Tomcat33 Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 More insults I see. Woggle has never said a bad word about his wife and has always been respectful. Where did that come from? I think you need to look the definition of "insults" up. Look at Woggles past posts will ya, he's not even disputing it why are you? Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 I admit I have issues with women but I show respect when it is given. I don't usually throw out personal insults and I am not abusive. Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 Are you serious? Have you read other forums? Unbelievable. Actually yes I have and the man is almost always told by the wife me or her not both whereas the ow allows both. Except in the case where the naive wife is in the dark that the affair went more underground. the affair partner obviously has this knowledge and is ok with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 Sex is just not a solution to everything. You equate sex with happiness. You need much more than sex to lead a good happy life. Where did that come from? From her posts, I don't read as sex equates happiness. If a couple has great sex, that makes them happy. So be it. Does not mean their lives are all about sex and nothing else. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 Would you take a man back after a dday if he told his wife he wanted to work on the marriage and stay in it? I've read many ow's who have done just that. I wuld think that would be a dealbreaker if you weren't desperate to keep him. Is it really HER choice? If he doesn't COME back... then she doesn't get to see him right?... Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 Why on earth would I want to take him back after D-Day? He can go back anytime for all I care. Not all OW are desperate. A lot of them are independent. Some may not be but majority here are independent. well said.. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 Actually yes I have and the man is almost always told by the wife me or her not both whereas the ow allows both. Except in the case where the naive wife is in the dark that the affair went more underground. the affair partner obviously has this knowledge and is ok with it. yeah and the guy proceeds to keep both only hides it better... staying with a cheater is inviting him to perfect his lying skills even more Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 Where did that come from? From her posts, I don't read as sex equates happiness. If a couple has great sex, that makes them happy. So be it. Does not mean their lives are all about sex and nothing else. seriously!! thanks Lyssa for understanding what I meant Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 yeah and the guy proceeds to keep both only hides it better... staying with a cheater is inviting him to perfect his lying skills even more yes but the wife doesn't realize this. She thinks he saw the pain he caused and will never do it again as he begs and pleads with her whereas the ow willingly continues on with his desperation knowing he just told his wife he loves her and wants to work it out. Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 Where did that come from? From her posts, I don't read as sex equates happiness. If a couple has great sex, that makes them happy. So be it. Does not mean their lives are all about sex and nothing else. The post that comment came from has been deleted. lol I was not just jumping and making far fetched assumptions. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 yes but the wife doesn't realize this. She thinks he saw the pain he caused and will never do it again as he begs and pleads with her whereas the ow willingly continues on with his desperation knowing he just told his wife he loves her and wants to work it out. Oh gimme a break, any other martydom descriptives you'd like to use for the poor "vicitim" of the BS? PUUUULEEEEEASE, she is a victim up until she finds out about the A. Once she knows she takes her destiny into her own hands. The same argument can be used for the OP, why shouldn't they beleive the cheater if he begs and pleads that things will change? Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 Actually yes I have and the man is almost always told by the wife me or her not both whereas the ow allows both. Except in the case where the naive wife is in the dark that the affair went more underground. the affair partner obviously has this knowledge and is ok with it. You see, when an OW make a MM choose, people say she has no rights. If OW shuts up and does nothing, people still talk. Either way, OW never wins. No matter how she explains herself, people are always going to see it their way. Speaking in general. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 The post that comment came from has been deleted. lol I was not just jumping and making far fetched assumptions. I've been following this thread closely, still I didn't see any. But of course, you read it. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 You see, when an OW make a MM choose, people say she has no rights. If OW shuts up and does nothing, people still talk. Either way, OW never wins. No matter how she explains herself, people are always going to see it their way. Speaking in general. That's why you have to say to yourself "to hell with what people say, you can't please everyone" Just make sure to please #1" Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 You see, when an OW make a MM choose, people say she has no rights. If OW shuts up and does nothing, people still talk. Either way, OW never wins. No matter how she explains herself, people are always going to see it their way. Speaking in general. How often though do you actually see an ow make him make a choice? He absolutely needs to be told that by the ow too. It is wrong to keep one woman totally in the dark and the other strung along. Most ow are afraid to rock the boat and give him an ultimatum and hold on for years waiting for him to leave his wife. I wonder what the average length the ow relationship is on here. Some have been with their mm for years even after a dday. I would love to see the ow tell the wife. They need the truth to know how to deal with their future. They are making life decisions on lies as well as the ow who hangs on and hangs on waiting for the kids to graduate or whatever. These men are great manipulators. Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 That's why you have to say to yourself "to hell with what people say, you can't please everyone" Just make sure to please #1" Yes the me me me attitude of this generation that has eroded society. The you're great you're special attitude from all the white lies the kids have been fed. The it's not your fault it's someone elses. The no accountability of this generation etc etc etc. Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 You see, when an OW make a MM choose, people say she has no rights. If OW shuts up and does nothing, people still talk. Either way, OW never wins. No matter how she explains herself, people are always going to see it their way. Speaking in general. I know you're speaking in general, because I certain don't see it that way. The thing is, most OW do NOT make the MM choose. There wouldn't be so many on this forum who have hung on for year upon year otherwise. Some may say they don't care. I think everyone knows better. Generally speaking. Link to post Share on other sites
lost4ever Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 How often though do you actually see an ow make him make a choice? . I made MM choose, I told him if he contacts me in anyway I am taking it as you want to be with me, and I am telling the wife... Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 I know you're speaking in general, because I certain don't see it that way. The thing is, most OW do NOT make the MM choose. There wouldn't be so many on this forum who have hung on for year upon year otherwise. Some may say they don't care. I think everyone knows better. Generally speaking. I have made mine to choose and there's no problem. There are those who made their MM choose and those who don't. Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 I made MM choose, I told him if he contacts me in anyway I am taking it as you want to be with me, and I am telling the wife... He chose his wife then I guess or should I say family? You did it the right way. You put the fear in him that if he contacts you it's all over and out there. Nice. I think you are one of the rare exceptions here though. Many have been with their mm years. Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 I have made mine to choose and there's no problem. There are those who made their MM choose and those who don't. So he is now separated and out of the house? His wife knows? You are with him still correct? Link to post Share on other sites
lost4ever Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 I think he choice his wife/family....Don't know never heard from him again Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 I think he choice his wife/family....Don't know never heard from him again Do you think you will follow through if he just contacts you to see how you are. I guess he believed you were dead serious. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 I made MM choose, I told him if he contacts me in anyway I am taking it as you want to be with me, and I am telling the wife... I made him choose too. I told him get D or we are through. He chose to not get a D and asking for time off, during which time he started to pursue me but I was not interested anymore, in time he ended up moving back with his W and came back looking for me and that's when I confronted his W. I wanted him out of my hair for good. Of course she has no power over him, silly me I thought she could keep him under a tight leash. He still contacted me for months after that, he hasn't sent me anything in a month...I heard he was Ding things were going very bad for them. I think I'll hear from him again, he sends me messages another way which I cannot speak of here that lets me know things are going very poorly for them and he is def not over me. But I know what's what. Link to post Share on other sites
lost4ever Posted October 24, 2007 Share Posted October 24, 2007 Do you think you will follow through if he just contacts you to see how you are. I guess he believed you were dead serious. I was dead serious. He will not contact me to see how I am doing, he knows full well I will tell. so, Yes I would follow through. I don't even want to start the relationship up again, and I would still tell if he so much as sent a smoke signal up in my general direction. (not bitter, I just know he is an a$$) Link to post Share on other sites
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