Mr. Romantic Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 I had to clean the kitchen with the kids help. I had the kid help me cook dinner. I cooked dinner. I SERVED dinner. I cleaned the dishes as I went. I put the leftovers away. I cleaned the remaining dishes, started the dishwasher. The foaming soap was low, so I grabbed the dishsoap and refilled the dispenser. NOOOO. That's the WRONG soap, it puts a coating on the pots that ruins them. The soap is 'Sunlight Ultra' dish soap. Sooooo all the goods get screwed by the one bad. Is that how women keep score?? IT SUCKS Link to post Share on other sites
annieo Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 Quick clarification (from a woman who is extremely grateful and verbally appreciative for any and all assistance on the home front): 1. Did she, at any point, thank you/show appreciation for all the good stuff? If yes, then don't get overly sensitive about the advice on soap. Was it said in a carping tone (e.g., Hey, loser, don't you know which soap to put in the dispenser?) or was it gently delivered, more matter of fact. 2. Is this the first time in eons that you have done this sort of thing? Do you do other work around the house without being asked/nagged? You don't get a medal for one meal (believe me, or I'd be covered in them by now!). Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 Oh stop the whining and be a man. My H and I always get after each other over stupid stuff like that. We just don't take it so seriously. Obviously there's more that you're bothered by than just the stupid dishwashing liquid. So what's REALLY bugging you? Care to talk about it? Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 On the bright side: you probably won't have to do any of that cooking/cleaning BS anymore. Nice work! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr. Romantic Posted October 21, 2007 Author Share Posted October 21, 2007 Question #1 is more than one question. 1A. Yes, she loved the dinner, said yummy twice to let me know she was pleased. 1B. YES. It was delivered in the YOUR SUCH A DUMBASS mode. 2 is a little tougher. I do a lot of stuff. But as it SEEMS I am wrong a lot more than I am right. I am almost NEVER asked to do any housework. I just have to do it or it wont get done. Not to say EVERYTHING, but there is so much to do, I have to pick a chore and do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 If you stop she'll have even MORE to bitch about, so I wouldn't recommend that plan of attack. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr. Romantic Posted October 21, 2007 Author Share Posted October 21, 2007 See above. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr. Romantic Posted October 21, 2007 Author Share Posted October 21, 2007 On the bright side: you probably won't have to do any of that cooking/cleaning BS anymore. Nice work! Not likely. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 Question #1 is more than one question. 1A. Yes, she loved the dinner, said yummy twice to let me know she was pleased. 1B. YES. It was delivered in the YOUR SUCH A DUMBASS mode. 2 is a little tougher. I do a lot of stuff. But as it SEEMS I am wrong a lot more than I am right. I am almost NEVER asked to do any housework. I just have to do it or it wont get done. Not to say EVERYTHING, but there is so much to do, I have to pick a chore and do it. Do you both work? And why not sit down and write out what duties you'll each be responsible for if you can't just agree verbally? Start using humor when she gets sarcastic. Don't engage her in it. Be a man. Link to post Share on other sites
Faith4u Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 Is she a perfectionist? That can explain it...! Some people care about the little things and in this case you leave them the entire work to do. remind them that if you will help them in the future it will be your way since you are doing it. Also, you can tell her that if she has a comment all she can do is say it nicely so you can note it in the future. I had to clean the kitchen with the kids help. I had the kid help me cook dinner. I cooked dinner. I SERVED dinner. I cleaned the dishes as I went. I put the leftovers away. I cleaned the remaining dishes, started the dishwasher. The foaming soap was low, so I grabbed the dishsoap and refilled the dispenser. NOOOO. That's the WRONG soap, it puts a coating on the pots that ruins them. The soap is 'Sunlight Ultra' dish soap. Sooooo all the goods get screwed by the one bad. Is that how women keep score?? IT SUCKS Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 Is she a perfectionist? That can explain it...! Some people care about the little things and in this case you leave them the entire work to do. remind them that if you will help them in the future it will be your way since you are doing it. Also, you can tell her that if she has a comment all she can do is say it nicely so you can note it in the future. I completely agree with this. In fact this very thing came up with my H and I today. We have something we're both responsible for. Anyway, he finished his part and I'm to take over the rest. Well he started in about how it was to be done and what I have to remember, and yada, yada, ocd blatherings, blah blah...I stopped him and I said this: "Look, you're part is over with. I didn't tell you how to do your part. I'm taking over my part and you're to extend the same courtesy...if you don't, I'll hand it back over to you and I'll wash my hands of the whole thing." That stopped the discussion and we went on to something more pleasant. Link to post Share on other sites
annieo Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 Question #1 is more than one question. 1A. Yes, she loved the dinner, said yummy twice to let me know she was pleased. 1B. YES. It was delivered in the YOUR SUCH A DUMBASS mode. 2 is a little tougher. I do a lot of stuff. But as it SEEMS I am wrong a lot more than I am right. I am almost NEVER asked to do any housework. I just have to do it or it wont get done. Not to say EVERYTHING, but there is so much to do, I have to pick a chore and do it. All I can say is she is lucky. I generally have to ask...although I will admit that I am a control freak, I stupidly regard the house as my responsibility (despite the fact that I have a full-time job) and can be an interfering perfectionist (although my exhaustion lately has made me less picky). Let it go. You sound like a great partner. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr. Romantic Posted October 21, 2007 Author Share Posted October 21, 2007 Do you both work? And why not sit down and write out what duties you'll each be responsible for if you can't just agree verbally? If you think you can get her to agree verbally or in writing, you're welcome to try. Start using humor when she gets sarcastic. Don't engage her in it. Be a man. I am a man, M'mam. Humor works most of the time, but this time I was just called on it because (in her HO) I screwed up. And thanks for asking if I want to talk it out. That was kind. Maybe later when I cool down. Link to post Share on other sites
