Author morelaugh Posted October 21, 2007 Author Share Posted October 21, 2007 Cake is just so one dimensional. It's tasty, but that's about it. Carrots, you can have them in the cake, or in a stew, raw, with ranch dip etc... Not only that, carrots will keep a long time in the refrigerator. Cake gets moldy after a few days... Make it a hot barista and we have a deal. I respect a good looking lady that gets me coffee in the morning! :lmao: That’s a deal! Yeah, porn stars seem pretty trashy. They might look good, but it's the thought that "This girl would do anyone. What would make me so special?". Why so many men use porn than? (And in most cases it is not 40+ porn either) Link to post Share on other sites
Author morelaugh Posted October 21, 2007 Author Share Posted October 21, 2007 Brilliant? Yes. Absolutely? I don't think so. Absolute brilliance is probably impossible for a human to achieve. Relative brilliance (of which I think Saxis' post is an example) occurs pretty often, although a lot less often than absolute stupidity, which humans do seem capable of. :lmao: Can I use this? Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 Yes. According to him every woman who’s come to a certain age, has to deal (and accept) that at some point. The sooner the better. Otherwise, she is fighting against the nature, as men will always (more or less secretly) desire younger women. My mouth dropped when I read this. Not only is it horribly biased and sexist, it's also just plain NOT TRUE. Older women are hot-hot-hot now. Charlize Theron just got voted the Sexiest Woman Alive or something, and she's 40, 41,... Let the dinosaurs leer at our younger sisters (just hope they don't flash their saggy *sses to them, or forget their Viagra). Us older women are getting plenty of action with the younger guys, thank you very much!! Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 Brilliant? Yes. Absolutely? I don't think so. Absolute brilliance is probably impossible for a human to achieve. Relative brilliance (of which I think Saxis' post is an example) occurs pretty often, although a lot less often than absolute stupidity, which humans do seem capable of. This is debatable. But you'd know better than I, I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Saxis Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 Why so many men use porn than? (And in most cases it is not 40+ porn either) I never said it wasn't entertaining! I think most men just enjoy the animalistic nature of it, with all emotion detached. You know how we are about our emotions.... It's pretty hard not to think about the act while watching it, so it's a sure fire way to turn us on! Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 I never said it wasn't entertaining! I think most men just enjoy the animalistic nature of it, with all emotion detached. You know how we are about our emotions.... It's pretty hard not to think about the act while watching it, so it's a sure fire way to turn us on! Yes, and morelaugh, why not watch it WITH your husband? Link to post Share on other sites
Author morelaugh Posted October 21, 2007 Author Share Posted October 21, 2007 I never said it wasn't entertaining! I think most men just enjoy the animalistic nature of it, with all emotion detached. You know how we are about our emotions.... It's pretty hard not to think about the act while watching it, so it's a sure fire way to turn us on! But if older women are so hot and it is all about the act, how come that, in porn, you (and by that I mean ‘men’) watch young ones, teens and staff… not 40+ women? Doesn’t that show your preference? Open Book, BTW, Charlize Theron is 32. Besides, I don’t know many women who would complain if they had her looks. Touche, This is not my first therapist - some are a little subtler perhaps, but they all pretty much say the same thing – you can’t change the nature. A 20 yo will (generally) look better than a 40 yo. Most men will be turn on by a younger woman. Most women will not find a younger man sexually appealing. Link to post Share on other sites
KittenMoon Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 Wait, by this analogy, isn't the cake-craving husband just technically LOOKING at the cake- flipping through an issue of Bon Appetite as it were? It's not like he's actually going out for cake! He's just fantasizing about eating it, while actually going for the carrots in real life! This is a weird analogy.... but I gotta say, lay off the porn and let him look, as long as it doesn't get out of hand, and he's not looking for the real () thing. Try getting some porn together even- could spice up your love life. Start with softcore if you're squeamish about that kinda stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
blowingthetrout Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 neither, I'm a fruit! *Zorro pose* Link to post Share on other sites
Author morelaugh Posted October 21, 2007 Author Share Posted October 21, 2007 How can watching perfect looking women with my H help? I don’t get turned on by looking at sexy naked women. He gets turned on by women half my age and 10 times better looking. Who look like I once did (not that I’m hideous, but I definitely cannot compete) Watching the act I can understand (and enjoy) – but I realise now, it is not about the act, it is more about hot women. Link to post Share on other sites
