Chrome Barracuda Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 I read all these posts by these betrayed spouses and they talk about how their wives are leaving them, she cheated, she's a in MLC, she's a lesbian and lied, The baby's not mine. And all other calamities and bull****! I'm 26 years old I'm from the school of thought that when a woman leaves. Dont fight for her! Now the reason I say this is because I remember when I was pining over this girl I fell in love with since high school. I remember me hoping that she show some affections towards me and I spent so much time on her. It wasnt until I snapped inside that I was tired of her bull****. I lost weight, and felt good about myself, my self esteem sky rocketed. I finally felt that I was a catch a a good woman would be lucky to have me. It wasnt until 2 years later that she contacted me and wanted to F me! By that time the love I had for her was null and void! I felt nothing! And with lingering sadness I ended the friendship! I see so many people desperate for their spouses to love them again. I know it's a process like the five stages of grief. I understand that. But you know what if they want to cheat and leave, let them F-ing go!!! Kick them to the damn curb!!! You dont owe them ShhhT! You waste your emotions and money and resources and sanity pining and wanting and loving people that may not be all there in their hearts again!! They treat you with so much disrespect and hurt you and you accept it! for what? What gives your spouse or your partner to treat you like garbage and disreguard your feelings or marriage!?!? Why do they feel entitled to their own happiness at the expense of yours!!! Screw that!!! If I ever get married, and if my wife ever cheated. There's only one thing I'm gonna say: Do you wanna stay or do you wanna go!?? That's it, there's no negotiating, No still pining for the OM/ or OW??? There's no I dont know, Or I need space or I need to think, What's there to think about? You betrayed me, Either you want to stay or do you want out! And if you want out, you stay gone! Give them nothing, but take from them everything! (Side-joke!) To all the men out here, there's so many fish out there in the sea! I understand you want to keep your family intact for the kids. I know you dont want the divorce, but you need to let your spouse know that this is her decision and her choice and it's all on her sholders!!! You should always go for physical custody and let her know what it's like without you being around. Go for the 180! go for NC, go for seeing other women (when the time is right! lol!) And the same goes for women. My hearts really go out for you guys but trust me, when that light switch snap inside you your gonna feel a freedom of the mind youve never felt and it's gonna feel good! Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 This is the gospel truth. Any woman worth crying and being depressed over won't make you cry and won't make you depressed. I don't know why men waste so much energy on women that treat them like dirt. There needs to be some sort of intervention program for these men to help them grow some balls. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 Amen Brother! Tell it like it is! Don't hold it back! I don't live to work! I work to live! I don't work for some woman! I work for myself! Its not what I've got to offer some woman? Its what some woman has got to offer me? I don't live on country-club estates ~ but I've got the nut that I've got to crack down to $230 a month. I've got enough food put back and canned for the winter. Life is good! Stupid X-Wife and her mall mentaility! You can play now and pay later! Or you can pay now and play for the rest of your life! You can pay me now, or you can pay me later! Its been hard! But its paying off in "Spades" ~ NOW! Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 Chrome and I need to start an intervention program for these men. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chrome Barracuda Posted October 16, 2007 Author Share Posted October 16, 2007 Chrome and I need to start an intervention program for these men. LMAO You are a funny dude woggle. Reclaiming your manhood hosted by Gunny, Chrome and Woggle! lol. Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 CB you're right on all counts... but keep in mind when someone has been fully emotionally, financially and mentally vested in a long relationship and marriage with no expectation of that changing. It takes a little while to get your balance and perspective back when that reality rug just gets yanked out from under you. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 LMAO You are a funny dude woggle. Reclaiming your manhood hosted by Gunny, Chrome and Woggle! lol. We can even have a tv show about men reclaiming their manhood. Each week we can take a guy who is going through this situation and help him to grow his balls back. It will inspire men around the world. Link to post Share on other sites
marsbars Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 Also some things may be worth fighting for. Of course that is just and opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 I don't think anyone is fighting for the cheating liars/bitches/bastards. I think they are fighting for the people they thought they were before they became cheating liars/bitches/bastards. It is almost as if an alien philanderer broke into their spouse's heart and killed the spouse they knew, and replaced them with a cheating alien that looks like their spouse. They want the 'dead' spouse back, and that is what they are fighting for: hoping they can bring that lost person back to life and go on with life as it was before it all happened. Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 I'm 26 years old'nuff said. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 'nuff said. There are snipers everywhere... As a scorched earth policy holder here, I do agree and even push it further to the extent that you don't bother with a choice of stay...if...there are no children involved. Once children are involved, there's a family unit at stake, which creates a much larger, stickier mess, for the betrayed spouse. Cheating is such a train wreck for all participants. Link to post Share on other sites
