Separated from nightmare hubby for almost 3 years... now considering reconciliation.

[HeadlessZebra]

Let us call my husband Vlad. I was married to him for six months back in '04, and we were a couple for six months before that. It was one of those ultra-passionate whirlwind romance things and we were nuts about each other. He was 20 and I was 21 at the time. Great.

 

Problem? Vlad was a raging alcoholic; every day he'd drink himself blind and proceed to abuse me verbally, emotionally and often physically. One time he broke my nose. And one time he hanged himself when I told him I was leaving him, and I came downstairs to find him cold and dead hanging from a USB cord. (Luckily he lived. I pulled him down, gave him CPR and called an ambulance, and he suffered no permanent damage.)

 

Anyway, you can see what a nightmare I was living and how lucky I was to get out of it while I still could. I left the state and resumed a normal-ish life, I guess?

 

So the years passed, and I basically considered myself divorced and so did he. Actually getting the divorce finalized was a pain in the ass because we live in different states, so we never got around to it. But, lo and behold, last year he quit drinking. He got his life together, moved to a new city and became a reasonably decent human being over time. This year we started talking on a regular basis and we realized we were still in love with each other, something which isn't likely to ever change... He wants to get back together.

 

Vlad has a year and a half of complete sobriety now, and when he's sober he's always been very sweet and kind to me... I wonder if the LS moral majority thinks it would be a good idea to get back together with him. After all, we're still married, and still in love.... and he's a great chef, and I'm hungry...

 

??

[jmargel]

Once a alcoholic always one. He can NEVER, EVER drink another drink. He also can't blame all his abuse on alcoholism. There are deeper issues with this that requires him to be in constant counciling.

 

Remember he won you over once even though he was an alcoholic, he's playing the same game again. How do you know for a FACT that he has quit drinking? Just by his words or his actions are not going to prove this. Is he in counseling now?

 

What do you exactly love about this guy? He beat the hell out of you. How can you trust someone like that again? I only dread that you might one day have children with this man. You got away once, don't go back. It's time to close this chapter of your life and move on. He has alot of fixing to do, something that can't be done in a year's time. You can't fix him.

 

Move on with your life.