newstart4141 Posted October 25, 2007 Share Posted October 25, 2007 Ok, here is my story in brief. Married for 6 years, together for 11. Found out very recently (week ago) wife had affair and was not going to completely cut off the other guy. I threw her out of house and that was I guess unexpected by her. The affair lasted 2 years and I had not much of an idea of physical contact but had my suspisions. Problem for me is twofold. She is trying to keep things civil (and I'm on board with that) but wants to see me and our dogs and house often. She has some stuff still here and I can understand she would miss being with the dogs. Second thing is she is still lying about stuff as I have caught her a couple times already. I'm happy she has to suffer and deal with the pain she is in, I'm just starting to get over it. At this point divorce is inevitable but shes convinced we stay separated until we know for sure. I went through so much pain and still am trying to recover but know for sure I need months if not years to get back any trust. So here I go, I'm 30 and single and the world in front of me. I don't want to rush into anything but feel I have to have other relationships to build up my confidence. I just need advice on if I shut her out completely or set a timeframe for which there is no way I can consider? I can't even phathom letting her back in my life but also can't say there is no chance of it. Link to post Share on other sites
lost4ever Posted October 25, 2007 Share Posted October 25, 2007 I had an A, We have went back and forth with can he forgive me/ do I want him too, ect. and all I can say is if you don't know 100% that you want to work this out, get it over with ASAP and move on, it is not healthy for neither of you to do the back and forth, We get a long pretty well (after the stages) but when we didn't do things the right way (like seperate $ off the get, we would both question eachother with what are you spend this for) just one example. There will always be should I stay and work on trusting her again, but you also have to remember that it is hard work, and there was problems before the A, you would have to work on the ones before and now the ones after. Link to post Share on other sites
Author newstart4141 Posted October 26, 2007 Author Share Posted October 26, 2007 That does help. I think I'm firm with my decision to just move along and hope we can be civil and maybe friends at some point. She needs to earn that back before anything else can happen. Link to post Share on other sites
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