greengoddess Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 I made him choose too. I told him get D or we are through. He chose to not get a D and asking for time off, during which time he started to pursue me but I was not interested anymore, in time he ended up moving back with his W and came back looking for me and that's when I confronted his W. I wanted him out of my hair for good. Of course she has no power over him, silly me I thought she could keep him under a tight leash. He still contacted me for months after that, he hasn't sent me anything in a month...I heard he was Ding things were going very bad for them. I think I'll hear from him again, he sends me messages another way which I cannot speak of here that lets me know things are going very poorly for them and he is def not over me. But I know what's what. You allowed him to contact you for months after he chose his wife. You allow him to keep speaking with you. Lyssa never allowed that. Don't you think you are still his backup plan since his marriage is going bad? Why insult his wife with the tight leash comment? Do you really believe a woman can or should watch her man 24/7? Good for her that she will soon be rid of him. Now what do you do when he comes knocking on your door a divorced man. Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 I was dead serious. He will not contact me to see how I am doing, he knows full well I will tell. so, Yes I would follow through. I don't even want to start the relationship up again, and I would still tell if he so much as sent a smoke signal up in my general direction. (not bitter, I just know he is an a$$) Smart. Well done. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 You allowed him to contact you for months after he chose his wife. You allow him to keep speaking with you. Lyssa never allowed that. Don't you think you are still his backup plan since his marriage is going bad? Why insult his wife with the tight leash comment? Do you really believe a woman can or should watch her man 24/7? Good for her that she will soon be rid of him. Now what do you do when he comes knocking on your door a divorced man. He contacted ME I never responded to his advances EVER not even once. One time he caught me on the phone early on because he called me from a weird calling card # and kept calling me until out of curiosity I picked it up and it was him. That time I said to him you call me again and I won't call your wife I'll call the police this tim. What did you want me to do keep picking up the phone and telling his W "your h still contacts me" It's not my problem anymore I did my duty once if she doesn't or cant keep a close eye on him certainly who am I to tell her otherwise. good riddance to both of them really and the snake pit they live in. NOT my problem sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 You allowed him to contact you for months after he chose his wife. You allow him to keep speaking with you. Lyssa never allowed that. Don't you think you are still his backup plan since his marriage is going bad? Why insult his wife with the tight leash comment? Do you really believe a woman can or should watch her man 24/7? Good for her that she will soon be rid of him. Now what do you do when he comes knocking on your door a divorced man. oops meant to say lost4ever not lyssa. haven't heard her situation yet after she said she made him choose. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 Why insult his wife with the tight leash comment? Do you really believe a woman can or should watch her man 24/7? Good for her that she will soon be rid of him. Now what do you do when he comes knocking on your door a divorced man. Well if you are going to stay with a known liar and try to trust him again, yes you should keep a close eye on him otherwise just give him a floral invite with a pink bow on it to walk all over you again. How in the world do you even gain trust back unless you keep a close eye on him? A person would be stupid NOT to. Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 Well if you are going to stay with a known liar and try to trust him again, yes you should keep a close eye on him otherwise just give him a floral invite with a pink bow on it to walk all over you again. How in the world do you even gain trust back unless you keep a close eye on him? A person would be stupid NOT to. The only way to be sure they do not contact the other is to chain yourself to them 24/7. Not a way to live. His wife should not be your concern anyhow. You seem to have a lot of animosity towards her. So when he was with you he was a known cheater. Did you watch his every move? Watch him 24/7? Monitor all phone calls and email correspondence etc etc? Link to post Share on other sites
milx Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 Chain myself to the bed? I like. Link to post Share on other sites
