Asking my ex to be my fwb?

[monkey00]

Just a thought...

Anyway I haven't spoken to my ex in almost a year. She got online today and messaged me as I was on. She's different now and appears like she's mellowed out a lot. We were talking back and forth about what we've been up to, I have all these new and exciting things going on in my life and she's still stuck in school apparently.

 

All of a sudden in the middle of the conversation she asked if i was seeing anyone, I said no that I've been working. so I asked her back, she said she was dating a guy over the summer, but now she's not seeing anyone. She says she's pretty busy with school and internship and stuff.

 

Then this thought occurred to me that I should ask her to be my FWB, afterall we're both single and neither of us really have the time for a relationship. And we're pretty much over each other anyway..so hell why not?

 

Would she -

A) say yes

B) decline and be disgusted

C) say no but be flattered at the offer

 

I really don't know why but my gut tells me she would say yes, as strange as that may be.

[oppath]

Playing with fire here. I think you should see her in person first, and see if there is any flirtation and vibe before asking something like this. You could REALLY offend her if the context isn't right.

[Lizzie60]

as long as you both don,t have any 'love' for each other, it's fine.

 

I have the same relationship with my last ex... he's a sweetheart.

[monkey00]

Playing with fire here. I think you should see her in person first, and see if there is any flirtation and vibe before asking something like this. You could REALLY offend her if the context isn't right.

 

I think you're onto something here, since we pretty much caught up over the web there doesn't seem to be any real purpose in meeting up for coffee. Well, I am moving to a new place soon which I could use as an incentive to get her to see my new place.

 

As for offending, it was very bold of her to ask me if I was seeing anyone..she's never had those kind of balls like that in the past. And I told her she's weird now.

[oppath]

as long as you both don,t have any 'love' for each other, it's fine.

 

I have the same relationship with my last ex... he's a sweetheart.

 

True, but how do you know if it will be fine? Do you outright ask? Or do you approach with enough caution that you won't risk offending someone? If my ex had asked me to be FWB NOW, 8-9 months later, instead of 1.5 weeks, I probably would have been ok with it, but I wouldn't want her to just ask "want to be FWB." I'd find that rather distasteful. I think suggesting to meet for a drink and seeing how you interact is a much better idea so you can guage whether it might be something she was interested in.

[oppath]

As for offending, it was very bold of her to ask me if I was seeing anyone..she's never had those kind of balls like that in the past. And I told her she's weird now.

 

But asking someone "are you dating someone" can't be construed as offensive. Her asking that doesn't mean she'd be down to sleep with you casually!!! She might be PISSED if you ask her. This is where the FRIEND part kicks in. A true FWB, you do care about her feelings, so you need to explore the vibe before asking. I mean, would you email a random friend you thought was hot "want to be FWB?" NO! Make sure the flirtation is there IN PERSON.

[White Flower]

Then this thought occurred to me that I should ask her to be my FWB, afterall we're both single and neither of us really have the time for a relationship. And we're pretty much over each other anyway..so hell why not?

 

.

 

Hi M,

 

I'm new here and not all acronyms can be found on the FAQ list. I understand F and B, but what is W? I'll probably get it the second I hit the send button and laugh really hard at myself!

[monkey00]

But asking someone "are you dating someone" can't be construed as offensive. Her asking that doesn't mean she'd be down to sleep with you casually!!! She might be PISSED if you ask her. This is where the FRIEND part kicks in. A true FWB, you do care about her feelings, so you need to explore the vibe before asking. I mean, would you email a random friend you thought was hot "want to be FWB?" NO! Make sure the flirtation is there IN PERSON.

 

eh...women don't honor friendships like guys do. Although we talk about stuff I think she's pretty useless as a friend. Whenever a new guy comes into the picture she practically disappears. And when she's single all of a sudden she reappears. I'll try to get her to come out and see what happens among that busy schedule of hers.

 

Hi M,

 

I'm new here and not all acronyms can be found on the FAQ list. I understand F and B, but what is W? I'll probably get it the second I hit the send button and laugh really hard at myself!

FWB = Friends with benefit

[IrishCarBomb]

The ex turned into a fwb is common but dangerous. Emotions mess it up every single time. Old feelings come back, and it's tough to keep it as friends for very long.

 

If it's something you want to do though... don't even mention it. Just meet up with her, and when it's time to make your move, just do it.

[White Flower]

FWB = Friends with benefit

 

 

Duh......I'm so laughing at myself! Thanks, M.

[fray718]

who broke up with who and why? That I think makes a difference. I think fwb will only work if it was a mutual breakup....totally mutual.

[The Joker]

 

Then this thought occurred to me that I should ask her to be my FWB, afterall we're both single and neither of us really have the time for a relationship. And we're pretty much over each other anyway..so hell why not?

 

Would she -

A) say yes

B) decline and be disgusted

C) say no but be flattered at the offer

 

Why the hell not is right you've got a 1 in 3 chance, roll the dice. What have you got to lose.

[Quinch]

It would be very dangerous if the reasons you broke up are still unresolved (or unresolvable) but it could be a chance to start again if you can fix those issues. good luck.