love4ever Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 Hmm, I think it's a bit different when your married opposed to just being in a long term relationship... They're put alot of effort time and money into their marriages. And I'm sure its hard to just kick them to the curb when their lives are so intertwined. In some cases its pretty obvious to just get out while you can but when their are others factors involved I'm sure its not as easy as you think. Link to post Share on other sites
Mustang Sally Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 Each person has got to do what they've got to do. If you are, in your infinite wisdom, a "kick 'em to the curb" sort of person, then hey - go for it. I think there certainly is a time and place for such actions. But some people become too entrenched for such, at least until they've fully emotionally digested the situation, and gone through several of the five stages of grief... I think LB has a very good point, above. Again I say: The only two people who really know what transpires between two people are the two people, themselves. Aren't we fortunate that it is a big wide world with room for all sorts of viewpoints and approaches? Peace. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 You know what would make it easier? ... If people would just cheat “up” instead of down or different. That’s the part I just don’t get with all the people I’ve known who’ve done it. Wouldn’t it be nice to actually meet the person your partner traded you in for and say: “Holy crap! How’d you ever land that? If I were you, I’d cheat on me too!” You think that’s ever happened (???) :confused: Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 You know what would make it easier? ... If people would just cheat “up” instead of down or different. That’s the part I just don’t get with all the people I’ve known who’ve done it. Wouldn’t it be nice to actually meet the person your partner traded you in for and say: “Holy crap! How’d you ever land that? If I were you, I’d cheat on me too!” You think that’s ever happened (???) :confused: So true. My ex cheated with a disgusting pig of a man who looked like he hadn't bathed in a few weeks. I almost had to light some candles in the room after I caught them in bed together because he smelled so bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chrome Barracuda Posted October 16, 2007 Author Share Posted October 16, 2007 Ewww that's disgusting woggle! lol. Anyway's I'm 26 so what? I've seen many relationships fall apart. I've been a life observer. I observe peoples relationships and see what went wrong. And reading these boards day in and day out has let me peek inside minds of people who are conflicted flawed, very human. I'm young but I know the difference between right and wrong. I know many of my guys my age who got married young and got kids by their girlfriends. I'm still single and have no kids. The idea of marriage to me is to become one with my spouse. Be equal and stay in love until death. Work through past issues, dont bury them and dont let the marriage become stagnant. But yet this ideal of marriage doesnt last long between the generation today. And Enigma Cheating whether up or down doesnt make a difference it's still emascualting. Whether she cheats with vin diesel or justin timberlake or rosie o donell. It still hurts. I understand the idea of having emotions invested and time and children but if you aint got either, then why the hell would you stay. There are some situations where I'd say kick them to the curb, tbut there are sometimes when I would say fight for it. The choice is yours... Link to post Share on other sites
NSBR Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 Well, I am fighting, but doing so for MYSELF! It takes time to get there, but you once you start to realize your value and self worth, you can ask the the question: does He/She deserve ME? Do I deserve to be treated with disrespect and dishonesty? Why beg and plead someone to remain with you? Sorry to hi-jack a bit, but when you create that 'vibe' of feeling a sense of self worth and confidence, they don't see you as a sniveling mess anymore. They see you as something they suddenly might lose. It is working with me and the wife and I are starting to re-connect in a very good way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chrome Barracuda Posted October 17, 2007 Author Share Posted October 17, 2007 Well, I am fighting, but doing so for MYSELF! It takes time to get there, but you once you start to realize your value and self worth, you can ask the the question: does He/She deserve ME? Do I deserve to be treated with disrespect and dishonesty? Why beg and plead someone to remain with you? Sorry to hi-jack a bit, but when you create that 'vibe' of feeling a sense of self worth and confidence, they don't see you as a sniveling mess anymore. They see you as something they suddenly might lose. It is working with me and the wife and I are starting to re-connect in a very good way. That's good for you. Sometimes I think it's worth fighting for but I'd say 90% of the time, is it even worth fighting for. All the hurt and resentment and confusion. I'm not gonna go back to that. Once I lose my love for a woman uncerimoniously I find it hard for forgive. and when i do forgive. I altogether forget. Link to post Share on other sites
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