TogetherForever Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 My ex never spoke badly of his W, he would always talk about concepts in round about ways. As time went on little things would slip by but he never ever bad mouthed her. It was more comments you would hear as two friends who are venting, which we all do and I see that as a big difference. Much like you GEL I felt sorry for her too, as time passed I realised she was very determined about work and succeeding professionally but was clueless about how to have a relationship. She was absent from their marriage a lot and when push came to shove she had 0 pride. I sat there listening to her bawlling her eyes out screaming on the phone one night as she begged him not to leave her, she was begging and beggind crying saying please please don't leave me don't do this I don't want to start again I don't want to be alone. I was cringing hearing that I left the room because it made me feel very uncomfrotable for her I felt truly sorry for her and wanted to tell her "woman stop begging for the love of god ahve some pride!" It ended in her suicide threats and our night was ruined. I pushed him to go check up on her. So he really didn't have to bad mouth her much I slowly learned things about her on my own. The one thing he would tell me all the time was that he felt sorry for her. I can see why though I felt sorry for her too. I don't think he admired her much, I don't think he ever did. Oh one thing he did tell me once was that she had an unkept you know what (dowthere) basically a forrest from a 60's porn mag. That made me very uncomfortable and I told him I never want to hear anything like that again. He never did. EEEEWWWW that just turned my stomach!!!!TF Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 The only way to be sure they do not contact the other is to chain yourself to them 24/7. Not a way to live. His wife should not be your concern anyhow. You seem to have a lot of animosity towards her. So when he was with you he was a known cheater. Did you watch his every move? Watch him 24/7? Monitor all phone calls and email correspondence etc etc? his wife isn't my concern, you are accusing me that I let him keep contacting me it's not my job to stop him I did my part and never responded what more would you want me to do? Animosity why do you say that!?!? I think you just don't want hear a lot of the things I express and they rub you the wrong way. I can't help that. I am just stating facts, what you do with them is realy out of my hands. Naaah didn't have to he was with me 24/7 and when he wasn't he was either calling me, emailing me or texting me every other minute asking when he could see me again or telling me how crazy he was about me. I had no worries at all, even when he would have to go to her house to get stuff or meet with her to discuss things I had no worries. He was just not into her at that time so why even worry about where he was when not with me? I think I would have worried later maybe if he could be off with another woman but didn't feel threatened by his wife he was just not into her then. That honestly did not bother me in the least. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 So he is now separated and out of the house? His wife knows? You are with him still correct? Oh yes he is. In fact, he's flying down here as we speak. Bottom line is OW are capable of making their MM to choose. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 Naaah didn't have to he was with me 24/7 and when he wasn't he was either calling me, emailing me or texting me every other minute asking when he could see me again or telling me how crazy he was about me. I had no worries at all, even when he would have to go to her house to get stuff or meet with her to discuss things I had no worries. He was just not into her at that time so why even worry about where he was when not with me? I think I would have worried later maybe if he could be off with another woman but didn't feel threatened by his wife he was just not into her then. That honestly did not bother me in the least. Good for you, TC!! Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 Oh yes he is. In fact, he's flying down here as we speak. Bottom line is OW are capable of making their MM to choose. So he is not sneaking off to fly to meet you? He told his wife he is divorcing her and he is going to be with you? Does he have kids? That will be a hurdle long distance if he has to fly to see you. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 So he is not sneaking off to fly to meet you? He told his wife he is divorcing her and he is going to be with you? Does he have kids? That will be a hurdle long distance if he has to fly to see you. No he isn't sneaking off. The flight attendants and all know he is flying out. Wait.. you mean, his family and friends? Oh yeah, they know. Are you going to write a book with all these Qs? Are you working for his ex-W?? Link to post Share on other sites
