hanging on to lost love

[kathy]

hi my name is kathy i am inlove with a guy who hurts me every time i turn around but he clams he loves me i dont want to lose him i just want him to change this has been a on going thing for about 4 years and i deal with alot of mental and some every blue moon physical abuse help me decide weather to stay or lose my man

[kathy]

hi my name is kathy i am inlove with a guy who hurts me every time i turn around but he clams he loves me i dont want to lose him i just want him to change this has been a on going thing for about 4 years and i deal with alot of mental and some every blue moon physical abuse help me decide weather to stay or lose my man he has a kid who i am crazy for but he know me as mommy his real mom is not around so what do i do to keep me happy and i blame myself

[Lucy]

 

You must leave this person. That is no way to live. You have to just leave. Someone will love you without hurting you physically or mentally. You may think that it is easy for me to say but you just have to get the strength to do it!!!

[Somewhat Damaged]

Here's my little story ...

 

There is a girl, which was a very close friend of mine, we were always together. Our relation was 100% platonic, I felt like she needed me, she was so fragile and depressed. I did almost anything to make her feel better. Someday, I realized I was in deep love with her, always thinking about her and her problems. Well, while I was doing anything that I can to rescue her, I totally forgot about myself. Now she's out of trouble and i'm in trouble but I was ok before I meet her. I told her about how i've been loving her for months, she was surprised and a little bit rude with me ("#####! You should have kill yourself! Why are you doing this to me?"). But that's not the point, the point is THIS GUY DOESN'T LOVE YOU THE WAY YOU NEED. Ok, believe me, even after everything she did to me, I do love this girl and I can't even imagine to raise my hand on her. If this guy really loved you he wouldn't do that. YOU DESERVE BETTER! Oh, I know you're gonna tell me "We always deserve want we want". I agree it is true, but do you really want a violent boyfriend? It is what you always hoped for in your life? I don't think so. If he's been like that in the last 4 years he will never change, forget him... Just like this platonic friend who never loved me even as a friend, she was just abusing of my caring nature... And now looks who's the wretched?

 

I am really pissed off to hear a story like that when I know a tons of really good guys just waiting for a nice girl like you. This relationship is simply evil for you, get away while you can, I waited too long and I regret it everyday of my whole damn life... Don't do the same mistake it will kill you from the inside.

 

Yes it's gonna be hard, and yes even if he's rude to you, your gonna miss him but YOU WILL GET THROUGHT IT SOMEHOW with the time it will pass and you will realize what kind of a good decision it was. He's a jerk, he doesn't deserve you.

 

Take care of yourself not only of others ...

[james]

You must leave this person. That is no way to live. You have to just leave. Someone will love you without hurting you physically or mentally. You may think that it is easy for me to say but you just have to get the strength to do it!!! Kathy I have maby a couple of questions for you... do you enjoy the pain your going through???? and is that the pain I mean would you call that a loving feeling??? after four years you should have a degree in pain.. don't be bitter.. of course you'll be sad but get on with your life and be happy... life has it's ups and downs .... witch one do you want more of.... write if you want to talk more..

[leigh]

writing this letter somehow seems very silly to me but me and my boyfriend of three years have broken up for good and i have never felt such deep and suffering in my entire life.

 

it has only been a week but i can't sleep, eat, smile, think, work, all i can do is cry from the pain my heart is feeling... i really think it is getting to the point where i just cant take it anymore.. at the beginning i called him constantly and showed up at his house in the middle of the night like some-kind of crazy person, but i just didn't want to admit to myself we are really over.. he is a wonderful man and we loved each other very much but so many other things were going on in our lives and heads that we just couldn't seem to compromise with each other's needs. i do not think i will ever love anybody ever as much as i loved him. i feel as if my life is over... he is already seeing someone else and as the thoughts of them too run through my mind i just want to throw-up.. it's absolutely knobbing. a am 26 years old. have a good job. am considered a trophy girlfriend by alll his friends and family. i just feel all alone and out of control.