Saxis Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 But if older women are so hot and it is all about the act, how come that, in porn, you (and by that I mean ‘men’) watch young ones, teens and staff… not 40+ women? Doesn’t that show your preference? I think this is more a question of availability. The "barely legal" girls are available. They're putting themselves through college, or whatever, and they really aren't ready to settle down. I don't even remember the last time I actually went out and shopped for porn (or if I ever have? ), but I'm not sure there's even much of a selection for older women. I really have no clue if that's because it's not in demand, or because it's hard to find the older women who would do it. I certainly don't know any that would... Edit: I'm thinking a good test of this would be to go on Youporn or Xtube and see how many older people are posting... Not many I think. Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean-Blue Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 It's all a balance, isn't it? Why do you have to be one or the other? Why can't you be a bit of both? You can be his lover and his friend. His confidant and his goddess. Sounds cheesy maybe, but I find this to be very true. The most successful relationships are those where there is a balance. Sexual chemistry is important...this is why some wives end up being just a carrot. Same with some husbands. You need to court each other - even after marriage. People get complacent and settle for being vegetables. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 How can watching perfect looking women with my H help? I don’t get turned on by looking at sexy naked women. He gets turned on by women half my age and 10 times better looking. Who look like I once did (not that I’m hideous, but I definitely cannot compete) Watching the act I can understand (and enjoy) – but I realise now, it is not about the act, it is more about hot women. How do you know that? Because you're incompetent therapist told you so? I don't know about that. Maybe it IS about the act. Why not offer to watch with him and see how it goes? Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 neither, I'm a fruit! *Zorro pose* :D:D You go, my man!! But if older women are so hot and it is all about the act, how come that, in porn, you (and by that I mean ‘men’) watch young ones, teens and staff… not 40+ women? Doesn’t that show your preference? Open Book, BTW, Charlize Theron is 32. Besides, I don’t know many women who would complain if they had her looks. Touche, This is not my first therapist - some are a little subtler perhaps, but they all pretty much say the same thing – you can’t change the nature. A 20 yo will (generally) look better than a 40 yo. Most men will be turn on by a younger woman. Most women will not find a younger man sexually appealing. Okay, fine. You're doomed. Hang it up. Forget it. You'll never be sexy again. Those days are over. All is lost. Are these all male therapists?? Just curious... IMO you are crediting the men in your life with WAY too much power over your own hotness. Take back your own power, woman!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author morelaugh Posted October 21, 2007 Author Share Posted October 21, 2007 Are these all male therapists?? Just curious... As a matter of fact, they are. I thought a man would better understand how men in general feel. Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 This comparison comes from my counsellor: Young sexy porn star (or a young hot passing girl) represents a piece of luscious cake – always a temptation, very exciting, very satisfying, but something you know you can’t afford to eat every day (and you definitely wouldn’t want to live on it for a long time). On the other hand, a 40-something wife is a carrot – not so tasty and exciting (but the taste is reasonably good), you know it’s good for you and you know you could live your whole life eating it and it will only make you healthier. Even if you somehow manage to become a carrot cake, your guy will be still tempted by a chocolate cake. Do men generally feel/behave like that? And what would you rather be? Who says someone wouldn't want to date a young hottie for a long time, or can't afford to? And there's a major assumption that getting married and staying with someone your whole life is the ideal thing to do. I don't see how one's health - physical, mental, or emotional - is dependent on getting married and staying with one woman your entire life. Personally I'd go for a something luscious but healthy - maybe a tropical fruit. Get the best of both worlds. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 This comparison comes from my counsellor: Young sexy porn star (or a young hot passing girl) represents a piece of luscious cake – always a temptation, very exciting, very satisfying, but something you know you can’t afford to eat every day (and you definitely wouldn’t want to live on it for a long time). On the other hand, a 40-something wife is a carrot – not so tasty and exciting (but the taste is reasonably good), you know it’s good for you and you know you could live your whole life eating it and it will only make you healthier. That analogy is kind of insulting! If I were a carrot analogy, I'd be very tempted to use the analogy of kicking my counsellor in the nuts. More to the point, cake rarely leaves you with a burning, itching sensation. Then again I'm not much of a cake guy anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Author morelaugh Posted October 21, 2007 Author Share Posted October 21, 2007 IMO you are crediting the men in your life with WAY too much power over your own hotness. Take back your own power, woman!! If he thinks a 20 yo is hotter than me, how can my opinion change that? I can think I’m hot all I want, but I’m not the one ‘doing’ myself ... Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 More to the point, cake rarely leaves you with a burning, itching sensation. Then again I'm not much of a cake guy anyway. Now that's funny. Even though I'm not 40 something, I will pipe up that my ex-H chose hippo, for a change of diet. In the end, a few nibbles on hippo lost him something he supposedly valued. I've never tried hippo before. I prefer lean meat. Link to post Share on other sites