TogetherForever Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 No he isn't sneaking off. The flight attendants and all know he is flying out. Wait.. you mean, his family and friends? Oh yeah, they know. Are you going to write a book with all these Qs? Are you working for his ex-W?? Lyssa you are too funny. Good one!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 No he isn't sneaking off. The flight attendants and all know he is flying out. Wait.. you mean, his family and friends? Oh yeah, they know. Are you going to write a book with all these Qs? Are you working for his ex-W?? Most questions are actually masked statements. So, look for the pattern in the questions to find your answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 No he isn't sneaking off. The flight attendants and all know he is flying out. Wait.. you mean, his family and friends? Oh yeah, they know. Are you going to write a book with all these Qs? Are you working for his ex-W?? :laugh: Seriously!! This conversation is for the birds. I don't know why people have such and insatiable curiosity with other people's lives? I mean they ask away and pry and prod and eventually hear everything they need to hear then they don't like what they hear and are shocked and disgusted and dissapointed people's lives could be so different and yet they keep coming back for more. You answer questions honestly and it's still not enough. You see I think some people who profess to only want the truth, really deep down simply CAN'T handle the truth. I love seeing contradictions such as these play out. My motto is sometimes it's best to know less. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 Most questions are actually masked statements. So, look for the pattern in the questions to find your answer. Thanks, Cobra. I do realised that! Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 Most questions are actually masked statements. So, look for the pattern in the questions to find your answer. SO true!!! SO SO true. I learn more from the questions people ask than what they speak. I have ALWAYS said this. Can't stress that enough. Ok we are on the same page def!! Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 :laugh: Seriously!! This conversation is for the birds. I don't know why people have such and insatiable curiosity with other people's lives? I mean they ask away and pry and prod and eventually hear everything they need to hear then they don't like what they hear and are shocked and disgusted and dissapointed people's lives could be so different and yet they keep coming back for more. You answer questions honestly and it's still not enough. You see I think some people who profess to only want the truth, really deep down simply CAN'T handle the truth. I love seeing contradictions such as these play out. My motto is sometimes it's best to know less. Wow! TC!! You took the words out of my mouth!!! LOL. I was going to reply to that and decided to comment on Cobra's post. Then I saw your post. So true!! I have seen it on other threads. The same thing. Qs after Qs and we answer honestly, yet they can't or rather won't accept it! Then they go on about how OW can't accept that some marriages can be a happy one after D-Day. Good for you if it is! I can accept that - have no problems at all!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 Lyssa you are too funny. Good one!!!!! Funny yeah, I guess but I was serious. I like to have a bit of humour in my life. Not just sex. Both make me happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 Wow! TC!! You took the words out of my mouth!!! LOL. I was going to reply to that and decided to comment on Cobra's post. Then I saw your post. So true!! I have seen it on other threads. The same thing. Qs after Qs and we answer honestly, yet they can't or rather won't accept it! Then they go on about how OW can't accept that some marriages can be a happy one after D-Day. Good for you if it is! I can accept that - have no problems at all!!! Yeah that's just it! There is a saying in spanish that they use for people who have a morbid curiosity for things and are never satisfied with what they hear and that is: "Stop looking for a fifth leg on the cat" Link to post Share on other sites
troutie jr Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 Yeah that's just it! There is a saying in spanish that they use for people who have a morbid curiosity for things and are never satisfied with what they hear and that is: "Stop looking for a fifth leg on the cat" TC... People must really adore you! It appears that they can't get enough of what you have to say! They try every angle possible to gain access to that wonderful insightful mind of yours! :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 TC... People must really adore you! It appears that they can't get enough of what you have to say! They try every angle possible to gain access to that wonderful insightful mind of yours! :bunny: What's NOT to love about TC? How can anyone not love someone who says "Dont look for the fifth leg on the cat!" Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 Awww thanks!! Right back at you girllinas!! --------------> You liked that one did you? I liked it too when I heard it it's damn funny! And so apropos here.... Link to post Share on other sites
troutie jr Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 What's NOT to love about TC? How can anyone not love someone who says "Dont look for the fifth leg on the cat!" From what I read of TC's posts is more than just the "fifth leg" comment, the girls got it goin on! An "uncommon" mind as opposed to the "common" mind is a trait of someone who sees beyond the illusion. She's awesome! Link to post Share on other sites
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