audioslave Posted October 25, 2007 Share Posted October 25, 2007 I stumbled across this site awhile ago and just have been lurking around till now and could use some advice. I'll try to keep this short. We met at work and became good friends over the year we have known each other. I'm a 19 year old guy, shes 17 and both us do not have much relationship experience. She isn't like any of the other girls I have met, she is true to herself and friends and is not fake like most of the other girls I have met in the past. Every time I see her she puts a smile on my face even on the worst of days. I have liked her pretty much since the day we met. She is all I have been able to think about lately, to the point where when ever my mind wonders for the slightest second it is her that I am thinking about. I recently told her that I have feelings for her and we decided to have a talk about it.She said she does have feelings for me but doesn't want to lose our friendship over it. I told her how I felt about her and that I really like her and would like to be more then friends. She wants to stay friends for now but said who knows what will happen between us in the future. I have no idea what do from here on, as I said before I really like this girl and I'm not sure if I can just be friends with her. Should I maybe try push for some sort of relationship or wait awhile then try again maybe?or wait and see what she does?... I just have no clue where to go from here. Any advice/comments/suggestions of what to do would greatly be appreciated thanks Link to post Share on other sites
BlueEyedSarah Posted October 25, 2007 Share Posted October 25, 2007 I think its best to respect that all she wants is a friendship right now, nothing more. If you are not able to agree to this and find it may hurt you to be friends with her then best to slowly detatch yourself from her, look elsewhere if your interested in having a relationship with a girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Blue Eyed Brain Posted October 25, 2007 Share Posted October 25, 2007 Although not the exact answer you may have been looking for, it is certainly encouraging. She seems like she's a great person (from your description) and I like the way she answered you; truthful but open to what the future can bring. With many women, they need to digest that a guy likes them. Most women have no clue that a man likes them until they make a move on them. Once this is done, it is sometimes quite likely that she starts to envision herself with this guy (Could I ever be with him? Could he make me happy? If he likes me, could he love me?). All these thoughts start to go through her head. In many cases, she starts to form an attachment similar to yours and BANG - it's all good. Be yourself. Be somewhat flirty and be very intuitive to her reactions to you. I think you have a good shot with her! Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted October 25, 2007 Share Posted October 25, 2007 … and not only that, but if the two of you do happen to end up together romantically, you'll have a solid foundation (friendship) to the relationship. And from my perspective, that's the best way to go. so don't beat yourself up over this, but enjoy it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author audioslave Posted October 26, 2007 Author Share Posted October 26, 2007 Thanks for the insight and responses. So my best bet is to just wait things out and see what happens? Link to post Share on other sites
Lovegod Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 I think you have a good shot with her! I don't. Here's why: I told her how I felt about her and that I really like her and would like to be more then friends. She wants to stay friends for now but said who knows what will happen between us in the future. This is called rejection. For a woman to date you, she has to find you sexually appealing which she isn't seeing in you. You've got yourself into the friendship zone, and it's a tough rut to get out of. Forget about this woman and move on. If you want women to be attracted to you in the future, you need to find that side of you that's sexually appealing to women. Here's a hint: touch her, but in a non-sexual way. And don't try using this to salvage your situation with this woman. When a woman knows you, they can smell it when you're being a phony. Link to post Share on other sites
Ali4134 Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 I'm not so sure. Both of these could be true, but we'd have to see her around him to know for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
hotdixie Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 I also am new to this site looking for some outside advice. I have been in a roller coaster relationship with a pill freak for over a yr now. He has been thru rehab several times and I doubt seriously that he won't have to do it again. Anyhow, I love him--but more like a friend or one of my kids. I am falling for a guy 8 yrs younger than me. When I find myself in a daze, he is who I am thinking of. When I am around him, I feel like I am allowed to be me. I love the way he makes me feel. So, as far as advice for you, I don't have much but "be patient". Do you think you might could help me out????? Link to post Share on other sites
hotdixie Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 I also am new to this site looking for some outside advice. I have been in a roller coaster relationship with a pill freak for over a yr now. He has been thru rehab several times and I doubt seriously that he won't have to do it again. Anyhow, I love him--but more like a friend or one of my kids. I am falling for a guy 8 yrs younger than me. When I find myself in a daze, he is who I am thinking of. When I am around him, I feel like I am allowed to be me. I love the way he makes me feel. So I know how it is to fall for someone unexpectedly too. So, as far as advice for you, I don't have much but "be patient". Do you think you might could help me out????? Sooner or later she will realize that friends make great lovers as well!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Ali4134 Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 Yeah, how old are you and how old is he? Also definately leave the other guy. Most pill addicts never quit. Link to post Share on other sites