Author morelaugh Posted October 21, 2007 Author Share Posted October 21, 2007 So, are you guys basically saying that he is not right or that he is just not polite? I agree that the way he said it is not nice. But is he right? Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 My counsellor was trying to explain by using this analogy – like, I am a carrot and my H will always have cravings for a cake – I just have to accept that. Apparently, 40+ yo woman can never be a chocolate cake and has to be satisfied with being a carrot. Or an apple. Or something like that. Well, I’m having trouble accepting that. Why can’t I be his cake? So, I’m just trying to see what other people think. I'm happy with that too. I'm not just not happy with me being a carrot and him craving for a cake. You aren't going to look like a 20 year old, so you can't appeal to your husband that way. But in every single respect other than having a youthful appearance, you can appeal to him. So if you are making every other side of you as sensual and attractive as possible, then yeah 99% of men would be happy with that. But 99% of women do not make that effort, and often do not even know how to. As an example, he may well watch porn because he likes the idea of just some kind of dirty nasty sex. If you never do that together, he will use porn to scratch that itch elsewhere (or if no porn, he'll just use his imagination). But if he were getting that from his wife, he probably wouldn't have the desire to look at porn or fantasize about someone else. Now I have no idea what itches he might need scratching - it all depends on the individual. The question is, do *you* know what he really wants? Have you ever discussed it? Maybe he wants you to bend down when you are in the car, unzip his fly and give him a blowjob; maybe he wants to come home from work and find you naked in a bubble bath with some champagne on ice. Who knows, it depends on his taste. But until you find out what makes him tick, you aren't going to be able to satisfy that side of him. Trust me, when a guy is fully satisfied with a woman sexually, porn is the last thing on his mind because the real thing is much better! But if the sex life is average or worse, then yeah he is going to think about that, and that'll mean using porn sometimes (or a lot). IMO you need to discuss these things and open up to each other. Don't necessarily have a formal talk, but when you're getting touchy feely in bed, say you are feeling a bit naughty and ask him to tell some of his fantasies, get an idea for what he likes. Then take it from there! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 I'm guessing your councillor is a man going through mid-life crisis... Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 So, are you guys basically saying that he is not right or that he is just not polite? I agree that the way he said it is not nice. But is he right? Depends on the guy you married. Let me ask you this... what does a 20yo woman have that you dont? Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 Your therapist sounds like a jack ass. I am a "tasty" "exciting" 40 yr old human being, and never lack for suitors. It's nothing to do with initial attraction. It's to do with sexual fulfillment after the initial year or two lust stage has worn off. It's when boredom sets in, and some online porn starts to look appealing by comparison. That's what happens when people lack sexual chemistry & imagination in the bedroom. Usually it's caused by laziness and lack of communication/openness, but sometimes it is just incurable sexual incompatibility. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 No point. I’m having trouble with accepting my H’s porn viewing and looking at other women and all that. My counsellor was trying to explain by using this analogy – like, I am a carrot and my H will always have cravings for a cake – I just have to accept that. Apparently, 40+ yo woman can never be a chocolate cake and has to be satisfied with being a carrot. Or an apple. Or something like that. Well, I’m having trouble accepting that. Why can’t I be his cake? So, I’m just trying to see what other people think. I'm happy with that too. I'm not just not happy with me being a carrot and him craving for a cake. But your counsellor is a twit... Sorry Morelaugh...but not all therapists are good therapist... I see lots of 20 yr old who are overweight, who just look awful... they're not even a bean... LOL For him to say this: Apparently, 40+ yo woman can never be a chocolate cake and has to be satisfied with being a carrot. Or an apple. Or something like that. Is sooo totally untrue... he's a twit with a capital T... get rid of him. Geezz does he think he's dealing with a 13 yr old here? Link to post Share on other sites
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