Antonio Posted May 7, 2003 Share Posted May 7, 2003 Okay, here it goes. My girlfriend and I have gotten close. We're in high school, yes, but we've both had out fair share of heartache and pain in our lives. We were friends back in middle school, 7th grade and part of 8th, dated as little kids who didn't know what we were doing, and then I moved away to another town. Back in november of last year she finally started talking to me, and it was then that she told me about her life while I was gone. She fell in love with a guy - we'll call him Tom - for the better part of freshmen and sophomore year. They were together for a year, but from what she told me, they weren't all that great of a relationship. I mean, sure they had their fun and good times, but it seemed like he always wanted to have sex with her, and even then, he wasn't very - for lack of a better word - great. She told me stories about how they would just be playing around and he'd want sex from her, and when they did have sex he never bothered to wait for her to climax - you know, cause girls usually climax after guys - but rather go until he was done, which, according to her, got really old really fast. She told me she hated when he got like that, but I wont form any biased opinions about him. Now it's may and our 6th month is coming up in the beginning of June. I know it seems like a short amount of time, but it seems like we've been together for so much longer that it's absolutely unreal. I know I love her, but worst of all, I know I'm still very scared of losing her. Part of me still thinks she loves her ex. See, before they were officially over, Tom told her that he wanted a break from her, and they went on in that "break" period for about a month - she was all depressed the entire time, still utterly in love with him, and he was off with other girls. The way I see it, she never really stopped loving him because it was him that just ended the relationship, which is why now I'm scared of something happening. He ignored her during the first parts of our relationship - she thought he hated him. During our first few months she was in tears sometimes cause she just wanted him to acknowledge her existance, which he never did. Now, 6 months later, he's acting like nothing ever happened, being nice to her, being her friend, saying she's great and wonderful - and of course she's responding and being friendly right back; I mean, who wouldn't? I'm just worried that she might find some love still hidden in her. Because she -was- in love with him for a lot longer than she has been with me, even though she says she cares for me more than she did for Tom. *sigh* I suppose I'm just being paranoid. I don't like the fact that he used her for sex, and not to mention that he would only say that he loved her -after- they had sex. She said that they were a really great couple, and they -do- look good together - I wont lie about that. I know without much information it's hard to form a conclusion, but hey, feedback is always welcome. Thanks for your time, everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted May 7, 2003 Share Posted May 7, 2003 After a relationship is over, it is often common to remember either the good or the bad. There's no reason for falling back on either, but sometimes it happens. You need to remind her of the bad that this guy had when she starts talking good about him. She may be clouded by his sudden charm. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted May 7, 2003 Share Posted May 7, 2003 i dont think saying bad things about her ex will do any good. all you can do is keep a close eye on things. if she starts to cross boundaries, simply get away from her & see what she does. but while she's just being friendly, there isn't much you can do. if i were you, i'd give her plenty of space so that her head is on YOU. as a side note, i have no idea why she was crying over her ex, who dumped her & went off with other girls immediately, not acknowledging her existence... In general, chances are she'll date many more men before settling down. good luck, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
loca Posted May 7, 2003 Share Posted May 7, 2003 You are still young and like Yes said she will probably date quite a few men before settling down. You will also date quite a few women, I look back at my high school sweetheart and it would have never worked! Do nice things for her like love letters, flowers, ask her how she did on a big test etc. If she does go back to him then you deserve better! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Antonio Posted May 7, 2003 Author Share Posted May 7, 2003 Thanks guys. I'll just see how it all goes. Thanks. =D Link to post Share on other sites
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