I can't even refill the soap right.

[Timberlane]

Actually automatic dishwasher soap will ruin the surface on aluminum pans. Even the hard anodized aluminum can be ruined. So will cooking acidic foods such as tomatoes. And it doesn't take much to do it either. I've done it.

 

Ruin as in make all dull and no longer shiny? So what?!!!! You can still cook in them. My mother's aluminum pots and pans have zero luster. They cook well still to this day. All that other fuss is primadona chef talk.

 

Now this one's a hoot. Ever see someone cook in the crappy pots so that the nice ones don't get ruined? Ha ha ha. Seen it many a time.

[johan]

Ruin as in make all dull and no longer shiny? So what?!!!! You can still cook in them. My mother's aluminum pots and pans have zero luster. They cook well still to this day. All that other fuss is primadona chef talk.

 

Now this one's a hoot. Ever see someone cook in the crappy pots so that the nice ones don't get ruined? Ha ha ha. Seen it many a time.

 

The anodized surface is a better non-stick surface than the raw aluminum. And I personally don't like consuming aluminum in my food.

[magda]

I had to clean the kitchen with the kids help.

 

I had the kid help me cook dinner.

 

I cooked dinner.

 

I SERVED dinner.

 

I cleaned the dishes as I went.

 

I put the leftovers away.

 

I cleaned the remaining dishes, started the dishwasher.

 

The foaming soap was low, so I grabbed the dishsoap and refilled

the dispenser.

 

NOOOO. That's the WRONG soap, it puts a coating on the pots that

ruins them. The soap is 'Sunlight Ultra' dish soap.

 

Sooooo all the goods get screwed by the one bad.

 

Is that how women keep score??

 

IT SUCKS

 

I'm still wondering how often this stuff gets done by Mr. R. Most people would say, "I cooked and cleaned up," but he stretches out these tasks to a very long list. If my husband made dinner some night and actually tidied I would be thankful for the help but not feel it necessary to keep quiet about which dishwashing fluid is correct. Of course, I would not wish to sound rude about the correction, but I imagine that Mr. R. felt that he should be knighted for making dinner and cleaning up but he found out he really doesn't do it so often as he thinks or perhaps he'd be less clueless about what soap is used.

 

Really I felt that he demonizes his wife and acts like nothing gets done around there if he doesn't do it himself but I wonder what she was doing in the kitchen to know that the soap was getting low and set a refill nearby, and have a system for which soap works best on the pans. It sounds like the kitchen is more her domain and she manages the upkeep more than given credit for. I'm getting off on a tangent.... but I guess I've gotten annoyed just thinking about husbands who bang out a cleaning job in a couple of hours once a month and consider themselves big helpers and minimize the effort involved in all the little daily tasks the wives often take responsibility for. Sorry to Mr. R if that doesn't apply to him. In fact, sorry anyway because I know I've taken creative liberties filling in blanks of missing information.

 

I don't think people should be critical of other peoples work or rude and such if they expect help.

[pythonshoes]

We have had our serious ups and downs, and as I'm fond of saying,

this wasn't the hill I wanted to die on, so that's why I walked away.

We also agreed to keep 'workin' on it'.

When you walked away, di she follow and keep harping?

 

Now as to the other 'places' this thread has gone.

 

No, the sex life doesn't suck, well not in THAT way.

It used to, but things have changed.

So, there have been issues in the bedroom that could leak out into the kitchen;)

 

Dealing with a long time spouse on everyday mundane chores can

indeed be challenging, when no one is in the mood after a long days

work, yet the chores still need to be done.

It's called "compromising" but most of you know that.

I don't remember seeing how long you've been married.

What chores did she do that day?

Maybe you both were just tired from the day and sensitivity and overreaction is to be expected.

 

Someone mentioned Dr. Grays book, and I believe that's where I

first read about 'keeping score', which was the POINT of this thread

before the meltdown.

Women do indeed keep score differently. But it also relates to the

love 'bucket'. When I do a nice thing, I get a ticket punched into the

love bucket for future use, as does she when she does something

sweet for me. But as was the intended point, my nine or ten

good tickets got penalized by the referee.

Do you call her the referee?

Wow, did she tell you that you were penalized that much for a silly mistake?

 

Sorry about getting angry with some

of the posts, but if you don't know me or my W, then just stick to

the subject, and not the participants.

 

This has been a good discussion.

OK, but I saw the participants being you and your wife and the subject as criticism and sensitivity.

So, I'd have to know more about the participants to play a judgement game. And if you are too sensitive to criticism then some of the responses on this thread would hurt.

 

Well, it certainly has been interesting if not terribly informative.

[luvmy2ns]

I'm still wondering how often this stuff gets done by Mr. R. Most people would say, "I cooked and cleaned up," but he stretches out these tasks to a very long list. If my husband made dinner some night and actually tidied I would be thankful for the help but not feel it necessary to keep quiet about which dishwashing fluid is correct. Of course, I would not wish to sound rude about the correction, but I imagine that Mr. R. felt that he should be knighted for making dinner and cleaning up but he found out he really doesn't do it so often as he thinks or perhaps he'd be less clueless about what soap is used.