directx Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 I dunno. You are a man? You wife bitches to you about the soap dispenser and you come here to complain about it? Just freak'n tell her what you said here, and let her know how it's going to be. I just couldn't imagine John Wayne running to a forum if his wife gave him hell about a soap dispenser being filled wrong. Plus, no housework gets done unless YOU do it? She has you trained well. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 Ok, she sounds unreasonable if she just wants to keep harping at you and won't even sit down like an adult. And yes, you have to be the man. Don't put up with that. Why do I get the feeling that you're a little intimidated by her..that you let her bully you? Tell her that you INSIST on sitting down and agreeing on who is responsible for what. It's that simple. Don't accept anything less. And you're welcome. You can vent here any time. We'll all listen. Marriage can be tough but it really doesn't have to be. This is so easily solved really. Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 I seriously doubt this is about soap.... I've noticed women often complain about small things when something much bigger is on their minds (minds we're supposed to read). Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 I dunno. You are a man? You wife bitches to you about the soap dispenser and you come here to complain about it? Just freak'n tell her what you said here, and let her know how it's going to be. I just couldn't imagine John Wayne running to a forum if his wife gave him hell about a soap dispenser being filled wrong. Plus, no housework gets done unless YOU do it? She has you trained well. Please don't be mad at me Mr. Romantic but directx here (a guy no less) made me laugh so hard! SO true. That's kind of what I was trying to say and Mr. Romantic got mad at me for implying he's not a man but this is what I meant. I mean I can't imagine my H wringing his hands over something like this. He'd drop the sponge, walk away and tell ME to do the damn dishes if I think I could do it better. That would sure shut me the hell up! (And has:mad:) Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 Oh stop the whining and be a man. Just curious, do you talk to your own H that way?? I for one admire any man who is willing to do the dishes. Even if he's not good at it. You married women don't appreciate how great you have it!! Mr. Romantic, you fill up that soap dispenser with whatever you g**d*mn well please. Link to post Share on other sites
directx Posted October 22, 2007 Share Posted October 22, 2007 Just curious, do you talk to your own H that way?? I for one admire any man who is willing to do the dishes. Even if he's not good at it. You married women don't appreciate how great you have it!! Mr. Romantic, you fill up that soap dispenser with whatever you g**d*mn well please. If her H acts like 'Mr. Romantic', I hope she does talk to him like that. He is not acting like a man. His wife has his testicles in a jar. Probably in that soap dish. Its not the doing the dishes that doesn't make him a man. Its the fact he won't stand up for himself and allow himself to be a doormat is the problem. He's got to run to a forum to complain about his wife instead to her. What does that tell ya Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr. Romantic Posted October 22, 2007 Author Share Posted October 22, 2007 I dunno. You are a man? You wife bitches to you about the soap dispenser and you come here to complain about it? Just freak'n tell her what you said here, and let her know how it's going to be. I just couldn't imagine John Wayne running to a forum if his wife gave him hell about a soap dispenser being filled wrong. Plus, no housework gets done unless YOU do it? She has you trained well. If her H acts like 'Mr. Romantic', I hope she does talk to him like that. He is not acting like a man. His wife has his testicles in a jar. Probably in that soap dish. Its not the doing the dishes that doesn't make him a man. Its the fact he won't stand up for himself and allow himself to be a doormat is the problem. He's got to run to a forum to complain about his wife instead to her. What does that tell ya You know what dipstick, you must be a real man. I'm just a regular man. You would no doubt tell your wife '**** off Bitch. If you don't like it, kiss my ass'. I don't have to run to a forum to complain. I did come to the forum to blow off some steam rather than create more of a ****storm here at home by saying "'**** off Bitch. If you don't like it, kiss my ass". I guess I should be a real man. Maybe you'd like to inspect my testicles. But then again, you'd probably expect the same treatment. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr. Romantic Posted October 22, 2007 Author Share Posted October 22, 2007 Jesus, No wonder I never wanted to post anything here. Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted October 22, 2007 Share Posted October 22, 2007 Jesus, No wonder I never wanted to post anything here.And why I rarely post anything about my own situation. You can get great advice here, but you can't be thin skinned if you're going to ask for it. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted October 22, 2007 Share Posted October 22, 2007 Mr. Romantic, you're just getting tough love from people who have everything with respect to your problem all figured out. Tough love is similar to prison rape. If you fight it it just gets worse. Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted October 22, 2007 Share Posted October 22, 2007 Mr. Romantic, you're just getting tough love from people who have everything with respect to your problem all figured out. Tough love is similar to prison rape. If you fight it it just gets worse.Sorry, mini thread jack, but johan, you literally made me laugh out loud. Link to post Share on other sites
Integra Posted October 22, 2007 Share Posted October 22, 2007 I seriously doubt this is about soap.... I've noticed women often complain about small things when something much bigger is on their minds (minds we're supposed to read). This is very true.. I will even openly admitting doing this to my H for years. And vice-versa... Are you and your W having any other types of disagreements, or problems?.. Most people, not just W's, in a M find it easier to blow their stacks about insignificant small crap, than to actually discuss what is really bothering them.. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts