Author Newtotheblogthing Posted October 19, 2007 Author Share Posted October 19, 2007 I have to clear this up. There was no cheating and I was in rehab. I had to get away to take care of myself. He knew this, was supportive of it and that's why I was "away". I wanted to make sure BOTH of us got our lives back on track before I saw him again. I was scared he had not made the necessary steps to take care of himself as well. I feel like now we might be better for each other but it might be too late, too much damage.. I was trying to avoid saying this but I might as well just get it out there. Thanks to everyone for the replies, I am going to read them all again and figure this out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Newtotheblogthing Posted October 19, 2007 Author Share Posted October 19, 2007 Thank you to everyone who replied. Yes, it may be too late and ultimately it may not be a bad thing. Today, I am looking at the situation a little more realistically... Maybe I am just afraid to let go.. We are supposed to see each other this weekend.. We'll see what happens. Thank you again for ALL of the replies. Sometimes the truth hurts.. sometimes the truth is impossible to see on your own.. I am getting there! Thank you for all of the different perspectives/advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Oregon Blackberry Posted October 20, 2007 Share Posted October 20, 2007 You Should Have Said You Were In Rehab And He Knew About It, Which Is Why You 'disappeared.' This Makes This Guy A Total A**hole, He Runs When The Going Gets Tough. Now You Have Healed Like You Need And He Doesn't Want You Back??? What An Ass. You Deserve Better, Someone Who Won't Judge You And Love You Through Thick And Thin And Rehab. Link to post Share on other sites
tigergem Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 Above all, keep your pants on, girlfriend ;-) I had an ex-husband that used to come sniffing around my door between girlfriends. I grew to expect it. More than once I let him crash on my couch when he was evicted, but I never ever slept with him again after our divorce. We were the best of friends in the whole wide world for a very long time, and sometimes that really is better, anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Newtotheblogthing Posted October 22, 2007 Author Share Posted October 22, 2007 We made plans for dinner tonight.. his meeting got pushed.. he cancelled. I had a feeling he would. I am not doing this anymore. Like you guys said if he was really interested in me he would make the effort. He isn't anymore. Time to let go of this.He just broke up with someone else and I expect him to come running back to me?I want him to come running back to me??? I have these crazy expectations that aren't going to be met and I am needy and pathetic as well. He even pointed out it's not like me.. I am needy and that I should just act normal. Stope the crazy texting.. He feels it, he knows I am just waiting in the wings and now I am letting him do whatever he wants. Forget it. I am throwing in the towel. I am not calling or texting anymore.. Done. If he ever really wanted to try again he would make an effort. He doesn't, I have to just move on. Maybe it's timing, maybe he is being a dick because of not dealing with his feelings OR he just doesn't give flying f**k about me. I think it's the latter. I am just going to do my own thing. I am so angry and hurt but what did I expect..?? He has to work out his own stuff and I can't sit here pressuring him.. and he can't treat me like crap. Thanks for the support. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Newtotheblogthing Posted October 22, 2007 Author Share Posted October 22, 2007 Ok, I had a little time to think. I can't make someone do something just because I want them to.. I feel like a raving lunatic. He is doing his own thing, I am going to make sure to do mine. Whatever happens, happens and I am not going to make myself into the victim. He canceled dinner, that's all. I am losing my mind and perspective. I am just going to make this week a good one. I am tired of hearing myself talk about it.. Link to post Share on other sites
birdie Posted October 22, 2007 Share Posted October 22, 2007 it is hard to keep perspective sometimes and the worst thing is this anxiety. we have all been through it. you get mixed up and you are not sure what's going on anymore. try not to think too much about what his motives are, just somehow try to take a break from it all by doing other stuff. I know it's easier said then done. Once your emotions have calmed, you will see more clearly and will be able to face it better. when you start analysing it/him just keep telling yourself to put it out of your mind for the moment because you will deal with it at a later stage. it's easier when you are calmer Link to post Share on other sites
heartoutside Posted October 22, 2007 Share Posted October 22, 2007 My ex did the same thing to me. She asked me to go to lunch/dinner and then she asked for a rain check! I was fine with it, at least that's what I told her. She rescheduled 2 weeks later, and I think I should have canceled last min. The conversation got me no where, same old confused answers and a mess. I didn't need that. I think you've got the right attitude! It's about you now! Link to post Share on other sites
yippkiyay Posted October 22, 2007 Share Posted October 22, 2007 easier said then done. if you feel the urge to be there for him, shut your phone off Link to post Share on other sites
Author Newtotheblogthing Posted October 22, 2007 Author Share Posted October 22, 2007 Thank you!!! Each one of you said something that really made me feel better. Birdie: you hit it on the head.. it's exactly the way I feel. SO anxious, not knowing what is real anymore, confusion. I woke up today feeling better. I am at work now and just planning on taking care of myself I am going to do my very best not to analyze things as it gets me nowhere. Heartoutside and yippiyay, thank you as well. He has his own stuff and I have to respect that his life does not revolve around me. It's ok.. at least that's how I feel today. If he wants to make the effort he can and I'll go from there. Until then... the phone is NOT going to be used. Time to regain a little self respect.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Newtotheblogthing Posted October 23, 2007 Author Share Posted October 23, 2007 He actually called and aplogized for the phone conversation yesterday. he tried my mobile, I didn't hear it, so he called my work line. He asked if I wasn't taking his calls now.. We had a pleasant conversation and I thanked him for the apology. When the confusion sets in, I just let it go.. If he wants to see me, he can ask. I am not going to beg anymore. I am just NOT. Link to post Share on other sites
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