killercards Posted October 17, 2007 Share Posted October 17, 2007 My Fiancee and I Have been together for over a year now and we plan to get marriage very soon. I see that we are both stressed out about it.. She told me she is scared about the marriage thing. Due to the fact of relationships she sees around her, Family etc. She has seen Couples get married and then their relationship turn negative. I try to convince that ours is different then the rest.. Any advice would help me so much Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean-Blue Posted October 17, 2007 Share Posted October 17, 2007 Have you thought about sitting down and coming up with a list of strengths. Present her with this list (or just talk to her about it). Assure her that your relationship is strong enough. Ask her why she feels threated by the "negative" marriages around her (it may bring up some issues/concerns she has). I have to say though... If you're going to marry this woman, shouldn't she be sure? I mean, yes people get cold feet. But you shouldn't have to convince her. She's either in it or she isn't. But of course, you want to assuage any fears. So talk to her...see where all of this is coming from (how her fears are related to your relationship). Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author killercards Posted October 17, 2007 Author Share Posted October 17, 2007 Have you thought about sitting down and coming up with a list of strengths. Present her with this list (or just talk to her about it). Assure her that your relationship is strong enough. Ask her why she feels threated by the "negative" marriages around her (it may bring up some issues/concerns she has). I have to say though... If you're going to marry this woman, shouldn't she be sure? I mean, yes people get cold feet. But you shouldn't have to convince her. She's either in it or she isn't. But of course, you want to assuage any fears. So talk to her...see where all of this is coming from (how her fears are related to your relationship). Good luck. Thank you for you comment. I will Talk to her more about. We just planned our marriage and going to do it sometime within the next couple of weeks. I need to tell her how I feel about this. When She made that comment to me I told her Why are you scared? Are you afraid we will get married and than get a divorce? She Responded: "I don't know." What Kind of questions should I ask her? It's just making me wonder you know. She wants to but than she has doubts and fears. But I will talk to her though and I will keep you updated on this. K? Link to post Share on other sites
Author killercards Posted October 17, 2007 Author Share Posted October 17, 2007 What should I say to her? Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean-Blue Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 What should I say to her? You need to ask her specific questions (narrow the scope so she's more inclined to give you an actual answer). Perhaps pick out a couple that she's referred to and ask her why she thinks that'll happen to you two. Compare the relationships. Emphasize that your relationship is unique and isn't necessarily going to follow the same path as another couple's relationship. Basically, you want to stress the strengths of your relationship (to show her that you can indeed make it work). You also may want to address concerns she has about your relationship (i.e. communication). I'd REALLY talk this stuff over with her before tying the knot. It's good to hash things out before you're legally bound. Link to post Share on other sites
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