nouseforaname Posted May 2, 2003 Share Posted May 2, 2003 Hello everyone, i'll get staight to the point. I'm in 11th grade and my girlfriend is a freshmen. This is actually a big deal...just alittle background info. Anyways, we've been together for only about 2 months now...we do love each other, although not crazy-head-over-heals because we are taking our time. My problem is, she's kinda shy...i'm her first real boyfriend and she doesn't really have much experience. I need to know, how do you get a girl to be more sexually open...i don't mean all the way...i just mean the various forms of foreplay. Now i'm not a perv who only wants one thing and she knows that and i show that with my actions (maybe that's part of the problem). I don't try and touch her "down there" or her chest (maybe that's part of the problem). I'm also kinda shy by the way. So i'm wondering...how would i go about sort of bringing this out in the open between us...i don't wanna just say "hey, lemme finger you" or "hey, gimme head". That's kinda rude. Prom is tommorow (may 3th) and my birthday the next day (the 4th). Now i'm hoping that'll be a pretty big hint for her but i doubt it. Like i said...i'm not looking for sex...i feel that's something that happens and shouldn't take me being aggessive. I just needa girl (or guy if you know) to tell me...what could a guy do to get the desired effect...but without making you uncomfortable or anything like that. Like i said, i do love her and she does love me and we are taking her time but im moving pretty slow here...we don't really "make out" all that much so i dunno...i'll shut up now...please help. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted May 2, 2003 Share Posted May 2, 2003 well, sweetie, "hey baby, wanna F---?" is DEFINITELY out of the question unless you want to have her run screaming from the room seriously, though, the last thing a girl wants (or needs) is pressure from the guy she's with, and believe me, every girl knows what "prom" really means unless she's been raised by nuns. If you're sincere about not trying to get into her pants because you really do care for her, there are so many ways to let her know you find her special, attractive and interesting. Kissing is sweet, if you know what I mean. Not porno kisses where you try to perform a tonsilectomy using your tongue, but short sweet kisses. On her mouth, on her hair, on her nose, on her hand ... you get the picture. Its probably the best way to show someone your affection for them. My favorite thing that my husband does when he reaches out to hold my hand, in public or at home alone. Kind of silly for a 30-something year old woman to go weak-kneed over, but it's such a sweet thing to be a recipient when he does that. And it's a non-threatening form of affection that doesn't imply that you're after sex. Hugging is good, so is touching (as in a caress, not octopus hands!) ... There are many non-verbal ways to show your partner that you like having them with you. Just don't let anyone try to make you feel that you've "got" to get laid just because it's prom, end of school, your anniversary, etc. If you really and truly like someone, you're willing to not force the issue. have fun on your prom, and don't do anything that will get you into trouble! Link to post Share on other sites
NEONINK Posted May 7, 2003 Share Posted May 7, 2003 With all my problems, I'm so glad I'm 20 years out of high school. God.... I'm really glad to hear you aren't ready to go all the way. But if she's a Freshman, it may be to soon to fool around for her. I think you can ask about messing around, but she should be made to feel comfortable to answer no without consequences or fear that you won't take her to the prom. Link to post Share on other sites
the_panda Posted May 8, 2003 Share Posted May 8, 2003 yah yah, so i'm posting this a lot later than you wanted help for... but i still think i should put my 2 cents in. that thing is just cool. but anyways, i'm in grade 10... i can be a bit more understanding of your situation.... because oh, i'm not very experienced, and i'm a girl. so anyways, it seems like you really do honestly care for her. which is great. because that's very important. but for what you want, the even more important thing, is comfort. how comfortable are you with one another? can you have silence between you and it not be awkward? i think that that's how you know if you should be going anywhere with a person.... if you can just enjoy their presence. if she truly feels comfortable with you, and wasn't raised in a house hold that was sexually opressing, there really isn't a reason why you shouldn't just go for what you want. i say, take control.... touch her. chances are, she wants you to. and if she gets uncomfortable, and tells you she doesn't want to, then stop. it's really simple. you never know what you can do, until you try. but yes. that's all i can really bring to the situation... so, have a nice day. Link to post Share on other sites
pathazmat Posted June 1, 2003 Share Posted June 1, 2003 first of all If she is a freshman in highschool that is the last thing she needs. she should be more worried about her school work and not sexuall topics. Try not to take advantage of her. I see you are only caring about your own needs and If she wanted to do something she would. Link to post Share on other sites
dana Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 hi my name is dana also know as nikki...my boyfriend is going into the 11th grade and im a 1st year freshman yepy lol sorry...when me and my b.f started going out i was really shy to it is just a gurl thing expecially when you are three grades apart...just give her time and talk to her about how you feel and you would like her to become more open with you...but dont try soo hard you make her feel strange...take it slow yall have only been going out for 2 mounths...try to spend more time w/ her.. i would love to help you more Link to post Share on other sites
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