for yourself Eric that you will one day find true happiness.

 

I was just trying to show LostGurl that just because her brother seems happy, by getting all these things, doesn't mean he is happy. I know this for a fact..

 

I know you meant well, Gazoo, but I feel a little selfish from what you wrote..

I had my time, and got support just recently , but I prefer to leave "me" out of this discussion. this is about LostGurl's brother. No offense or anything, just that I feel I've pushed the "feeling sorry" limits to far.

 

He's right though, LostGurl...just show him you care, but don't push. My sister has talked to me about my stuff just a few weeks ago.. It's a good feeling when you know someone is ready to be there for you when the time comes. My sister wil be there.. I know she will. You're a great sister..he should be proud of you.

[Great Gazoo]

I was just trying to show LostGurl that just because her brother seems happy, by getting all these things, doesn't mean he is happy. I know this for a fact..

 

I know you meant well, Gazoo, but I feel a little selfish from what you wrote..

I had my time, and got support just recently , but I prefer to leave "me" out of this discussion. this is about LostGurl's brother. No offense or anything, just that I feel I've pushed the "feeling sorry" limits to far.

 

He's right though, LostGurl...just show him you care, but don't push. My sister has talked to me about my stuff just a few weeks ago.. It's a good feeling when you know someone is ready to be there for you when the time comes. My sister wil be there.. I know she will. You're a great sister..he should be proud of you.

 

Hey thats cool, my bad for not posting in one of your threads, sorry to make you feel selfish.

[Ariadne]

Hi,

 

You have to relate to him in his level.

 

Go to his place and bring a bottle of wine or whatever it is he likes to drink.

 

Don't say a word and start drinking, just listen.

 

Ariadne

[Lostgurl]

I do act stupid on here a lot, but I do have a serious side also. I can tell you that with the feelings I have had these past 2 years, I actually liked going to work..it took me away from this place and let me be around people.. I didn't feel so lonely.

 

I bought a race car chassis, a 600 dollar mountain bike, Digital cameras, Radio Control planes...tons of stuff and put myself right into debt. I think I boght those things to make myself feel worth, but I'm not sure yet. I haven't even ridden the mountain bike or used anything I have bought...

 

I have all this stuff, yet I'm still on LoveShack wondering how to get a life, and still not out of the woods. What I am saying is... it doesn't mean your brother is happy just because he bought some stuff.. he is merly trying to take his mind of of the depression. He needs help just like I do.

 

Hey Eric, No, I'm know that he's not happy. I know that he's dying inside. But I guess i was grasping at strings. Hoping that maybe him buying a boat, and fixing his truck, which is something that he loves to do was a sign that he'd be here... and not try anything stupid again.

 

Unfortunately no one can make him go and get help except for himself.

 

You need to stop by his house and in person tell him everything that you just posted on here. Let him know just how scared you are for him and hopefully he will come to his senses and realize that he needs some help.

 

Yes, I know i need to do that. It's so hard though. I know he's feeling ashamed, and I just don't want to make him feel any worse. I guess that's stupid.. but I do have to go see him.

 

 

I can relate to your brother in some ways. I like to keep things to myself most of the time and after awhile it does become a burden on yourself. It has also caused me to do things that are very dangerous.

 

The thing about keeping busy is that it keeps things off your mind, sometimes I bury myself in work for that simple reason.

 

I think as Riddler said you should let him know to some extent how you feel about things but don't push anything about counseling on him or it will just turn him off. Just show him you care.

 

No, I don't feel comfortable even asking him about councilling. I'm the only one in my family that has ever seen one. WHen i told some of them.. Their reaction was complete surprise. "what!?! your not crazy! You don't need to see a councillor" They think for some reason that you should be nuts to see one. Old fashioned i guess, would be a simple way of putting it.

Hi,

 

You have to relate to him in his level.

 

Go to his place and bring a bottle of wine or whatever it is he likes to drink.

 

Don't say a word and start drinking, just listen.

 

Ariadne

See, now this would be easy. I would have done this, but I don't and can't drink. He used to come over, every time he needed a person beside him. He'd tell us what was wrong, but never how he was feeling.

 

Him and my bf had a falling out, and that makes things kinda awkward. My bro knows that i'm not angry with him. I never was. But it's awkward, nontheless.