hotdixie Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 I am a 35 yr young mother. I have a boyfriend who lays in bed all day everyday while I bust my ass to keep all of our bills paid. He is not the father of the boys. They like him but could be just as happy (if not happier) if I replaced him with someone else. I am falling for a man 8 yrs younger than me. He works everyday and loves my kids. He kinda is still a kid himself and that's alot of what I love about him. When we are near each other, slight strokes of the hair, or the arm, sometimes even legs make me tingle all over. It's amazing that a man who is not "with me" can make me feel things that my boyfriend can't even make me feel any more. To make things much worse--my husband (we've been seperated for 2 yrs) will be out of prison in Feb 08 and I very much am still in love with him. Drugs is what the end of us was. I got clean on my own, it took robbery and prison to get his **** together. I just want someone out there to hopefully read this and try to give me some advice. Link to post Share on other sites
hotdixie Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 I know i need to lose him. No doubt. I am 35, the new guy is 27. How do you get pix up like that???? Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 She wants to stay friends for now but said who knows what will happen between us in the future. To me this sounds like, "I only want to be friends but I'm afraid I'll never see you again if there's no chance of something romantic so I'm going to give you some false hope so you stick around." If you're fine with just friendship with this girl then by all means keep hanging out with her, but I wouldn't hold your breath for anything more. And definitely don't push for a relationship. Bad form. If anything, pull back a little. Link to post Share on other sites
Ali4134 Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 I am a 35 yr young mother. I have a boyfriend who lays in bed all day everyday while I bust my ass to keep all of our bills paid. He is not the father of the boys. They like him but could be just as happy (if not happier) if I replaced him with someone else. I am falling for a man 8 yrs younger than me. He works everyday and loves my kids. He kinda is still a kid himself and that's alot of what I love about him. When we are near each other, slight strokes of the hair, or the arm, sometimes even legs make me tingle all over. It's amazing that a man who is not "with me" can make me feel things that my boyfriend can't even make me feel any more. To make things much worse--my husband (we've been seperated for 2 yrs) will be out of prison in Feb 08 and I very much am still in love with him. Drugs is what the end of us was. I got clean on my own, it took robbery and prison to get his **** together. I just want someone out there to hopefully read this and try to give me some advice. Do not get back with the husband. You both are fine now that you're clean, but bad habits come back with familiar people and surroundings. Stay away. Second Go for this new young guy. He's old enough to know what he wants and to treat you right. Don't worry about the age difference and leave the boyfriend for someone who sounds like they could give you some happiness. Go for as hard as it may be to leave and everything, just do it for the sake of happiness and all that brings. Link to post Share on other sites
Lovegod Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 I have a boyfriend who lays in bed all day everyday while I bust my ass to keep all of our bills paid. I am falling for a man 8 yrs younger than me. my husband (we've been seperated for 2 yrs) will be out of prison in Feb 08 and I very much am still in love with him. Holy Christ, where do I begin here? I know, your kids... He is not the father of the boys. They like him but could be just as happy (if not happier) if I replaced him with someone else. Why are you involving your children in your relationships? You're setting a lousy example for them and aren't giving them any stability in their lives. Second, kick that lazy ass boyfriend out of the house. Third, divorce your ex-husband. Fourth, go ahead and date but keep your kids out of it unless you've developed a serious relationship with the man. Also, quit looking for a man to replace the piece of 5hit that you chose for their existing father. Your kids may have a lousy father, but it is their father and he can NEVER be replaced. You need to quit playing house and take your life seriously not only for your kids' sake, but also for your own. Link to post Share on other sites
Author audioslave Posted October 26, 2007 Author Share Posted October 26, 2007 I'm not so sure. Both of these could be true, but we'd have to see her around him to know for sure. Maybe I can give some insight into what she is like around me. She always seems to be very comfortable and open. she does laugh and joke around a lot. As for the touching that Lovegod talked about, there is some touching, for example: When at work and we pass each other sometimes we purposely bump into each other or playfully push each other around and other contact similar to that. Link to post Share on other sites
Ali4134 Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 Maybe I can give some insight into what she is like around me. She always seems to be very comfortable and open. she does laugh and joke around a lot. As for the touching that Lovegod talked about, there is some touching, for example: When at work and we pass each other sometimes we purposely bump into each other or playfully push each other around and other contact similar to that. Thats seems good. But just stay friends for now and let her feelings catch up to yours. Invite her to hang out and all that. Then after about a month if she doesn't say anything about going further and you still feel the same, then tell her you can't stand to just be friends when you feel the way you feel. See what she says then. For now, just let it digest. Link to post Share on other sites
heatherd1201 Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 Thats seems good. But just stay friends for now and let her feelings catch up to yours. Invite her to hang out and all that. Then after about a month if she doesn't say anything about going further and you still feel the same, then tell her you can't stand to just be friends when you feel the way you feel. See what she says then. For now, just let it digest. I completely agree. YOu never know what might happen. She might just be afraid that if a relationship doesnt work out then she will lose a friend. She'll come around eventually IF she has feelings. I promise. I was "just friends" for months with the man I will be marrying in 6 months..... Link to post Share on other sites
Yosef Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 Her worries are understandable. She loves to have you as a friend but doesn't want to rush. Like hotdixie said, PATIENCE. Link to post Share on other sites
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