[stella]

Dear Leigh,

 

I know right now it seems like your life is over...but it isn't. You need to take the time to grieve because of this loss. and that is OK. I know that this saying is old..but things do happen for a reason and maybe this breakup with this guy was the right thing to happen in your life. You are still young and will have many opportunities to love again. My suggestion would be to take your time (only you know how much time you need) and to really take care of you. Try not to make a mate your "all in all" because you can get lost in all of that and forget about the person you should be caring the most about--YOU! Listen, I KNOW heartbreak and I 've been there, I'm a few years older than you, and I also am dealing with a breakup that lasted 2 years...but i know that when I decided to leave it was the right thing. Yes, it still hurts because your mind does wonder about who he's with and all that DRAMA if he calls just to say "hi" etc. but you know what? That too shall pass. Be confident.You have a good job. FORGET what his friends/family say about you being a "trophy" girlfriend! These people are not what makes or breaks you. There is probably more lovely qualities in you than they ever took time to notice--THEIR LOSS. Once you start nurturing your inner spirit, those around you will take notice. And the one that does will be the one to capture your heart. So NO WORRIES OK? Take the opportunity now to ENJOY your friends and ENJOY YOU!! I know that at first when you're asked to go hang out with people it seems too much, but take small steps. You will eventually get there and enjoy being out with others and your EX will be the last thing on your mind. TRUST ME!

 

Be Strong!

 

Take care,

 

Jaylin

it has only been a week but i can't sleep, eat, smile, think, work, all i can do is cry from the pain my heart is feeling... i really think it is getting to the point where i just cant take it anymore.. at the beginning i called him constantly and showed up at his house in the middle of the night like some-kind of crazy person, but i just didn't want to admit to myself we are really over.. he is a wonderful man and we loved each other very much but so many other things were going on in our lives and heads that we just couldn't seem to compromise with each other's needs. i do not think i will ever love anybody ever as much as i loved him. i feel as if my life is over... he is already seeing someone else and as the thoughts of them too run through my mind i just want to throw-up.. it's absolutely knobbing. a am 26 years old. have a good job. am considered a trophy girlfriend by alll his friends and family. i just feel all alone and out of control.

[eric]

I am with you. My girlfriend of 4 years and I have just broken up. It has been three weeks now and things are getting better. I just started to eat and my sleep is starting to come back to me. She also is with someone else and I to have those sick feelings running through my head. I feel your pain. The thing we both need to realize is that it will get better. My friends are there for me and I try to spend a lot of time with them. The bad part is that I quit my job 3 days before the breakup and it has been hard to get motivated to find another one. This means I have plenty of time to sulk. Just try to keep busy. People have told me to give myself 2 good weeks of crying, being depressed, and being isolated. Then slowly get it together. It will not happen overnight. It will take time. I am 29. My friends also say I can get anyone I wanted and there are girls who are wanting to go out, but I am not ready. This can only happen when you are ready. It is hard to believe that our ex's are with somone else, but I heard it is easier to get over someone with someone else. It is hard to take, but that is theireway of avoiding what we are going through. I am not the best person for advice, I just wanted you to know you are not alone. Trust me. It will get better and we will both be happy again. We can use this time to enjoy ourselves and fiqure out what makes us happy. Time heals all wounds. it has only been a week but i can't sleep, eat, smile, think, work, all i can do is cry from the pain my heart is feeling... i really think it is getting to the point where i just cant take it anymore.. at the beginning i called him constantly and showed up at his house in the middle of the night like some-kind of crazy person, but i just didn't want to admit to myself we are really over.. he is a wonderful man and we loved each other very much but so many other things were going on in our lives and heads that we just couldn't seem to compromise with each other's needs. i do not think i will ever love anybody ever as much as i loved him. i feel as if my life is over... he is already seeing someone else and as the thoughts of them too run through my mind i just want to throw-up.. it's absolutely knobbing. a am 26 years old. have a good job. am considered a trophy girlfriend by alll his friends and family. i just feel all alone and out of control.