[EricOnTheWeb]

I can tell you what my sister did....this was just a few weeks ago. I went over for some reason, and I was sitting there watching TV...she has cable, heheh. Anyways she just out of the blue asked me if I needed to talk. We were always close, but not as close as in recent years. She really cares about me and she gave me the option to talk that night. I didn't say to much, just told her that it is so frigin tough living alone, and wondering why I am having these feelings. She offered for me to move in with them, but I declined.

I haven't told my family nearly what I have told you guys in this thread.... I have pushed them away a lot in the past 2 years, and they are worried.

 

What I am saying is... Just let your brother know that you are ready to help when "he" is ready. That's what my sister let me know, and I wouldn't want to be pushed....My mom really pushes me.. I hate that...She thinks just because I go see a councellor that "bang" all is taken care of. I really cannot talk with mom about this.

 

It's a great relief to know someone is there when you need them.. Just go see your brother and tell him that all is ok between you and him, so if you need to talk you'll be there. I would leave it at that for now. Really show him that you care, give him a hug, and that may even release a ton of emotion plus he may cry.. I know I did when my sister did that to me.

 

If he does try to kill himself again though.... really medical help should be considered, usually at that point it will take more than just family support.

I'd just go hang out with him a lot more...go over with some food or ask him if he'd like to go for a drive or something....just give him all the chances he needs to let on to you about "him" I know that I need to be in the right mood in order to talk about "me" I can't just start talking about it. I recently vented here on LoveShack... I was ready and I felt it... and no one here pressured me to spill it out...they let me do it on my own terms. Just hang out with your brother and really let him know that you are there when he is ready. When he starts to talk, just listen....don't yell or tell him what to do...just be there to listen for now.

 

I really feel for you and your brother, and this drives emotion out of me... He's got a great sister, always remember that ok?.... (((huggs))))

[EricOnTheWeb]

BTW, LostGurl...he has tried to kill himself, and you are afraid he'll be sucsessful at it this time, and I have read that people , when they have made the decision to really want to leave life, that they all of a sudden become happy and show signs of nothing wrong.

 

Just something to consider, and maybe if you think so...maybe start calling around for someone to help you with your brother, if you think he is ready to kill himself.

This is very tough for you...stay strong...and do what you think needs to be done...look into your heart. Again ((((huggs))))

[Lostgurl]

Eric - I have read that people , when they have made the decision to really want to leave life, that they all of a sudden become happy and show signs of nothing wrong.

 

Really? Thats interesting, because i've always heard that the main signs are severe depression and a big one, is that they give all their possesions away.

 

My uncle killed himself, and from what i heard was that he showed signs of depression, but he didn't give everything away, probably because he left a wife and kids behind though. One thing he did do though, was tell someone, but that person called his bluff... and he did it anyway.

 

Thanks everyone, you are all right, I have to just go talk to him. I'm not going to mention councilling or anything. I'll just let him know that i'm here for him.

 

I'm going to stop by his place for a visit this weekend. It is going to be awkward though because his gf and I don't see eye to eye. Awkward Shmokward. I can't stand the way she treats him. He basically worships the ground she walks on, and she walks all over him. Hopefully she won't be there when I go to see him. Man what a messed up situation. She's due next month with his child.

[underpants]

Oh no,

 

Lost this is so sad. My good friend is going through something similiar, but with her Dad. It just makes my stomach flip, because this kind of thing leaves everyone feeling so helpless. I think she is at the point now of just waiting for the tragedy to happen. He has been intervened, confronted, loved and in rehab several times. It is just a very terrible thing to see her struggle with. It makes me not like her Dad very much. At the very least he is just too sick and that is a shame.

 

Is your brother excited about becoming a Dad? Maybe enough to make some changes? Like drinking less or not at all for a while/ever. Drinking fuels depression. Also, if your uncle killed himself it is very likely that depression runs in the family. It is nothing to be ashamed of and it does not make someone 'crazy' for seeking help, or meds that could lift that veil.

 

If you talk to him. Suggest that. Taking a chance on feeling better is at least an action. If he feels that bad he should take an action to change some things in a postive manner. Buck up bro.

 

He is going to have a child. He is going to be an Uncle to your baby. This can and should be a positive time in his life.

 

Good luck Lost. At least you are strong enough to face your demons through counciling. Encourage your brother to take some steps. If he doesn't then, at least you tried.

