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really, really frustrated


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I'm 17, and a senior in high school. I have never had a girlfriend, as I have been very shy until just recently. So I'm still sort of feeling my way around in this whole dating thing.

 

I met a girl i really liked about 2 month ago. She's pretty and smart, and we clicked really well. 3 weeks ago, I asked her out to lunch, and we had a really good time. We agreed to see each other again.

 

Since then, I've had a really hard time contacting her. She goes to my school, but I don't know any of her friends, or where she has lunch. We used to be in play rehearsal together, but the play is over. I have her number, but I rarely get through. The times I have gotten through, she was busy, and couldn't talk for more than a minute.

 

I only see her in person occasionally, when by serendipity we pass each other in the halls. One of the few times I saw her at school, she said she wanted to do something this weekend. I few days later, I called her, and we decided to see a movie Sat. night. Sat. morning, she calls me and tells me she is sick. I believed her, but called her later to see how she was feeling. She was out, at an "appointment."

 

Not helping is the fact I'm kind of intimidated by her. She has a lot of guy friends (though she's known as somewhat prude), and is hanging out with other guys 24/7. I'm not blaming her; I've had self esteem problems for a long time, thinking I can't measure up to other guys because I'm shy, or ugly. But it makes it really hard for me to call her up and try to establish more of a relationship with her, especially when she answers that she can't talk because she's at a movie with Tim or Bryon (not real names.)

 

There are a lot of signs that she is into me, and a lot of signs that she could care less. I wish she would just tell me, so I could either make a move, or find another girl and stop worrying about it. But I can't get a bead on whether she likes me. This plus the tough time I'm having seeing her again, and my own insecurities, are making me really frustrated, to the point I'm obsessing over it constantly.

 

I love being around her, but trying to "chase" her is really taking it's toll. At the same time, when I actually have a chance at having a girlfriend for the first time in my life, I don't want to throw that away. Should I continue to pursue a relationship, or should I forget about her and look elsewhere?

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When you stop paying attention to her or trying to call...that's when she'll become more interested.

 

Just back off and stop caring so much. She's not the cat's meow. As a matter of fact, you'll go out with lots of ladies before you find Ms. Right. If you never see her again in your life it won't be the end of the world. All that being said, get a life and go about your business as if she doesn't exist. That will drive her nuts.

 

A girl who's got lots of guys after her will not be impressed with one more joining the pack. But her curiosity will be peaked to the max by a guy who just goes about his business and doesn't kiss her ass.

 

When women get older, you have to deal with them differently. But when you meet girls like this one, you have to meet fire with fire. Stop chasing her and let her chase you. And start going after other girls. When this one finds out you're seeing other ladies, she'll be after your butt!!!

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