 

Really I felt that he demonizes his wife and acts like nothing gets done around there if he doesn't do it himself but I wonder what she was doing in the kitchen to know that the soap was getting low and set a refill nearby, and have a system for which soap works best on the pans. It sounds like the kitchen is more her domain and she manages the upkeep more than given credit for. I'm getting off on a tangent.... but I guess I've gotten annoyed just thinking about husbands who bang out a cleaning job in a couple of hours once a month and consider themselves big helpers and minimize the effort involved in all the little daily tasks the wives often take responsibility for. Sorry to Mr. R if that doesn't apply to him. In fact, sorry anyway because I know I've taken creative liberties filling in blanks of missing information.

 

I don't think people should be critical of other peoples work or rude and such if they expect help.

 

You obviously didn't read the rest of his posts in this thread. Sounds like he's the housemaid to me, and she's never satisfied.

[milx]

You obviously didn't read the rest of his posts in this thread. Sounds like he's the housemaid to me, and she's never satisfied.

 

You know this by reading all his posts? You don't think that he could probably exaggerated about the whole thing, maybe because he is mad about something else?

 

I'm just curious because sometimes it isn't so bad but Hs or Ws even, make it bigger than it really is.

[luvmy2ns]

You know this by reading all his posts? You don't think that he could probably exaggerated about the whole thing, maybe because he is mad about something else?

 

I'm just curious because sometimes it isn't so bad but Hs or Ws even, make it bigger than it really is.

 

Well, since none of us is there in his house watching, his posts are all we have to go by, right? If the guy wants the correct advice, which is what he sought, he'll tell the truth. If he lies and gets bad advice as a result, oh well.

[Kenyth]

Actually automatic dishwasher soap will ruin the surface on aluminum pans. Even the hard anodized aluminum can be ruined. So will cooking acidic foods such as tomatoes. And it doesn't take much to do it either. I've done it.

 

It's more a reason to buy different pots and pans than it is to argue in a marriage. If I were Mr. R and wanted to live up to my name, I'd get her some stainless steel cookware.

 

You actually want an oxide coating on aluminum cookware. It dulls the finish, but protects you from consuming dissolved aluminum. You want shiny? Get Stainless. You want hassle free? Get non-stick.

[milx]

Well, since none of us is there in his house watching, his posts are all we have to go by, right? If the guy wants the correct advice, which is what he sought, he'll tell the truth. If he lies and gets bad advice as a result, oh well.

 

Yeah I thot so.

[luvmy2ns]

Yeah I thot so.

 

Well, I guess we could all make something up, then. That makes much more sense.

[pythonshoes]

Well, I guess we could all make something up, then. That makes much more sense.

 

Sure,

because I get antsy when my questions are left hanging.

 

(maybe they're having make-up sex! I like that!)

[DazedandConfused66]

You don't think that he could probably exaggerated about the whole thing, maybe because he is mad about something else?

 

Entirely plausible that he's telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

 

Take me for example...I've NEVER, not ONCE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, EVER NEVER exaggerated about ANYTHING. Not since the day I first learned to speak words have I EVER exaggerated. And I NEVER will either. No matter if you threatened me with a chainsaw enema, I'd NEVER exaggerate.

 

So yeah...it's possible.

 

[luvmy2ns]

Sure,

because I get antsy when my questions are left hanging.

 

(maybe they're having make-up sex! I like that!)

 

Hey, maybe they are! Now THERE's a great imagination!!

[JLMickey]

I'm sorry... I just think this entry is really cute and it reminds me of my husband and myself. (It's sort of an Everybody Loves Raymond-style problem). Anyway, what my husband and I have decided to do is just agree upon certain "domains" and we're not allowed to complain about how the other handles his/her area of expertise. For example, I would rather eat the raw lower intestine of a pig than take the garbage out. I don't know why... I just HATE it. I also hate laundry--- it's the worst; and please don't get me started on ironing... not going to happen! Even though I'm a professional working woman, I would sooner go to work with wrinkles than operate the iron. I do, however, LOVE cooking, and I also love making sure the house is clean (vacuuming, waxing the hardwoods, dusting, even scrubbing the toilets doesn't bother me.) So, what happens is he does the laundry (and he so nicely irons and puts stuff in the right drawers), and I cook every mean, and make sure the dishes are done afterwards, etc. It works out. I don't complain about how he does the laundry (for fear that I'll actually have to do it myself if I do), and he doesn't complain about the cooking (for fear he'll starve to death). It works out. I would suggest creating a list of chores, or things you're willing to do. Remember, though, nobody is allowed to complain about how the other person does it!

[DazedandConfused66]

^^^^^

 

VERY good and practical advice. I like it!