kimanton Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 Me and this guy have been friends for a year now. We also have been having sex the whole time. I've developed deep feelings for him, but he claims not to have any feelings for me in a romantic way. Yet he wants to have sex with me a couple times a week. How can a guy be so physically intimate with a girl and sincerely not have the slightest feelings for her? I just don't get it......Can what he says be true or is he possibly denying any feelings he might have for me???? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 Think about it this way, how did you feel about him the first few times you engaged with him? That your feelings have changed, doesn't mean his feelings have changed too. I seriously question FWB relationships aka f*ck partners. Aren't most people looking for lovers who are friends as well, versus friends who you f*ck? Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 Most men can have sex without emotions. Most women can't. You need to realize this difference. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 Can what he says be true ... ???? Yes. If he's told you he doesn't want a relationship then believe him. If you think you can change his mind you're only setting yourself up for some pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Herzen Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 I'm in a FWB+ relationship, which is a relationship that while very sexual has some attributes of a "real" relationship--including "feelings." What I've made clear from Day 1 to my GF, however, is that our relationship is neither exclusive nor culminating in marriage or cohabitation. I have "feelings" for my FWB/GF, but no desire to enter into a FORMALIZED monogamous union with her. As of now, she's happy. And when she's not, she can leave or date other guys. If that makes me an "unfeeling," sexually rapacious bad boy, so be it. Link to post Share on other sites
alli02 Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 Yes. If he's told you he doesn't want a relationship then believe him. If you think you can change his mind you're only setting yourself up for some pain. this is true...people in a fwb situation are normally being honest when they say it is just sex. i am currently in your same position...and i have realized that some people can "just have sex" with someone, and others cant. i thought that maybe we could be more...but we cant. if you are wanting more and he isnt then get out now before you get hurt. you will find someone to fall in love with but it probably isnt gonna happen with this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
sweetpea1318 Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 well, surprisingly was the other way around. this guy and i had been friends for years ans i would sleep with im regularly. than one day he asks me to be exclusive and i just couldn't. didn't want him like that. i find that in FWB situations one person usually winds up falling. the other still has purely platonic feelings. i've been in your shoes too. sucks a bunch. hope you feel better! Link to post Share on other sites
oppath Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 sweetpea, While it is LESS common, guys absolutely can fall in love with their FWB partner. I'd say the male to female ratio is 30/70 on that in terms of likelihood, meaning in the FWB where one person become attached and the other does not, 1/3 of the time it is the man. Men are emotional too. Even bastards. Men, however, RARELY enter a FWB situation thinking "if I do this, maybe she'll become mine." Women enter it with that idea all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
travelinjan Posted October 17, 2007 Share Posted October 17, 2007 could it be hes using you??? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted October 17, 2007 Share Posted October 17, 2007 Men, however, RARELY enter a FWB situation thinking "if I do this, maybe she'll become mine." Women enter it with that idea all the time. I don't get this. Why would you do this? You're just asking to have your heart ripped out. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted October 17, 2007 Share Posted October 17, 2007 Me and this guy have been friends for a year now. We also have been having sex the whole time. I've developed deep feelings for him, but he claims not to have any feelings for me in a romantic way. Yet he wants to have sex with me a couple times a week. How can a guy be so physically intimate with a girl and sincerely not have the slightest feelings for her? I just don't get it......Can what he says be true or is he possibly denying any feelings he might have for me???? I have had sooo many FWB relationships, I would need more than my two hands and two feet to count them... and I never fell in love with any of them... some lasted for over 2 years. It is possible for both men AND women. Link to post Share on other sites
oppath Posted October 17, 2007 Share Posted October 17, 2007 I don't get this. Why would you do this? You're just asking to have your heart ripped out. I've seen female friends do it, after the guy dumped them, thinking "it will bring him back." I've read MANY posts on here from LS about the girl engaging in this behavior with a guy, thinking "I figured it was all he could offer at the time but our connection was so good he'd change his mind." Not gonna happen. It is possible. But it is rare. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted October 17, 2007 Share Posted October 17, 2007 I've seen female friends do it, after the guy dumped them, thinking "it will bring him back." I've read MANY posts on here from LS about the girl engaging in this behavior with a guy, thinking "I figured it was all he could offer at the time but our connection was so good he'd change his mind." Not gonna happen. It is possible. But it is rare. I'd never FWB with anyone, nvm an ex. As to someone changing their mind, sex isn't what's going to change someone's emotional perception. If you think about how men can compartmentalize better than women, it's not realistic to expect it to happen, although of course, there will be exceptions. Link to post Share on other sites
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