TurtlePower Posted October 16, 2007 Share Posted October 16, 2007 Is precisely what my best friend says all the time. She is currently engaged to the father of their two year old son. Whether he really loves her or not, I'm not sure. At times it sure it doesn't seem that way. We could all be outside talking and she is so into him, and he could care less if shes there. They have been engaged for almost a year now and I have yet to hear any wedding talk. He wants another kid so I had to say to point blank say, "Get married first." He gave me an answer to the extent that it doesn't make sense financially. (ie single moms get huge tax refunds I think). All my friend is looking for is for some sort of closure to see what his motives are. It has long been conspiracy theorized that she trapped him into a relationship by getting pregnant and that he wasn't totally into her. Essentially a booty call. My question is how can I possibly comfort her as it pains to me see her go through this, especially when I know for a fact that she won't leave him. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted October 17, 2007 Share Posted October 17, 2007 I don't know how you can comfort her when she seems to see that he's not in love with her, yet she's totally into him. Why did he propose if he doesn't plan to marry her? Why on earth does he want another child with her? Is he even paying child support for the first one? Is he a good father? Do they live together? If he doesn't love her, marrying her is going to be a nightmare for both of them and their child. At least this way, she might eventually accept that he doesn't love her and can meet someone who does without being trapped in a marriage. In the meantime, I guess all you can do is listen and be a shoulder to cry on when she needs it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TurtlePower Posted October 17, 2007 Author Share Posted October 17, 2007 Why did he propose if he doesn't plan to marry her? I really don't know, I guess for the sake of their son. Whether or not he is planning to or not, no one knows, it sure doesn't seem that way. Why on earth does he want another child with her? Is he even paying child support for the first one? Is he a good father? Do they live together? Beats me why he wants another child, perhaps the mystique of having a baby running around is appealing, and he is a good father. They live together, but the constant bickering when I am there is just that, constant. They both need a break from each other. It just sucks because he obviously loves his son, but it is clear not only to her, but to a lot of people that he isn't into her like he should. It's easy for me to say to her to leave, but there is so much that'll make it complicated: Pride, awkwardness at work, etc. What an avoidable mess. Link to post Share on other sites
ravenstar Posted October 17, 2007 Share Posted October 17, 2007 i was in the same situation... sort of. i was madly in love with my ex. he wasn't that into me. things got really bad and i knew i had toget out because he was NOT in love with me and i was only hurting myself. then i found out i was pregnant. so i fooloshly stayed. it ended, like i knew it would, with him cheating on me when our daughter was about six months old. HEARTBREAK hurts like hell. but the new found self repect, freedom, friends and new realationship i have gained from leaving that situation is worth it. if she stays she is only reinforcing a self depreciating pattern. she needs to get out. it's hard and it HURTS LIKE HELL. but from someone who knows: once she heals she'll be BETTER THAN EVER. Link to post Share on other sites
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