"Financial differences"

[Ladybug313]

This kind of concerns a relationship but I guess it fits more under this topic...

The guy that I have been seeing has made it clear he wants to get something going with me, and I really like him too. However, my parents do not want me to see him because of our financial differences, and my mom does not like the fact that he did not go to the right schools. Plus they think he is too young. They tell me things may be good now, but down the road I may do monetary things that I see as fine from my perspective whereas he may not and this will lead to many quarrels and misunderstandings. I really do like this person, but I would hate to see someone my parents do not like. I do not want to disrespect or disobey them. I tell them I really like him, but my mother tells me at this point in time I do not have enough experience to tell the right men from the wrong ones..my parents already have a person they want me to see as soon I go home, but he is going off to grad school in the fall and I just think it's kind of silly to start something when he won't even be around after the summer...that's only three months ( and that is if we click and keep seeing each other).

I admit, I do not have much dating experience and maybe they do know what is right for me...should I let this guy go? It would be the simplest way out wouldn't it? And I would hate him to have to date me when my parents are against it. Sigh. Do the things my parents emphasize really matter crucially in a relationship? I feel like I won't be able to meet anyone that fits their criteria...on the one hand I really respect their advice but on the other hand I feel sometimes they never trust what I think.

I am sorry to be posting dilemma after dilemma here. My life certainly was not as complicated before, everything has just been thrown at me at once this year and I am just a little overwhelmed.

Thank you for reading this.

[Tony T]

I certainly think you ought to respect your parents but that doesn't include allowing them to live your life for you.

 

If you are over the age of 18, you should welcome the advice and opinions of your parents but be free to make your own decisions and your own mistakes. Go with your feelings. If you want to date this guy, by all means do so.

 

Thank your parents for their concern. However, I think their reasons here are way too vague. Any person you may date may be wrong for any number of reasons which may or may not be able to be predicted by your parents or any highly skilled psychic. Love is a gamble any way you slice it.

 

Be sure to thank your parents for their heads up and tell them you will use their advice to pay closer attention to details. But it is illogical to not do something because you parents THINK bad things may happen.

 

I personally wouldn't want to have anything to do with a female who allowed her parents to run her life. Love is way to difficult without allowing in a factor like that.

 

Bottom line, listen to your parents, listen to their advice, make your own decisions and make your own mistakes. If they raised you correctly, your decisions should be correct a great deal of the time...but we ALL make mistakes...including your mom and dad!!!

[Ladybug313]

Thanks Tony. I wouldn't want to date anyone who lets his parents run his life either. I'll take your advice in mind.

[jessicakicksbut]

Differences in financial upbringing will only get in the way if you let them, as well as if your partner allows them to. It's not his parents fault if they could not afford to send him to the right schools, so I don't think he could be held accountable for such. But, if you are speaking of college, he may have been able to do better only with the help of scholarships and financial aid, which he may not have been eligible for. I do believe people in a relationship should be on the same page as far as finances goes, but you can not help the fact he may not have had enough money to go to the right schools, etc. That was in the past, and this is now.