angie16 Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 i am 7 weeks out of a 2 year realtionship. I still love him and want to get back wtih him. I haven't told him that specifically, after i moved out we have only seen each other once (to do the mail exchange). I wrote him about a week ago and told him how i care about him and how important he was to me and what a great person he is. (he wrote back that my letter brought him to tears) but that was it. so my question is... do i meet him and tell him that i want to try again? I am just scared to death of being rejected again, but i do think that the time apart has really helped me at least, realize how important he is and that i want him in my life. I got obsessed about getting engaged, his father died, and i couldn't shake wanting to get married. I was miserable and had basically made our whole realtionship about getting the ring. I know now, and i can say honestly, that being with him and having him in my life is more important than the status of getting engaged. i just don't know if i put mysefl out there like that and he says no, that the devestation might just ruin me. I have been trying to date, got a new place, and even got a promotion at work, i lost some weight and starting working out. I really think i am in a much better place to be with him, but i dont' know how to show him that. so my question is, is it even worth trying to get back together? your opinions would be helpful. Link to post Share on other sites
devastatedagain Posted October 18, 2007 Share Posted October 18, 2007 I don't know what to tell you Angie. I have been trying to get back together with my ex wife for the past 7 months now, to no avail.......I keep putting myself out there and unfortunately, I keep getting hurt......I don't think rejection will devastate you - I have been emotionally pretty fragile the last 7 months, but through all of the rejection, it hasn't destroyed me, even though I have felt like it would sometimes. Regardless, I really love her, so I keep trying. To answer your question, if you really love someone, then I think it is definitely worth getting back together. I am kind of counting on that being true in my own situation.... Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted October 18, 2007 Share Posted October 18, 2007 Angie - You are only half of the equation here - and per your earlier posts, your pushing for engagement was not the primary reason for the break up. He needs to man up here and stand up to his family, specifically his brother who apparently had issues with you after only one meeting. You also need to recognize that he may not be ready for a reconciliation yet. If I recall correctly he was still mourning the loss of his dad, and huddling around his mother and brother for that. Has HE suggested a reconciliation? Do you have any idea where he stands on this specific issue? It's nice that your letter made him cry - but so what? I know you are still hurting, and think that getting back together will remove that hurt, but I'm not so sure. Whatever you decide, best of luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
bigheartkindsoul Posted October 25, 2007 Share Posted October 25, 2007 I am not sure if getting back with an ex can work, I guess it depends on why you broke up or things went wrong to begin with. And whether either of you have learnt/changed. For me I don't think it would, he was emotionally dismissive and I just couldn't get along with that personally as I am quite a feely, emotional person and when I might say, hey I am feeling a bit down or worried about something, approached in the appropriate way - to always get don't be so silly, oh here we go again, what now, kinda attitude I just couldn't handle. Also honesty is important to me and he lied about some important things (no small things) and didn't like that either. He was also insecure about being cheated on but in time turned this around to make me totally insecure about us, which I guess I should have been stronger (isn't hindsight wonderful LOL). He is not all bad, I just do not think we were suited. And I sure have my bad points too and am no angel. So back to it, if the thing about breaking up say was perhaps lack of commitment at the time, or something that can change like different life goals at that time - then sure I might work. Guess you would need to take alot of time to slowly get to know this person afresh and see what is different between you now to know if it would and could work. It's a tough one, cause really who knows whether it would or would not? Take care of yourself x Link to post Share on other sites
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