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hard to let go


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Hi,

Im gonna keep this as short as I can...

basically i split up with a girl about 4 years ago..

ever since then she has had another boyfreind and immigrating to Australia.

We got together and for 7 months it was pure bliss...

She then went travelling and I met up with her 7 months later..

It was never the same as we kept arguing.

Anyway through this her and my freinds became very good freinds and hung around together. I came back from travelling and waited for her to come back.

We then moved in together and there were good times and bad times.....and then she decided to breakup as she was not happy.

When she immigrated to Australia we were getting on really well emailing and ringing each other for two years, this is until i got a job posted in Syndey. As we never really talked about why we split my second night in Australia all my feelings came out......

I think she was a bit freaked out by it and although she tried to support me intially she soon got bored of it..Since she was the only freind i knew out here i was kicking myself for exposing my feelings so soon. Since then , this was about 6 months ago we have not spoke..i have found out that she has split up with her boyfreind and has found another and has since left Sydney.

I can't quite put my finger on why i am like this...it seems that i have not let go of loving her but i have. All i want is her freindship as I think she has very good qualities.

I have not had really another serious relationship since we split and I am questioning why.

I feel if i do find another girlfreind it would close the door on my feelings for her although I still care for her.

 

I sent her an email about four weeks ago but have had no response and i feeling that perhaps she has nothing but despise for me. Part of me is saying leave it and shut the door while the other feels saddened by the way we have turned out, as I wish we could get on.

All this questions are going round and round in my head...people say that i am being too hard on myself and blaming myself for a lot of what has happened...

Did say i was not going to go on...but i feel i need some answers...

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I'll bet there are lots of women who would like to commit where you are. Four years in limbo is probably long enough. There's a Leann Womack song called 'Not the Healing Kind'. I've seen people get over a relationship in no time, others of us have a hard time 'getting over it'. I'm rather proud that I don't get over a relationship with another person in a matter of weeks. I'm not shallow and unfeeling. Yeah... Enjoy that you feel grief and sorrow for lost love, and look forward to what else you can accomplish.

 

"For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'It might have been!'". John Greenleaf Whittier

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