tece Posted April 30, 2003 Share Posted April 30, 2003 The groom has uninvited our grandmother from their wedding and she isn't doing anything about it. He also left marks on her arm when he grabbed her. What should I do. Bride is not defending her family and has been violent with her in the past. Just last week they were going to break up because he accused her of cheating on him. I am supposed to be the matron of honor, but no longer feel like I can support her in going through with this marriage. Help. Link to post Share on other sites
jessicakicksbut Posted May 1, 2003 Share Posted May 1, 2003 It's a shame that your friend will marry a man like that. The most you can do is have a talk with her and try to get her to break off the wedding, or be there for her when she gets a divorce. If you are a true friend though, I feel that it is your duty to be there for her at her wedding. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 1, 2003 Share Posted May 1, 2003 Such a lovely way to start out a loving life together. These people are from another planet. Tell them to take their wedding to Uranus! Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted May 1, 2003 Share Posted May 1, 2003 Bride is not defending her family and has been violent with her in the past. The Bride has been violent with whom? Or do you mean the Groom has been violent with the Bride in the past? I'm confused. Personally, I would tell the Bride and Groom that you cannot stomach violence and will not tolerate abuse - especially to your grandmother. If your grandmother is hurt again, tell them you'll take her to a hospital and file charges. How does your grandmother feel about all of this? On the other hand, did your grandmother do anything to prompt the groom from uninviting her? If she herself is causing a lot of problems for the Bride and Groom, then they have every right to not have her at the wedding - but physical abuse is still not to be tolerated. If you want to remain friends with the Bride, then chin up and participate in the wedding. It will be over soon and you can get through it. If you don't care to be friends any longer - tell the Bride and bow out. Link to post Share on other sites
Carly Posted May 1, 2003 Share Posted May 1, 2003 You said this involves "our" grandmother. Does this mean that you are sisters or cousins to the bride? If that is the case, welcome to the world of living in a dysfunctional family. Unless you can somehow detatch yourself from these people emotionally, they will haunt you for life. Don't bother making any big dramatic statement of objection or resignation from these people. You can never totally escape them and stirring things up will only spread their dysfunction to your life. Live by these rules: Never allow yourself to become involved in their problems. Abaondon hope for them to change. They won't change, and you won't change them. Distance yourself from them emotionally. Find a better life without them. Don't cut them out completely; just remain minimally polite -- send them birthday cards, call them at christmas, show up for funerals and weddings. Don't feel guilty for finding a better life without them. Now, will you pinky swear with me on these rules? Link to post Share on other sites
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