[Lostgurl]

Oh no,

 

Lost this is so sad. My good friend is going through something similiar, but with her Dad. It just makes my stomach flip, because this kind of thing leaves everyone feeling so helpless. I think she is at the point now of just waiting for the tragedy to happen. He has been intervened, confronted, loved and in rehab several times. It is just a very terrible thing to see her struggle with. It makes me not like her Dad very much. At the very least he is just too sick and that is a shame.

 

Is your brother excited about becoming a Dad? Maybe enough to make some changes? Like drinking less or not at all for a while/ever. Drinking fuels depression. Also, if your uncle killed himself it is very likely that depression runs in the family. It is nothing to be ashamed of and it does not make someone 'crazy' for seeking help, or meds that could lift that veil.

 

If you talk to him. Suggest that. Taking a chance on feeling better is at least an action. If he feels that bad he should take an action to change some things in a postive manner. Buck up bro.

 

He is going to have a child. He is going to be an Uncle to your baby. This can and should be a positive time in his life.

 

Good luck Lost. At least you are strong enough to face your demons through counciling. Encourage your brother to take some steps. If he doesn't then, at least you tried.

 

Hey Undies, I'm sorry to hear that your friend is going through the same thing. It's a pretty scary thing...

 

AFAIK, he is excited. They did plan the baby after all. Which was SUPER impulsive, because they were still in the honeymoon stage, and hadn't been together very long. He's not a talker, when he would come over, he'd be a clown... he usually doesn't express his feelings. Whether happy or sad. You kind of have to interpret things by his moods. Usually he just seems to put on a happy face. He's VERY hard to read, unless you really know him.

 

When his gf got pregnant, he slowed his drinking by quite a bit. I'm pretty sure he's depressed, and yes I think that both depression and alchol abuse both go hand in hand, in my family. But with my bro, it's more than that. He needs to buck up, like you said and face it head on. He's tried this at 12, 20 and just recently...

[Ariadne]

Hi,

 

I would have done this, but I don't and can't drink. He used to come over, every time he needed a person beside him. He'd tell us what was wrong, but never how he was feeling.

 

It seems like he just can't relate to you for some reason, like you two are in two different wave lengths, and you won't help that no matter what you do.

 

Obviously someone that:

 

A few weeks ago he downed a bottle of pills and was pretty pissed when he did it. This isn't the first time he's done this, it's the third in his life.

 

Has a million things to talk about, or reflections that he's made. But you can't listen.

 

I suggested to you to go to his level and drink with him, since that's what he likes, and you told me oh, but I don't drink so I can't.

 

That's just an excuse. Buy his favorite cake then and go there.

 

But it seems like you can't relate, you are being judgemental, angry, and trying not to get involved, but you claim that you are.

 

You just don't want to feel guilty about it.

 

Ariadne

[Lostgurl]

Hi,

 

Has a million things to talk about, or reflections that he's made. But you can't listen.

 

I suggested to you to go to his level and drink with him, since that's what he likes, and you told me oh, but I don't drink so I can't.

 

That's just an excuse. Buy his favorite cake then and go there.

 

But it seems like you can't relate, you are being judgemental, angry, and trying not to get involved, but you claim that you are.

 

You just don't want to feel guilty about it.

 

Ariadne

I do want to listen, but he doesn't talk.

 

I am going to go see him this weekend. I'm not by any means being judgemental, or angry. I don't feel guilty about anything, the only thing i feel guilty about is not knowing how to bring the what he did up.

[Ariadne]

Hi,

 

I am going to go see him this weekend.

 

Sounds great. Good luck then,

 

Ariadne

[Ariadne]

Hey,

 

I'm not by any means being judgemental, or angry. I don't feel guilty about anything, the only thing i feel guilty about is not knowing how to bring the what he did up.

 

I guess you aren't. lol

 

Sorry, I misread some you said you were pissed when he took the pills, but he was pissed when he took the pills.

 

(he downed a bottle of pills and was pretty pissed when he did it)

 

Anyway, my bad, but good luck there. And I hadn't read that he had a gf and was expecting a baby.

 

So he does have someone to talk to, so it may not be as bad.

 

Maybe just pissed like you said, and now he's over that. For some reason I thought he was some lonely guy.

 

But try and have a good time,

 

Ariadne

 

(should quit posting here, I've been a mess lately)