moving out

[yes]

hi everybody,

 

looking for your opinions yet again! This time it's about living on your own. I currently live at home (w/ parents), and they don't want me to move out until i get married. I have to live here for another year until I finish my bachelor's (I pay the tuition, so I wouldn't be able to live on my own). We do have a good relationship, but I have my heart set of moving out once I have my bachelor's, whether I'll be in grad school or working ...

 

What have your experiences been like? Do you think it's a good idea to move out and live on your own? Anybody stay at home until marriage?

 

Also, room-mates or no room-mates?

 

Any thoughts or comments or stories will be appreciated!

 

-yes

[loca]

Yes-

I moved out when I was 21. I had a roommate for quite sometime. It was a guy and everything went pretty good, but then I moved in w/ a boyfriend (it was easier w/ the roommate) Anyway, now I live by myself. I bought my own house and I love it. I clean when I want, wake up when I want and I don't have to worry about my roommate coming home w/ a lot of unvited guest. It is hard however when it comes to the bills. I have my BS and I am working on my Master's degree. I have two jobs, but it is worth it. I suggest maybe starting off w/ a roommate because it is ALOT cheaper. If money is not an issue then I would suggest living alone. Just be careful who you chose to live with. You have to deal w/ their friends and boyfriends/girlfriends and anyone else they decide to bring into your home. I do suggest moving out because I think everyone (especially us women) need to know how to be independent! Don't wait around on a man! Good luck.

[quankanne]

lived at home until I was 21, because my parents were putting me through junior college. when I transferred to a university three hours from home, I lived in the dorms the first semester, which I think was a good transitional phase, because I met people but was still in a "protective" atmosphere (it was an all-girls dorm).

 

I went home for the summer break, spending that time with my parents. When I went back in the fall, I got an apartment with the girl whom I shared a dorm room with (familiarity with my roomie helped make smoother transition of "being on my own"). I got a job in that town and pretty much only went home for short visits after that.

 

I'm not sure how my parents handled me being away from home because I'm their youngest and pretty close to them, though they didn't raise a fuss about the changes.

 

I guess my advice is, do what you feel most comfortable with. If you feel better about moving across town in from your parents when you get into grad school so you'll still be able to see them as often as you like, then do it. If moving across the state or region is more your idea of declaring your independence, go for it. If you've got a close relationship with them, just be sure to let them know that you'll still be in contact with them, it'll just make them feel a bit better about letting their 'chick' fly the coop!

 

The roommate question is a tougher one -- with the exception of my first college roommate, who could be very smothering, I did pretty good with the folks I roomed with. But it all boils down to whether or not you feel you can share space with someone who is pretty much a complete stranger.

[clia]

I definitely think moving out is in your best interest, but not before you are ready. After all, it could be ten years before you get married! Living on your own (whether with or without roommates) is the best way to understand what "the real world" is like.

 

Some things to think about, though:

 

-- You may want to wait six months or a year after you get your degree to move out. To move out, you will need a security deposit, which is normally one month's rent, and you also may need to pay last month's rent up front, depending on the lease situation. You also may need to buy things like furniture, a bed, dishes, rugs, lamps, a kitchen table and chairs, a TV, etc...all the things you need to fill up an empty apartment. You can get these things pretty cheap at places like IKEA, but still, the cost does start to add up. You may need the extra time after you graduate to save up enough to comfortably move out.

 

-- Roommates are a good idea at first, at minimum for the money factor. It makes a big difference to be able to split the utilities and rent with someone else. Just make sure you find someone you like to live with, or the results can be disasterous. After a year or two, you can always get your own place.

[jessicakicksbut]

Like yourself, I really wanted to move out on my own after getting my B.S. degree. I waited about a year, saved up money, and moved. I ended up not really liking living on my own. Not that my parents did everything for me, that wasn't the case at all. In fact, once I graduated and got my job, I started paying their utility bills, bought them furniture, helped them get groceries, did laundry, cooked, etc. So, I had no problem with the responsiblity aspects of being able to live on my own.

 

What I actually disliked most is living in an apartment. I had a two bedroom apartment, a cute place, but I felt so confined and that I lacked freedom and privacy. I had people living below me, above me, and on three different sides of me. In the morning when I would try to sleep (I work nights), there was a mother and two children who lived upstairs from me who used to make my apartment shake in the morning with all the noise and "moving around" and such in the morning when they were getting ready. Then, later on in the morning/early afternoon, I had a couple in their 80's who used to blast jazz records because they had a hearing problem (although they were very nice people, and I used to go over their place for a coffee every once in a while). In the evening, there was a guy in his 20's who used to have all kinds of people going in and out of his place, making all kinds of noise. Plus, "funny" smells used to come from his place...I have my suspicions that they were smoking pot. Finally, there were always teenage girls from my floor who used to hang around in the hallway to my floor.

 

I grew to hate it, and missed living in a house. I ended up moving back with my parents once the lease is up, and now I am saving for my wedding (which is in Oct.), and a house. I could not stand living in an apartment building, and do not consider living with a bunch of inconsiderate people in the same building a "real life experience". Maybe it was just the size of my building which led to problems (12 units).

 

I missed living in a house, having a yard, having a garden and doing yard work, having a washer/dryer (there was no hook-up in my apartment), having pets (can't do that in a apartment building), having a driveway, having a basement and an attic where I can store things, having an air conditioner (apartment was wired for 110 volts, and air conditioners are supposed to run on 220 v), being able to replace or remodel anything you don't like about the place, and about all privacy.

 

I can go on and on...the best advice I can give to you, buy or rent a house, apartments are for the birds! And just think, right now with mortgage rates as low as they are, and property values declining, it is definately a buyer's market out there. If you do not have the money for either, I would stay home with your parents and save vigorously. I was really fortunate and got a decent paying job our of college, I wish you lots of luck that the same happens for you also to help you with expenses. As for having a roomate, I would never do it...kiss your privacy goodbye!

[yes]

thanks for the stories, everybody =)

 

Jessica! Interestingly, my situation is exactly reversed. I've lived in apartments for the first 16-17 years or my life, and living in a house now is in fact one of the reasons I wan't to move out - I don't like the backyard, the stairs, the garbage in the garage, etc. But thanks for reminding me what asses neightbours can be!

 

All in all ... I think I'll try to work abroad in order to save up for these intitial costs Clia mentioned, and then do my master's, possibly part-time.

 

Thanks a lot,

-yes